Stricken
by TigerTiger02
Summary: New Chapter and Revised Chapters Dean and Sam stumble across the biggest unknown to the world, including them, the Slayer. Joce, a Slayer, joins them and discovers that she is in for the ride of her life, especially where Dean is concerned.
1. The Beginning

Title: Stricken

Author: TigerTiger02

Chapter: The Beginning

Summery: While stopping in the town of Widowsvale Dean and Sam stumbled across the biggest unknown to the world, including them, the Slayer. At the same time Joce has been left by Faith to continue to investigate a strange creature that attacked Alex in the woods. And now is when the Winchester Boys and the Hunted Slayer come to meet.

Disclaimer: Alex and Joce are the only people of my invention; Widowsvale is a place I conjured up, if it resembles or is anyone's town then it was purely coincidence. _Supernatural_ and _Buffy: the Vampire Slayer_ are owned by their respective creators.

Spoiler: "Chosen" for _BTVS_ and "Dead in the Water" and beyond for _Supernatural._

Dedication: to Tarryn the inspiration of Alex and half the funny lines, to Nikki who is the partial inspiration of Joce.

* * *

Joce frowned as she struggled to light her cigarette in the cemetery. 

"Fuck!" she cursed again as her bangs fell back into her eyes, and were nearly put aflame by the lighter. Finally she managed not to singe her bangs and light her cigarette. The night was cold and windy and all she had on her was her leather jacket and a fading black hoodie. The night was not going well.

Faith had left earlier, which meant she was alone in this small town, which also meant she had no way to leave if things got bad. She didn't know exactly what was happening here, but it was bad. People were being mysteriously killed off by something that only Alex had encountered, and the only half-sane girl wasn't talking.

So Faith had gone for reinforcements, who knew how long that would take. It had beaten Alex so badly that she had to be hospitalized, that was nearly a month ago. She shivered when she thought of Alex's broken body; she had looked so horrible that Joce had voiced that maybe they should just let her die. Faith had been adamant and now the girl was in psyche ward.

And so Joce waited, for what she didn't know. Did she wait to be picked off? Did she wait for it to come to her and kill her? Did she wait for the vampire that was now clawing her way out of her own grave, yep you betcha!

It took a couple of minutes before the confused woman stepped out of her grave.

"Oh for god's sake! They just **had** to bury me in this _ugly old thing!_ And my god _these shoes!_ **I hate these shoes!**" Joce could only blink as the woman fretted over her family's choice of an outfit. She finally looked up with gold eyes.

"Oh, hello." She said very calmly, "Are you here to make me dead… again?"

"Well… yeah it is kind of my job, as a Slayer…" Joce murmured. Was she really having this conversation?

"Oh, well before we fight to your death can you give me a moment to take these shoes off and make this thing more suitable for fighting?"

"Have at it." Joce said. She placed the cigarette on a nearby headstone, confident that she would finish the newly sired vampire before it would burn down. Finally the woman got into a clumsy fighting stance.

"I was taking Tae Kwan Do before I died you know, I was just starting out, a yellow belt."

"Oh? Good you might actually be a challenge." the woman laughed.

"Somehow I doubt it." She said just before she flew at Joce. Joce grunted as the woman's punch connected with her forearm, a good thing that Joce was good at blocking.

"Damn that's a good right hook you got there."

"Thank you." The vamp said as she went into a flurry of kicks and punches.

They are both silent as they move around the graveyard, and they come in contact with a nice tree by a mausoleum. Well Joce is actually thrown into it but it's all the same. She's managed to secure a branch that could be used for staking. She quick about it and the woman seems surprised.

"Oh…" she whispers and then she is ash in the wind. Joce frowns slightly as she picks up her cigarette.

"Fuck." She murmurs, noting that it's nearly a quarter gone.

* * *

A black car roars down the road. Inside are two brothers. 

"Dean, can we _please_ get better tapes, I'm sick of listening to AC/DC."

"Nope." Dean chirps from the driver's side.

"Well can you at least tell me where we are going?" Sam asks.

"Nope."

"Fine!" Sam snaps out and then rolls over to sleep. Dean pauses a minute and wonders if maybe he should tell Sam, but how could he tell him when he didn't even know where they were going? He sighed slightly and glanced at a sign. "Widowsvale?" he questions out loud, sure why not? He was tired and they did need to stop and check out some possible leads to not-to-good-doers. He made the exit.

Later he had managed to shove Sam into their room and was now out on the porch having a sit and some fresh air. This town was silent and nice, there was definitely nothing going on here. But even as he was ready to go inside a girl came rambling up. She was dressed in low riding jeans; her black hoodie and leather jacket were open, revealing a too short shirt so it showed an expanse of her stomach and a naval piercing.

She carried a crossbow in one hand and had a sword strapped to her waist. Her long black hair was whipping around in the wind and the cigarette dangling from her full, lipsticked red lips impaired her singing. She glanced up at him but didn't seem to care that he noted her unusual accessories.

"Morning." He called out. She started slightly and narrowed her eyes at him.

"What time is it?" she asked as she ambled up the short set of stairs. He glanced at his watch.

"Four." He replied, "Well nearly." She nodded, not fazed by the early, or late for what she hunted, time.

"Figures, I thought there was something off with the numbers this evening." She muttered.

"What was that?" Dean asks, suddenly alert. Her eyes snap back to him, from where she's been eyeing a stretch of forest.

"Hmm?" She's seen something, and she knows what it is and what it can do. Dean's so sure of he would bet the Impala.

"What did you see?" he prods. Maybe she's not like how she appears. Maybe she'll crumble. She doesn't.

"Deer." She says without hesitation, but he knows she saw something. He knows from the way she discarded the cigarette. From the way her hand dropped down to the handle of the sword. From how she lifts the crossbow slightly, he knows that she's seen something and she knows what's out there. Now he'll have to loosen her tongue if she won't willingly tell him. He puts on his best innocent and charming act.

"Say, would you like to join me for a drink?" he asks. Although this is partially for information, he knows that he's also attracted to her, with luck he might be able to… well for lack of a better phrase, bed her within a couple hours. She pauses for a moment and really looks at him. He can tell that she's taking each of his features and deciding if she would be physically attracted to him. It starts from his hair and ends somewhere around his boots.

"Nice boots," she says finally and then mentally adds on _'Nice Boots. Wanna fuck?'_. "Let me go discard of my props and call a friend."

"A friend?" he questions, while mentally leering.

"She might be back in an hour and I want her to know that I might be out." She says, he can't decide on whether or not she's lying so he takes it as the truth.

* * *

Joce knows that she shouldn't be eyeing this guy the way she is. It's stupid and reckless but she can't quite help it. His eyes are decidedly pretty, with their seemingly innocent wideness and full lashes; the color is a brilliant, fiery hazel. His facial structure is perfect; he could be a model for all she knew. His lips are the way she likes them, full, supple, and sensitive but without the overdone pout. He is broad shouldered; she likes that. And he's tall (she thinks about 6'0), just the way she likes it, but still shorter than some of the men she's dated. If he is 6'0 like she suspects then he is a good five inches taller than her. 

He looks well built under the simple t-shirt and leather jacket; his legs appear to be strong in their tight jeans. She nearly starts to drool right there. She has a feeling that he might know more then he is letting on, possibly he might know what kind of creature is out stalking the night. Her libido unfortunately makes the decision for her. She's been a Slayer for two years, that's a long time not to have sex. She went from a promiscuous and happy 22-year-old to a celibate solemn 24-year-old. She says yes and disappears into her room.

She stores her weapons and remembers to store a dagger in her boot, and a stake or two in her pockets. She washes her face and puts on some liner and lipstick. Joce remembers what she's wearing under the coat and changes her shirt to tank top under a sheer white long sleeve. She dials up Faith.

"Hello?" a sleepy voice asks.

"Hey Faith, I think I might have a lead down here."

"Joce? What time is it?"

"Four here, why?"

"Why are you up at four?"

"Just got in," she replies distractedly, the cute guy outside is waiting for her; she has to make this quick, "there's this guy here, I think he might have checked in tonight, anyway I think he might know something."

"Joce the attacks have been happening for the past two months, he can't be connected." Faith explains.

"I know that!" Joce snaps, "I think he might have an inkling of what it is though. I mean he didn't even flinch when he saw my weapons-."

"Wait he saw your weapons?" Faith interrupts, "What did he say? What did you say?"

"He didn't say a thing but when I told him I had to make a call I also mentioned that I needed to put my props away."

"Yeah okay, wait what?"

"I'm going out with him for a drink." She leans against the counter and twists the cord of the phone in her hands.

"Oh really?"

"It's not what you think, I'm going to try and get information out of him."

"Sure, you say that now but that's going to be the last thing on your mind later. Look, have some fun tonight, don't worry about him, he's probably just someone who stumbled onto our territory and does some hunting from time to time, there are plenty of those guys around and some are actually good. Anyway, for god's sake Joce, loosen up and get some already. I'll be back in two days." There was a click and Joce sneered at the phone before placing it on the receiver.

She steps outside and breaths deeply. The guy turns around, "By the way, I'm Dean Winchester." He says and his voice is soothing and slightly melodic. Joce can't help but smile.

"Jocelyn Croft, but people call me Joce." He gave a smile as he escorts her to a car.

"Is the nearest bar far?" he asked. Her eyes went wide as she nodded.

"Nice car…" she can't help but purr out as she runs fingers over the sleek black paint, it was a '67 Chevy Impala Fastback Coupe.

* * *

She nurses a vodka cranberry as they talk. 

"So what exactly do you do for a living?" he finally asks, she nearly chokes.

"I work for a traveling theater company. This time they're doing some sort of medieval play or something so I've been going around buying weapons that were once used. Of course I had to test my prototypes out and see if they would work without actually killing someone."

"And did they?"

"Perfection." That's when there's a shudder up her spine. A vampire. Honestly they had only been there twenty minutes and already there was one. Joce can't decide what lie she's going to tell Dean when one presents itself.

"Excuse me for a moment, I should call my brother, tell him to leave the chain undone." He says politely. She can't believe her luck.

Joce waits until he's out of sight before standing and following the vamp with the lady outside. They are making out when she gets there.

"Didn't your mama ever tell you not to play with your food?" She throws out. The vampire jerks away. She doesn't even note that Dean is coming into the alley from where they parked the car.

"_Slayer…"_ the vampire hisses, _"Your blood will make me more powerful, and I will drink you until you are dry."_

"You guys should really get new lines; I've heard that one five times tonight. It's over done. How about you use, _'Slayer, you are much more powerful then I am, so now I will allow you to stake me until I am ash in the wind, no please don't beat me with my rib'_."

The vampire lunged and Joce was thrown to the ground. She head-butted him and leapt up. He scrambled up and Joce smirked. "Let me guess you're the one that had been trying to make this a vampire town? You can't be a Master yet, so I'm guessing you've been scraping by the past twenty years and trying to keep you head down." The vampire snarled at her, "Yeah thought so, clothing is outdated, and you are stronger then any vampires I've encountered in this whole damn town."

"Thank you, now shut up, I like my food silent." The vampire finally said.

"And I like my prey to lay back and not fight me, but you just can't always get what you want."

"Shut up now, Little Girl!" the vampire snarled out. She flung her fist out and caught his cheek. The vampire stumbled away from the force and then growled before lashing out. The fight was lasting longer then it should have, the alcohol was affecting her. She hadn't been this slow. She fumbled for her stake as it managed to catch her against the wall and began to strangle her. Suddenly the vampire drew back and snarled.

Behind it was Dean with a dagger. His eyes went wide just before the vampire lashed out. He was flung to the ground and the vampire began to stalk toward him.

"**Idiot boy**, did you really think a simple dagger could harm me?" it laughed, "how noble of you, coming to her aid. But don't you realize? She is **evil!**" Joce took the moment while the vampire was distracted and tapped his shoulder. He turned and she plunged the stake into his chest.

"Evil? Give me a break…" the vampire broke down into dust. "I mean honestly, I may have broken the commandments and totally committed the seven deadly sins but evil? Women always get a bad rep." she snorted out.

"A Slayer huh?" Dean said to her left. She turned.

"Oh fuck me!" she cursed.

"Gladly, but only if you tell me what's going on."

"Go home Hunter, you're on our territory now." She said coldly.

"Oh? You and what army?" Dean bit out; damn he should have known that she would turn out to be a bitch.

"Leave now."

"Tell me what's going on here, I already know about you Slayers so you can forget about keeping your little secret. What I want to know is what did you see in the woods? Why are you here?" Joce let out a long breath.

"Look let's get back to the motel and we'll talk there." Her eyes darted around the ally rapidly, "I'm in mood to repeat what happened to Alex."

"And what happened to Alex?" he asked.

"Like I said motel first."

* * *

Dean turned to Joce. 

"My room." He said before she could say anything.

"Why your room?"

"Because my brother would want to know about this too." Joce groaned.

"Fine but let's go to my room first, I want to make a call and grab a couple of things." He followed her into her room. Weapons covered almost every inch. There were several books and cloths littering the floor. In the garbage can there were various take-out boxes and wrappers from well-known fast-food joints.

"Well I can see that you've been here for awhile." He remarked. She shot him an annoyed look, "Well it's kind of obvious, how long?"

"Six weeks in a couple of days. At first Giles sent us here to investigate the spike in animal related killings. After a week it was apparent there was a Master vampire trying to turn this into a vampire town, and not only that but there was something here that none of us have ever seen. A demon that we haven't encountered, and that's saying something considering what we've seen." She gave a shudder but continued to gather up books as she spoke,

"Anyway it certainly seemed like a werewolf but Alex hacked into the coroners files and looked at the marks, nothing. We tried to go through the Watcher's Database but Willow had told us we wouldn't find much in there considering she's been too busy to finish it and Giles is too much of a technophobe to even consider doing it. We called Dawn and Buffy but Buffy wasn't willing to allow Dawn out of her sight, not after what happen two years ago and six months ago. So then about a month ago Alex went hunting around the woods with Faith. I kept to the two cemeteries, as it was my turn. Unfortunately Faith and Alex got separated. Since the cemetery I was in was close to the woods I was able to hear her scream along with Faith…" she paused and her face fell.

"What happened?" he prodded gently.

"It nearly killed her, she might not be able to walk again or have full usage of her left arm. Faith and I debated on whether or not we should just let her die but she didn't have the guts to do it. Alex won't talk about what happened and is in the psyche ward at the hospital now… Faith went for reinforcements earlier; she won't be back for another two days."

"Good god…" Dean muttered.

"Yeah, pretty much. Hold on a minute." Joce hit the redial on the phone. "I know I'm sorry," she said into the phone, "no Faith that's not why I'm calling… yes it is about- Faith! His name is Dean Winchester… you've heard of him? Oh his father… yeah… basically… you don't mind? Good… I will… not going to happen now… fine. Bye."

Dean felt certain that they were talking about him, but that could be because Joce kept shooting him looks every couple of words. She let the phone fall back into the cradle and gathered up some books.

"Need help?" he asked and gestured to the heavy tomes that she was picking up, it was enough to even make him grunt with effort. However she blinked over them and there wasn't even a wince as she picked them up and sauntered toward the door.

* * *

"Sam! Get your lazy ass up! We have something!" Dean called as Joce stepped in behind him. Joce let the books drop on the table and watched what had to be a 22-year-old leap up from his bed startled. She let out a dry chuckle as he got into a clumsy fighting stance. 

"Whoa there Tiger, why don't you put some cloths on and we'll talk." Joce said. Sam flushed deep red and hurriedly pulled on some pants and a shirt. Finally he turned questioning eyes to Dean.

"Who is she? And why is she here?" Sam asked.

"She is Joce Croft, and she's here because I asked her to be here." Joce smirked slightly.

"Neither of you mind if I smoke, do you?" she asked and then added on, "It's kind of something I picked up from my friend Spike, a nervous habit if you please. And who wouldn't be nervous around Angel…"

"Spike? Angel?" Sam asked incredulously.

"Yeah a couple of good-vampires-with-a-soul. Used to be known as William the Bloody and Angelus." Sam's eyes went wide while Dean merely raised an eyebrow.

"You mean you know them?" Sam asked, "How is that… never mind I really don't want to know."

"Good, because it's a long story and I lack the patience to tell it." Dean leaned forward.

"I thought William the Bloody didn't have a soul… I thought he had perished in the collapse of Sunnydale."

"Oh he did, but that doesn't mean he stayed dead… anyway that's not the reason why I'm here…"

"Well, you'll have to tell me about Spike and Angelus, was it, sometime." Dean says flirtatiously.

"Yeah why are you here?" Sam asked with an edge to his tone, clearly he did not like his brother bringing a seemingly useless woman to their room. Joce shot him a glare and Dean sighed deeply.

"Well if you shut your trap for one minute I'll spill." Joce said petulantly.

"Fine." Sam ground out.

"Alright… so Giles the Head of the Watchers Council gets some reports from the Coven that…"

* * *

Twenty minutes later Joce leaned back in her chair and waited Sam to finish absorbing what she had told them. 

"So… you're saying that you are here, alone now, and hunting for something that you don't even know what it is… and it nearly killed your friend, who is a very good fighter."

"Ding, ding, ding, what do we have here for Sammy, Bob?" Dean mocked.

"I told you stop calling me that, jerk!" Sam said as he punched Dean harshly on the arm. Dean winced.

"Yowch!" Joce snickered.

"Try having a Slayer do that."

"You keep mentioning Slayer's what are they… I mean other then a shitty metal band…" Sam muttered.

"Hey!" Dean ground out as he smacked Sam behind the head. "Anyway, Sammy boy, I swear Dad mentioned them somewhere in his journal. Or maybe he just mentioned it to me…"

"He probably did. Among most hunters we pass by unnoticed. They just think that we're a bunch of cocky girls playing hunter. But of course we aren't. But your father is one of the more knowledgeable hunters. And we've apparently had dealings with him before." She shrugged briefly.

"We? As in plural? Dad only mentioned that there was one. In California." Dean said.

"Oh, there was only one of us. But there was with whole throw-down with the First Evil and now there's a whole army of us."

"Wait, First Evil?" Sam said incredulously.

"Focus on one subject at a time, boys, I know it's hard with such a pretty lady in front of you…" Joce said jokingly.

"And how right you are… _le petit butterfly_…" Dean said as he grabbed her hand and began to ravish it and her arm with kisses. Leave it to Dean to never miss an opportunity to flirt even in potential danger. Joce giggled and flushed deeply. Frustrated by her evading answer, Sam snorted and rolled his eyes, clearly not amused by Dean's antics either.

"Oh for god's sake, get a room you two!" Sam said finally as Dean continued to say nonsense declarations about her beauty and vowed never to sleep again in her presence since she was the sun, and as he continued to kiss her hands. Dean pulled away and pouted.

"Maybe you should leave the room then." He said haughtily and raised an eyebrow in challenge. Sam gave a disgusted noise once more and picked up his coat.

"Yeah maybe I should." He said angrily as he pulled on the coat and left while slamming the door. Joce pulled her hand away gently and turned slightly disappointed eyes to Dean who made no move to pick it up again.

"Jesus, I just don't get why he has to be so damn sensitive." Dean by then had gotten up and was pacing. Joce stood and placed a hand on his arm.

"Maybe I should go after him…"

"Yeah maybe I sho- _wait what?"_

"I mean you are the one who pissed him off… and I'm not related to him… he might tell me why he stormed off like that."

"Oh I'm sure I already know the answer to that one…" Dean muttered, "But if you want to lose sleep and go play therapist, be my guest."

"Well if you want to go talk to him feel free to let me know." Joce growled out, how could this guy be so damn seductive one second then the next is a complete dick.

"Fine, just go get him so we can finish this little tête-à-tête."

"Fine." Joce growled out, turned around, and slams the door behind her. Dean winced; he knew he shouldn't have said that.

* * *

"You should come back inside." Joce said softly to Sam. 

"And why should I?"

"We need to finish this so you guys can leave."

"Who said we were leaving?"

"It would be a good idea for you guys to leave. This is one where you have no business intervening." Sam turned to her, he was clenching his jaw and grinding it as his nostrils flared, a sure sign he was pissed.

"Yeah and how do you know that it is not our business?" he asked while stepping too close to her. Joce fought the urge to show him her near perfect left hook as they stood chest to chest. He was trying to intimidate her as he towered over her, glaring defiantly at her. Joce tossed her head.

"What? You think this is scaring me? Look, Pal, you're going to have try a hell of a lot harder then this to scare me, I'm the thing that makes the things that go bump in the night wet their pants. You don't scare me one bit, so back off."

"No. Not until you tell me why you don't think I have any right to be here." Sam growled out.

"Fine but you asked for it." Joce ground out before she reached over, grabbed his wrist, and then hauled him over her shoulder. Sam landed on the ground with a grunt and Joce put a boot on his chest. "Happy?" she asked. Sam shoved her foot off his chest and stood up.

"Yes. Very." He ground out, leaped up the steps, and disappeared into his room. Joce followed after him and took her seat once more.

"Right, well you guys want to know what a slayer is? I'm kind of surprised your dad didn't say anything, he's known about the Watchers for a very long time."

"Yeah well he's never been much of a talker, only mentioned Slayers once beside that page entry, he's just very, very secretive…" Dean muttered. Joce paused a moment to light her cigarette before she spoke.

"Okay so the world was not paradise in the beginning, actually it was for demons. Point is it was hell. And before we drove them out, a demon infected a human, thus the vampire was born."

"Hold up a second, you're saying that the world was hell… and now is a remnant of hell?" Dean asked.

"Why do you think there are hellmouths?" Joce shot back, "Anyway vampires are totally demon, and they're like half-demon. There are no true demons anyway, or at least not many. But basically any demon you see is only a half-breed. And vampires look like a human. When a personally is infected with one the demon part takes over the human body. Basically it makes a human suit and climbs on it. So you act basically the same as you were before you were dead, only immoral."

"So basically vampires have no souls." Sam stated. Joce gave a harsh laugh.

"Soul is just another word for a conscience, for guilt and remorse. Which is what we have… well most of us have it…"

"Okay… so what do these Watchers and Slayer have to do with this?"

"Well like I was saying soon this demon infected everyone it bit and fed its own blood to. There were also half-breeds and such. The situation was getting a little out of control so a group of men got together, the Shadow Men, and they took a girls heart from her-."

"_What?"_ Dean shouted and stood quickly, his chair clattered on the ground and Joce sighed.

"Yes, her heart. Like I was saying they took her heart out of her and imbued her with the strength and skill of the vampires. They were as strong and fast as the vampire. They had the senses of a vampire and even little touch of ESP, prophetic dreams… so on and so forth."

"Okay, so what? You've been a Slayer you're whole life?" Sam asked.

"Nah only ever since I was old enough to handle a weapon I've been training. And the training only got harder when I reached puberty. I was nearly the age we are called after all."

"Eighteen?" Dean asked, taking a wild stab.

"Try fifteen, and most of us don't even make it past that. Anyway when I reached eighteen they knew that even though I still had the potential to be a slayer I would never be one, I was too old. So I started to train as a Watcher. Some of us who don't make the cut keep working for The Council and some go into the world. I stayed on. I eventually dreamed of others and realized that I was actually a Slayer. Later Willow came for me and spilled.

"Anyway these Shadow Men do this heinous thing to this girl. They tell her what she has to do and then watched over her and made sure she did what she was supposed to do, hence the moniker of Watcher and Slayer. But then she dies, no one knows how she died but she did and that's when the power transferred to another girls… and so the line started. One falls and another rises from her ashes. Slayer's are always girls probably some sick cosmic joke, and well… you know the rest of the story. She alone will fight the vampires, demons, and other forces of darkness. She does not walk in this world. She is the Slayer, blah blah blah, yada yada yada..."

"Wow." Dean mumbled.

"Yeah, try telling that to a three year old, that was how old I was when they came for me."

"Wow." Dean repeated.

"Did I break him or something?" Joce asked Sam. Sam shrugged.

"Dunno, probably… his small mind takes awhile to process things." Dean immediately leapt up and tackles Sam to a bed while twisting his arm behind his back.

"What was that Sammy?"

"Don't call me that… and get off of me, you weigh a ton." Dean rolled away from him and turned back to Joce.

"So, what now?" Joce shrugged.

"We wait for Faith to get back. We'll go to the hospital tomorrow and see if I can get anything more out of Alex."

* * *

A/N: Well…. This is the new and improved version. I was reading over the older chapters and realized how bizarre and random they were so I'm starting to spiffy them up a bit. 


	2. Into the Woods Riding Hood Goes

Title: Stricken

Author: TigerTiger02

Chapter: Into the Woods Riding Hood Goes

Summery: While stopping in the town of Widowsvale Dean and Sam stumbled across the biggest unknown to the world, including them, the Slayer. At the same time Joce has been left by Faith to continue to investigate a strange creature that attacked Alex in the woods. And now is when the Winchester Boys and the Hunted Slayer come to meet.

Disclaimer: Alex and Joce are the only people of my invention; Widowsvale is a place I conjured up, if it resembles or is anyone's town then it was purely coincidence. _Supernatural_ and _Buffy: the Vampire Slayer_ are owned by their respective creators.

Spoiler: "Chosen" for _BTVS_ and "Dead in the Water" and beyond for _Supernatural._

Dedication: to Tarryn the inspiration of Alex and half the funny lines, to Nikki who is the partial inspiration of Joce.

* * *

Joce smacked the alarm clock next to her bed and rolled off the bed. She crawled around on her floor trying to find where she had put her cigarettes as someone knocked insistently on the door. Making sure she was at least wearing a tank and boxers she shouted while pulling out her cigarette, "It's unlocked!" Dean stepped through the door and stopped a minute to admire the sight of Joce sitting on the floor, wearing barely anything, and attempting to light her cigarette. He pulled his Zippo out of his pocket and flicked it open before running the gear down his leg against his jeans. It caught the flint and burst into flame. Joce blinked and leaned forward taking a deep drag and letting the smoke stream out from her nose. 

"What's that?" she asked and gestured to the cup carrier he was holding with two steaming Dunkin Dounuts cups and a bag in his right hand.

"I bought breakfast." He said while shaking the bag. Joce groaned.

"Hmmm sugary carbs, and potentially cancer causing hot liquid, the perfect way to start your day." she said as she pushed herself up from the floor.

"Oh god, please don't tell me you're one of those girls who only eats carrot sticks and celery and drinks only water." Dean grumbled out as she sat down at the table. "Because I can tell you that from where I'm lookin' you are absolutely perfect." He said while tilting his head as she turned and bent to find some suitable clothing on the floor. He let a smirk flit across his face, "yeah… definitely perfect." He mumbled as he continued to check out her ass. He straightened and coughed a couple of times as she stood up and pulled on a pair of slightly baggy pants that had a guy-ish look.

"I think these might be Alex's." she muttered as she turned and stripped off her shirt and pulled on a sports bra, then a tight black_ The Dresden Dolls_ t-shirt. Dean nearly fell out his chair as she did this, totally not expected her to half strip in front of him. Joce turned around and caught his wide eyed expression, "What?"

"N-Nothing…" Dean squeaked out.

"Say… I was just thinking… could I come with you guys?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean go and hunt with you guys… you know fight the good fight… Montana is getting to be a drag…"

"Well… I would love for you to come with us but Sammy might disagree."

"Where is Sam anyway?"

"Uh… I uh… I let him sleep some more. He's been having bad dreams since his girlfriend died." Joce frowned and cocked her head.

"How?"

"You ever hear how my mom died?" Joce nodded, "Yeah same exact way."

"Oh my god… it sounds like this thing is after Sam."

"What?"

"Well you know both the deaths occurred while he was there, and well… blood is a very powerful thing, it's all about the blood. I mean every ritual in the world, well the most powerful ones; involve some type of blood sacrifice. People are anointed with blood in some ceremonies. My bet is that Sammy-boy there has something that Thing wants, and being anointed by the blood of the mother brings whatever it is to the surface and killing them ensures that whatever the Demon got stays." Joce explained as she finished her cigarette and munched on a dounut.

"Jesus…" Dean muttered, "We tell him nothing of this, he doesn't need to know." Joce raised an eyebrow.

"Aye, aye Captain, whatever you say but I'm telling you that decision is going to come back and bite you in the ass later on."

"Yeah well most of mine have, I'm used to it."

"Well… should we go see Alex without Sam?" Joce asked as she drained the rest of her coffee and stretched. Dean sighed.

"I don't really want to leave him alone but it would be a good idea to go now. Sam might get a little frustrated if she babbled."

"Understandable, a person could go insane being there."

The drive had been subdued and quiet. Neither spoke very much and Joce fiddled with the radio before sighing loudly and turned it off.

"I hate this country shit." She grumbled, "Whatever happened to good music?" she asked. Dean didn't answer as the pulled up to a small hospital.

* * *

Inside Joce lead the way to the Psyche Ward, where a smiling orderly let them in. 

"She's in her room; I'll be back in a minute. Oh! You'll be happy to hear that she's able to walk now… its so unusual considering Dr. Smith thought that she would never walk again… hm… well I guess some people are just lucky… like that delicious Orlando Bloom…"

It seemed all too soon that the kind orderly was coaxing a gaunt, pale-faced youth in. She looked to be a bit younger then Sam. She moved with a sort of grace and swayed slightly to music no one but she could hear. As she got closer Dean could pick up her humming but could decipher what exactly she was humming. Her hair was long and curly, a tangled mess of dark brown that fell to her waist. Her eyes were haunting green with only a little brown in them. She was about five inches shorted then Joce and petit. In her nightgown she looked like a lost child as she sat down and stared intently at Dean. He shifted uncomfortably under her intense gaze.

"Alex." Joce said with emotion heavy in her voice.

"Excellent specimen doctor." Alex said as she continued to stare at Dean, "The music won't stop and God has been a bit testy these days... he won't talk to me. And I think the bird might be dead also. There's more then one match for you but you'll find the ace in the joker." She said to Joce, who for the first time since Dean had laid eyes on her, looked anxious and distraught. Under the table he slipped his hand around hers and gave a squeeze. Joce's eyes darted to him and she gave a tired smile and mouthed 'thanks' while squeezing his hand back.

"Alex?" Joce prodded, "Alex, I need you to tell what happened that night." Alex turned vacant eyes to Joce.

"A monster." She said solemnly. "It came from the woods, too fast… too-too-too-too-too-." She began to rock back and forth and then a shrill keening noise erupted from her. The orderly stood up from where he sat and his hand dove into his pocket before extracting a needle.

"Alex…" Joce mumbled then stood suddenly and left.

* * *

Dean found Joce huddled on the floor a few yards away from the Psyche Ward. Her knees were drawn up close to her with her arms wrapped around them and her face buried in them. Her shoulders shook as she sobbed silently. He could feel his heart wretch slightly. Damn, his father warned him to be careful, and now he was starting to actual feel something other then lust for Joce. He crouched down in front of her, "Joce?" Joce's head jerked up and her hand shot out and stopped mere millimeters from his face. 

"Dean?" Oh man, he was in for it if her heartbroken voice could do this to him.

"Oh… darlin' come here." He said as she fell into his arms.

They were driving back to the motel when Joce turned to him suddenly, "I'm sorry." She blurted out. She had spoken since she had said his name back at the hospital. When she had finally calmed down she had shoved him away and dashed down the hall. By the time he had caught up with her she was standing near the car and staring out into the woods, a hard look on her face. He took the moment at the stoplight to turn to her.

"For what?"

"For…" she took a deep breathe, "for acting like that at the hospital… It's just that Alex wasn't trained at all so it hit her pretty hard, she's only twenty, and I kind of took her under my wing… it's hard seeing her so…"

"Insane?" Dean tossed out and then immediately winced at his choice of words. "Sorry… I shouldn't have said that." He muttered. Joce sighed heavily.

"No, but you're right."

"No I'm not. She's not insane just… broken." Joce gave him a sad smile. "And don't be sorry… if that was Sammy in there I wouldn't be functioning."

"You love him a lot, don't you?"

"No." Dean said entirely too quickly. He sighed, "He's my little brother… and if you're right about that thing then I need to protect him." Joce nodded, "and if I failed I don't think I could take the guilt."

"You won't fail." Joce said with a large amount of certainty.

"And how do you know?" Dean shot back.

"Because you won't allow yourself to." Joce fell silent and Dean turned his eyes back to the deserted road and eased up on the brake as the light turned green.

When they got back Sam was pacing the room looking agitated. "Where were you guys?" Sam asked as Dean and Joce trooped into the room. They exchanged a look and Dean spoke up.

"We went to see if we could get anything out of Alex but… well there's nothing to go on." Sam nodded and sat down hard on the bed. There was a loud beep and Joce jumped.

"Oh. Hold on a moment…" she pulled out a cell phone and looked at it. "Faith will be here by night fall with…" her eyes went wide, "oh shit."

"What?" the boys asked in unison.

"She's bringing Illyria."

* * *

"So let me get this straight she's bringing Illyria because the demon must be so bad that you would need help from Illyria." Sam asked from where he was using his laptop. 

"There's no other explanation for it…" Joce murmured as she paced back and forth. Joce sat down hard, "How much time do we have?"

"A few hours."

"I'm going to go insane waiting here in this room." Joce said and leapt up. "I'm going outside."

"I'll go with you." Dean said and Sam jerked his head up and glared at Dean suspiciously. "Whatever it is may attack in the daylight. And it would probably do it if you were alone."

"I'm fine Dean." Dean shook his head.

"I'm going whether you like it or not."

"Fine, let me grab some things from my room." As soon as Joce had closed the door Sam turned to Dean.

"You like her, don't you?" He accused.

"No. I just don't want this Faith getting pissed at me. Oh and I think she should come with us… you know we should bring her into the fold now that dad is no longer willing to do anything… she would be a powerful ally."

"Don't even try to hide behind that flimsy excuse. You like Joce, you want to do more then get into her pants, _un-friggin'-believable…_ and you want to bring her along because you want to get into her pants more then once..."

"That's not true Sammy, she-."

"_Damnit Dean, just shut up and admit it!"_ Sam hissed at him. Dean took a step back, shocked that his brother would say something like that.

"I'm going outside, and I'm going to pretend that this conversation never happened. When I come back inside you will be in a better mood. Watch some cartoons if you have to." Dean said as he slowly backed out of the door.

"Oh before you go. Fine. She's can tag along as long as she doesn't slow us down."

"Fine!" Sam waited a few minutes after Dean left to punch a wall. He loathed himself but he found Joce to be very attractive, after all she was the exact opposite of Jess. He prayed the attraction would go away because he loved Jess too much to forget about her.

* * *

"What do you think it is?" Joce asked Dean, they had been watching the sun makes its slow descent as they drank beers and talked about life in general. There had been a lull in conversations, each secretly enjoying the others company when Joce had said it suddenly. 

"Dunno… Wendigo maybe… but I highly doubt it. Profile doesn't fit…" Joce frowned.

"If it weren't for the bite marks and that fact that I haven't sensed it I would say werewolf… and vampires aren't that fast… though they are that vicious. Maybe a Gnarl… no… no… there was only one of them… hmmm flaying… angry witch maybe? Nah…" Joce's voice trailed off.

"My money is on a wild thing… it can't be civilized…"

"Who said it couldn't? Spike is civilized and we all know what he's done. Gah! I've seen illustrations… not pretty…" Dean smirked into his beer. Joce stood.

"Well I have a feeling that when Faith said sunset she actually meant later. She's been known to say she'll be at a certain place at two in the afternoon and not show up until two in the morning. She's been a slayer for so long that she forgets about the daylight sometimes." Dean shook his head.

"Understandable… I've been hunting for so long with my father that I don't think I could have a normal life… I don't know how Sammy did it… I don't know how he could settle down with such a normal girl… let alone settle down period when he knows the dangers of not telling someone." Joce smirked at him.

"With an attitude like that Faith would want to jump you… if she didn't have Robin." Dean's eyebrow rose up on his forehead, "Robin is a guy."

"Oh."

"Willow is the lesbian of our group." Dean choked on his beer and Joce smirked at him. "You are such a typical guy; I bet if I flashed you, you would faint."

"Would not. But I wouldn't recommend trying it… you never know what kind of peeping toms are about." Joce gave a rich laugh.

"Yeah okay… because I really believe you…"

"No! It's true! Also Sam gave his consent." Dean said in an attempt to distract her from the conversation.

"You're just saying that to distract me."

"No he really did…" Joce just shook her head and as she did a car came careening down the road. It was a 2005 cherry red Mustang. It stopped with a jolt and gravel sprayed everywhere. The car purred off and Faith bounced out of the driver's seat.

"Damn that car is enough to make me to just want to urh!" she said with an obscene jerk of her hips. "What Blue? My drivin' makes you a lil' green?" Faith laughed at her own joke as Illyria glared and got out of the passenger seat.

"It was enjoyable but I believe the White Haired Half-Breed is sick in the back. I shall like to capture my own Mustang." She said as she glided to Joce, "Slayer of Half-breeds." She said and then turned to a shell-shocked Dean, "And her Consort. You desire her body now… shall we let you leave before we brief you to rid arousal?" she asked Joce and Dean while cocking her head in an unnatural manner.

"I-I… I'm not aroused! Nor am I her consort!" Dean denied.

"I wouldn't deny it Pretty Boy; she can smell it on you, as can I…" Spike mumbled through a cigarette as he stepped out of car. "Fancy bit of drivin' you did back there Pet… bit impressed meself… considerin' I've been drivin' since the first car." He continued as he swaggered up to Joce. "Luv… I missed you." He said as he stopped in front of her. Dean could feel his heart sinking; _she was dating this guy?_ Joce crossed her arms in front of her and glared at him.

"So says the guy who I haven't seen in months."

"Aww… Luv… you know I had a miss-."

"For fuck's sake Spike! What do you expect! You disappear for nearly eight months, leaving me to worry about you; I mean what if you had been staked? I don't want to lose what I consider my brother." Joce said as she pulled a startled Spike into a tight hug. Dean jerked slightly, wait _brother?_

"Sorry Luv…" he mumbled into her hair. Joce pulls away.

"Damn right you should be!" Joce turned to Faith. "Do you know what it is?"

"Nope, but we've got work to do anyway, and I suggest we go hunting." Faith said as she went to the open trunk. From inside she pulled a shotgun out and cocked it. "Illyria you're with Joce, you guys will go to the east, Spike and I will go to the West." Sam stepped out of their room with his own shotgun.

"Whom do I go with?" he asked. Faith looked up a let a slow smile roll over her face.

"You're with me, Pretty Boy you're with Blue and Josie." Joce pranced to the trunk.

"Oooh! New weapons! What did you bring me?" Faith held up a gleaming sword. Its blade had intricate designs twining their way up to the tip. There were glowing gems set in the handle. Joce squealed happily.

"_The Killing Frost? You actually trust me with this?"_

"Don't give me a reason not to." Faith said, and then pulled the _Scythe_ out. "My precious baby…" she purred and took a soft cloth to the blade

Later inside their room Dean and Sam watched as Joce suited up for combat. She had disappeared into her room and had come out in tight leather pants, a simple tank top, and over that she wore a beaten up biker jacket. Neither Dean nor Sam had ever prepared for a hunt like this. They watched as Joce pulled out a Glock, checked the magazine and shoved it in a shoulder holster; she also had a 9mm. She slung the shotgun across her back and strapped the Killing Frost and a double-headed axe to her waist. Dean admired her for the second time that day as she bent a shoved a stake and a dagger into her boots. And as Dean openly did was what natural to him, Sam tried to look anywhere but at her. He was relieved when she straightened and grinned at them. 

"Ready?" she asked as she picked up the crossbow. Sam and Dean exchanged looks.

"Do we even know what it is?" Sam asked and then added, "Isn't that a little excessive?"

"Nothing is too excessive." Joce said as she loaded a bolt, "And no I have no clue what it is… for all we know it could just be a normal human…"

* * *

Dean watched Joce, who was in front of him, stalk through the woods. She was quick and silent as she flitted through shadows and melted into them. 

"Perhaps it would be wise to use the human as bait." Illyria said from behind him. Dean shot her an annoyed look and the God-King gave him a withering glare. "You dare to attempt to intimidate me? Perhaps I shall keep you as a pet." Joce had stiffened about twenty feet in front of them. She discarded her cigarette and reached for her sword. Dean started to step toward her but Illyria stopped him with an arm across his chest.

It was a blur of motion that attacked Joce. She managed to roll out of the way and spring to her feet. Dean stared incredulously at the slight and fragile looking form. Illyria cocked her head.

"_A human?"_ she said aloud. Joce was staring at the thing with intent. She raised the crossbow and shot but it dodged the bolt and snarled angrily. Joce raised her sword to the onslaught of the… well Dean wasn't quite sure of what it was but it was something strong. She lost her sword in the ensuing skirmish. She managed to grab her dagger and fling it after she rolled away from a blow that could have crippled her. The dagger gave a loud thunk, as it was buried hilt deep in a tree. The thing was all over the place, flitting into shadows or moving too fast for them to identify what it was. It hopped into the trees and dived into bushes. Joce finally stopped and whipped the shotgun out at the same time as Dean. Since it was no longer moving or slipping in shadows both could see it clearly.

"_Alex?"_ Joce whispered. Her shotgun started to lower to the ground but Illyria had quickly dropkicked the girl to the ground and pressed a pressure point harshly. Alex hadn't a chance against the ancient god-king. She lay there unmoving.

"That is not the one you called Alex. Something has taken over her body." Illyria said bluntly, "It would be a blessing to snap her neck. Her mind is only half there."

"Then what's causing all of this trouble?" Dean asked as he strode over to Joce. Her hand grabbed his and though he was slightly startled he squeezed back.

"I know not but it is heading for us right now."

The three of them turned to see a sickly looking creature stop at the edge of the clearing. Its skin was taut and had a grayish cast to it. Over its skin was a fine, thin coat of fur, not that anyone could tell. Its eyes were the color of egg yolk, and it wore only a scrap of clothe around its waist. It could have been human but if it was, it was many years ago. It made a snarling noise and Dean felt himself unconsciously step back. Its twisted body looked like it was failing as it walked slowly towards them.

"This creature is no longer a threat to us, the damage Alex inflicted upon it has made it weak. It is weary of this world. Shall I snap its neck?" Illyria asked. Joce went to nod but caught Dean shaking his head.

"No. I'll kill it." Dean pulled out his 9mm with silver bullets. It looked a hell of a lot like a werewolf without all the hair and some features were twisted versions of both wolf and human. He aimed and pulled the trigger. The recoil was minimal and the bang echoed in the forest. The grey figure crashed to the ground and lay there twitching a moment before stilling. Joce let out a pent up breath.

"What the fuck was that?" she asked aloud.

"Dunno… looks like some twisted, mutated version of a werewolf." Dean commented as he stood straddling the body. "Just to make sure." He said as he pointed the gun at its head, both of his hands wrapped tightly around it. He emptied the rest of the clip first into its head, and then into its heart. Blood and brain matter spattered everywhere as the head was decimated. Joce flinched for each shot that rang out into the night.

* * *

Alex lay in a bed, having awoken to angrily claw at anyone. Fortunately Illyria managed to sedate her, and she now rested peacefully. Joce was leaning over Faith's right shoulder as she talked to Giles through a web-cam. Giles was polishing his glasses thoroughly as Faith told him what Joce, Dean, and Illyria had seen. 

"It sounds like a possession but I'm not quite sure…"

"I've got it." Sam said suddenly. All eyes turned to him and he flushed, especially when Joce caught his eyes. "About twenty years ago when the yearly deaths started it happened. The first death occurred after the disappearance of a John Trellis. Apparently Trellis worked at the local zoo."

"Wait, _they have a zoo?_" Joce asked incredulously.

"**Had,** see Trellis was a keeper, and supposedly he murdered a child while in the wolf pen. But it was never proven; he got off. Then about a month after that he just mysteriously disappears. But often times in the year people, at random, are killed in the woods." Giles spoke from the computer.

"Ah… I see it now… an animal possession occurred, much like what happened to Xander several years ago with a hyena. In order for a true possession to happen a sacrifice had to be made. So this Trellis fellow did so… the only problem was that he couldn't control the wolf. So he fled to the woods to live as an animal. I doubt that he was anymore human then a vampire in the end."

"I resent that Watcher." Spike said from where he was tying up Alex.

"I would like to study his body if that is all possible." Giles said while dutifully ignoring the petulant vampire.

"Yeah, G-man figured you would. I'm sending Illyria and Spike back with the body."

"And yourself, Jocelyn, and Alexis?"

"We're sending Alexis back but Faith wants to finish the town vampires. And I'm heading on with Dean and Sam." Joce said. "I figure I can keep these reckless Winchester Boys alive, if that's alright with you."

"Yes it is perfectly fine. I was going to suggest having Slayers just travel through the US. Will Alexis be alright?"

"I don't think so… she's not quite there…" Joce admitted.

"Ah… transfer of possession. Much like… well never mind that." Giles paused for a moment, mentally going through his checklist before continuing. "Well then… I'll see you in two days time Spike, Jocelyn take care and good luck."

"Bye Giles." The screen went black and Faith stood up.

"Well best get packin' for Alex."

"Actually I already did…" Joce admitted sheepishly.

"Oh?" Faith asked with a raise of her eyebrow, "Eager to get rid of us already? Cuz girly I gotta tell you I'm staying for another week."

"Yeah, well we're not. Let's get the bloody hell out of here…" Spike said, he picked up Alex's bag and slung Alex over his shoulder. "Bye Pet, and for god's sake get shagged." He whispered as he leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. Joce shoved him away. Illyria told her that it was honor to make battle with her once more, picked up Alex's weapons trunk, and left.

And then they were gone with a spray of gravel.

"So." Joce said, as she turned backed to Dean and Sam. "Where to next?"

* * *

A/N: well that's the second chapter... new and improved-ish. I didn't change as much because I liked this chapter better than the first… 


	3. Something Blue

Title: Stricken

Chapter: Something Blue

Summery: so Joce finally teams up with Sam and Dean. She also gets snogged by our favorite boy; oh did I mention Stubby the Blue Caveman?

Disclaimer: While I own Joce and Alex, well kind of, _Supernatural_ and _Buffy: the Vampire Slayer_ are owned by their respective owners. "Half-Jack" is the creation of _Amanda Palmer_ and _Brian Viglione_ of _the Dresden Dolls. David Lettermen,_ I too own not.

Spoiler: "Chosen" for_ B:TVS_ and "Dead in the Water" and up to current episodes for _Supernatural_.

Dedication: to anyone reading this, to Tarryn the inspiration for Alex and half the funny lines, and to Nikki who is the partial muse of Joce.

* * *

Joce jerked awake at a warbled version of _Half-Jack_, it was her cell phone she dimly realized. 

"'lo?" she asked groggily. In the front Dean glanced in the rearview mirror and gave her a smirk. She flipped him off.

"Josie! Finally, do you know how fucking annoying it is trying to reach you?"

"Nope."

"Who is it?" Dean mouthed. Joce lowered the mouthpiece away from her mouth and said softly, "Faith." Dean gave a nod and turned his attention back to the dark road.

"So how is your boy?"

"Hmm?"

"That delicious piece of 20-something that got all hot and bothered around you, and hated Spike for two point five minutes until he realized you and Spike weren't together."

"Fine." Joce gritted out. Dean's eyebrows shot up in the mirror and Joce took a moment to light a cigarette. She listened to the static over the phone and Sam's quiet mumbles. "Is there a reason why you called?"

"Alex is getting better."

"Oh? How so?"

"Well… she's not flipping out anymore… or doing that creepy broken record thing."

"Good."

"Joce?"

"Hmmm?"

"Smoking kills."

"Cute Faith… real fucking cute. Look I've gotta go."

"Oh? Are you going to ride your cowboy?" Faith asked lightly. Joce started to cough on the smoke and she shook her head at a concerned looking Dean.

"'m fine…" she croaked out. "Faith I'm hanging up. Don't call for another eight hours."

"Whoa… don't wear the poor boy out with your stamina… although I'm sure he'll be able to keep up…"

"Faith, I'm hanging up now." She closed the phone and stretched. "Want me to drive for a bit."

"No, this is my car. The last time I trusted someone to drive it; they ended up driving it into a house." Joce raised an eyebrow, "It was a white woman."

"The driver?" Joce asked, clearly confused.

"No that was Sam." Joce gave a laugh.

"I can't believe you allowed him to drive but you won't let me." Dean shot a glare at her.

"I don't allow him to drive anymore." Joce rolled her eyes.

Sam suddenly shot upright, "Jessica!" he gasped out. Dean and Joce exchanged worried looks.

"How about we stop for the night… I'm pretty beat and I don't trust either of you maniacs to drive my car." Dean said.

"Yeah. Good idea… I have to do some hunting. I've been still for far too long, and I feel the need to prowl around the graveyards and make stupid puns and in general piss off vampires who could quite possibly kill me. But after that the real test will be laid down."

"What's the test?" Sam asked curiously. Joce smirked.

"Slaying makes Slayers double-H'd."

"And that means?"

"Hungry and horny." Sam's shots a look at a suddenly twitchy Dean as he himself fidgets. Dean cleared his throat.

"Okay, who wants to be a Rackham? There's a Jack and Jill Rackham, and a Joe Rackham." Dean said after he flipped open the glove compartment and retrieved the fake IDs, they had only had time to make Joce a couple of important ones. He eased the Impala into the parking lot of the motel as he flipped through them. Surprisingly he drove with his knees.

"I do not want to be a Rackham." Sam said as he looked at the various IDs. "I want to be something either unmemorable or too hard to pronounce."

"Hmm… I've got a Carl Smith…" Dean murmured. Sam took the ID and looked at it.

"Yeah sure… I'm assuming you two will be Jack and Jill." He muttered bitterly as he got out of the car. Joce leaned forward and snatched her ID.

"Hmm, not too shabby." Joce murmured, "You know you could make a fortune making fake IDs for underage kids." Joce commented as Dean admired his own handy-work. She turned look at him and noted that if she were to tilt her head a little to the right it would be perfect for kissing.

She did so and Dean started to lean slowly, giving her ample time to pull away. His beautiful hazel eyes searched her face for any sign of disgust, finding none he closed the distance between them and kissed her gently.

Joce knew that people always said that went you got a true kiss it was fireworks. For her it was like the Fourth of July combined with Christmas combined with any other firework worthy holiday. Her stomach wasn't just doing flips; it was doing aerials, flip-flops, flips, cartwheels, and dangerous air acrobatics. His lips were soft against hers but still had an edge. With this one kiss she was coming undone at the seams.

He was deepening it, his right hand cupping her jaw and cheek, his left tangled in her hair. She thought she was dying and going to heaven. She couldn't remember the last time she had been kissed with such voracity, with passion, without the normal hesitation. No ones ever kissed her like this, she was always someone to be feared, and when she wasn't there was too much strength in her for a normal man to be comfortable.

"Hey guys, I already checked in so- oh come on!" Sam said as he reached the open car. Dean and Joce jerked away from each other guiltily. Dean swore softly under his breath and Joce flushed and stumbled out of the car.

"I-I-I… I had better… uhm… go and kill things." She said nervously and took off. Dean cursed loudly.

"Joce!" he shouted as he propelled himself out of the car and started to dash after her, "Joce! Please stop for a minute and-." A hand on the collar of his coat stopped his from going further. He jerked backward and nearly fell. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he snarled out to Sam.

"Dude, just give her some time. She's probably freaked out. I mean Slayers are supposedly solitary people, no friends, no family, and certainly no lovers. And now she finds herself out of that situation and then thrown back in. I mean she likes you, for what reason I don't know, but she knows it dangerous to have someone to love. The damage and pain it could cause. She's just freaked out; she needs some time to think."

"Yeah whatever college boy." Dean muttered angrily and stalked to the front desk.

Inside he gets a flash of inspiration. "Hi, I'd like a room."

"Do you have any ID?" the clerk asked. He was a bored looking twenty year old.

"Yep." The clerk studied the ID and deemed it worthy.

"Alright, room 23, Mr. Rackham."

"Oh, and my wife went to pick up something from the store but she should be back in a few minutes. Can you tell her that we're in room 23?" Dean asked, he knew it was dangerous saying that Joce was his wife rather then his sister, but since they looked nothing alike he could convince her if she balked and got pissed at him.

"Sure."

"Thanks."

* * *

Joce fought off tears of frustration as she beat the shit out a vamp. How could she be so stupid? She couldn't fall in like, never mind love, with Dean. That kind of move would only get him killed. A voice in the back of her mind reminded her that Dean wasn't some ordinary guy. But he wasn't as strong as her; he was a lot more fragile, she argued. But, the voice reminded her; did she really want someone who was as strong as her? Who would try and hold her back, to protect her? Did she really want a guy who wouldn't die as easily as she could? Joce shook the questions off as a hard fist came crashing down. 

Her knees buckle and she crashes to the ground and rolls away as another heavy fist comes down. It's some kind of Neanderthal looking demon; all long arms and heavy, overhanging forehead. It's blue and scaly.

"Great… peachy _fucking_ keen." Joce mutters as she stands. "Can we hold off on the big showdown? I don't exactly have any weapons." Its only response was the smash a heavy fist against her face and growl menacingly.

She feels funny, sort of disconnected as she spins and falls heavily to the ground. At the moment she's shocked, the pain will come later when she's alone. As she lies groaning on the ground something sharp digs into her hip. A flash of elation jolts through her and she pulls the small gun from where she stowed it earlier.

"_Die, bitch!"_ she growls and empties the bullets into the creature. It growls angrily and stumbles away. However it doesn't fall to the ground twitching, like she would rather it would, but it stumbles away and disappears from sight.

"What the fuck?" she questioned aloud.

Joce stumbles to the motel. Her side aches persistently where the vampire took a swipe at her. Her jaw and cheek throbs in such away she's afraid it might just fall off. There's some blood on her forehead and the cheek the demon hit has a cut. She wishes for a mirror so she could make herself presentable so the clerk won't ask any questions but it's impossible.

The clerk is watching _David Lettermen_ when she strolls in. He looks up and starts slightly. His brown eyes widen with shock but he immediately becomes impassive.

"Want some towels and ice?" he asks.

"That would be nice." He hands her some black towels and a small bag of ice.

"You should be able to find a first aid kit under the sink in your room, Mrs. Rackham is it?" he asks. Joce nods, she knew Dean would pull something like this. "Alright, your husband should be awake; he's been calling every half hour asking if I've seen you." Joce gave a chuckle.

"Well… Jack can be such a worrier, he's afraid that he'll lose me, his mother died young."

"Ah, I see." His hand was slowly inching towards the phone.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you. The mugger is a lot worse off." Joce threw out, hoping he would understand.

"Oh. Well if you're sure." Good, this boy is in the know of their ways.

"I'm sure."

"Room 23 then."

Joce attempted to be quiet about it. But it was kind of hard when every part of her body ached. Dean had obviously been pacing the room and was standing in front of the phone when she came in. He whipped around and stood still for a moment. 

"_Jesus,_ what the hell the happened to you?" Joce rolled her shoulders and winced before rolling her head and cracking her neck.

"Demon, Neanderthal looking thing, blue and scaly, we didn't really hit it off well. Well he did but I didn't." Joce collapsed onto the bed and grunted in pain.

"Come on, let's go to the bathroom and get you cleaned up." Dean said wearily, the anger that had been in his voice before had disappeared.

* * *

Joce sat patiently on the toilet as Dean examined the bruise on her cheek and jaw. 

"He got you pretty good. What was he invisible or something?" Dean asked as he gently wiped the blood from the cut away and applied butterfly bandages.

"No. I was just thinking." She growled out. Who was he to ridicule her? He shoved the ice into her hand.

"What were you thinking? Running off with no weapons? I mean god Joce, I have to admit you scared me." She lowered her eyes before gazing up at him.

"I had my gun."

"Doesn't matter, you should have grabbed a knife."

"Damnit, I don't need a lecture, I've been doing this for 17 years. I think-."

"_Joce you could have died!"_ Joce jerked back and stared at Dean. "You could have died." He said quietly.

"Is that what this about?" Joce asked. "I've lived longer then most Slayers would. I've been lucky so far. If I died tonight it would only be right-."

"No it wouldn't, you don't deserve to die just because you've lived longer. It only means you're stronger then they were." Dean cuts in.

"So? Every slayer has a death wish. The older they get the guiltier they get about being alive when they shouldn't. So then they end up getting killed by some reckless decision." Dean jerked slightly. And Joce stood up to shove him aside but before she could he spoke.

"So you're telling me you want to die."

"No I'm just saying that-."

"Someday you're just going to allow yourself to get killed."

"No, that's not what I meant, you're twisting my words. What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you so pissed at me?"

"I'm pissed because you're refusing to talk about the real issue."

"And what's that?" Joce shot back. Dean stepped closer to her, wrapped an arm around her waist, and hauled her into a kiss. Joce melted into him. Her knees buckled and to prevent her from collapsing Dean tightened the arm around her waist. Joce drew back with a cry of pain.

"What's wrong?"

"My side, fucking fledge with the wickedest nails I've ever seen. Nearly cut me in half."

"Yowch let me take a look." Joce stepped back and Dean knelt and examined the scratches. "They're deep, but I don't think you'll need stitches. This is good because who knows what kind of questions the hospital would ask." Joce nodded.

Joce was lying on the bed when Dean stepped out of the bathroom. He had patched her up and then shooed her out so he could get the grime of the past two days off of him. He wore one towel around his waist and was drying his hair with another.

"How are the cuts?" he asked as he flopped down on the bed.

"Fine, get off the bed; you're dripping all over the place." Joce said while attempting to not look at him. She had taken once glance and knew if she kept looking at him she would be a goner. Instead of complying Dean merely got even more comfortable. Joce went to shove him off the bed but Dean grabbed her wrist and hauled her so she was half laying on him. She swallowed heavily as he grinned up at her. She licked her suddenly dry lips.

"Dean…" she mumbled. She could feel his heart beat steadily in his chest under her hand. His skin was warm and inviting. It was then she made her decision. "Dean please don't. Not now…"

"What? I don't… why?"

"We can't. Please."

"Fine. I'll sleep on the floor." For some reason when Joce made the decision she thought of Sam. Pairing off wouldn't be good because then Sam would be alone.

* * *

Sam grumbled as he walked to Dean's room with three cups of coffee. He hadn't slept all night and it was starting to bother him. He wondered if Joce and Dean had made up or if they had only pissed each other off some more. He hoped they hadn't made up, but then felt a jolt of guilt. He shouldn't be lusting after another woman. Not when Jessica had only been dead of a handful of months. But even then he tried to listen; no matter how hard he tried to listen into their room he hadn't heard a thing. The door was unlocked and he pushed it open. 

Dean was lying on his stomach and the sheets were bunched down to his waist. Sam could see his brother tense a little bit and his hand was slowly slipping under the pillow.

"Morning sunshine." Sam mocked and Dean rolled over.

"Why the hell are you up so fucking early?"

"Where's Joce?" Sam said, knowing that countering Dean's question with a question would annoy him.

"In the shower." Dean said brightly. "I think I'll join her."

"What?" Sam yelped. Jealousy coursed through his veins and he quickly brushed it off.

"I'm kidding Sammy; we didn't screw if that's what you think."

"Oh." There was a long pause, "But you did make up right?"

"Sorta… we didn't do anything though. She was injured." Dean admitted as he climbed out of bed. Sam grimaced and handed Dean a cup of coffee.

* * *

Joce stepped out of the shower as her phone rang; quickly wringing out her hair and throwing it up into a clip she picks it up. 

"Hello?"

"I gave you eight hours exactly, now spill." Joce sighs and rolls her eyes.

"Fine, after I got off the phone with you I gave him Road Head." Joce said sarcastically.

"Don't fuck with me Josie; you're going to get my hopes up someday." Faith bantered back, "But seriously, I want to know if my little girl is no longer my little girl."

"That didn't make any sense."

"Of course it didn't, I'm an escaped convict, and while I lack the Hook that doesn't mean I won't try."

"Faith…" Joce warned, "Did you have any coffee or sugar this morning?"

"Of course."

"Ugh… great. As if I don't have to deal with Dean and Sam hyped up on coffee and sugar…"

"Spill already! I'm sick of getting weird looks." Faith said, "Oh! Chocolate cake! Well hello, you are definitely coming home to be devoured by B."

"Are you shopping?"

"Yep, and this cake is gonna get it tonight!" Faith said as she dumped the cake into the cart and went to find something healthier. "Buffy broke up with her boy-toy."

"Ah, I see…"

"So please give me something to make her happy. Contribute to the Save the Faith Fund."

"That's it; I'm having Giles cut down on your sugar intake."

"Hey! You will not! And stop trying to change the subject!"

"Fine, fine… so I was checking out a fake ID he had given me and then we kissed…"

"Yes! Yes! Finally!" Faith shouted and other customers in the store looked at her, "get a move on! Can't a girl get excited about her vegetables?"

"I freaked though and bolted, I mean you've met the younger slayers who had Watchers, I was never supposed to have someone like him so I went and got my ass kicked by some blue demon."

"And?" Faith prodded.

"I went back to the motel and Dean patched me up and started to yell at me and then hauled me into a fucking amazing kiss."

"Uh-huh…"

"But a vamp got me with the wickedest nails I've ever seen so I ended up pulling away and getting a lecture as he patched me up again. Then he went and took a shower and came out wearing nothing but a towel-."

"Is he as fine undressed as he is dressed?"

"Better. Anyway I went to shove him off the bed and he grabbed my wrist and hauled me on top of him-."

"Oh my god! You finally got laid! How was it?"

"We didn't screw, Faith."

"Damn."

"We didn't do anything after that though. I didn't want to."

"But you like him, right? Or maybe you like Sammy-boy, who is a delicious babe anyway."

"Yeah-."

"And you will have sex within the next few days."

"What? No-."

"Oh you will, you may not think it but something will happen and you will jump him, or vice versa. Anyway I've got to go and console Buffy and give her all the juicy details."

"But there's nothing to tell her."

"So?"

"Faith!"

"Don't worry I won't embellish… _much._" There was a click as Faith hung up and Joce stared at her phone in disbelief.

* * *

As Joce stepped out of the bathroom, now clad in a pair of ripped jeans, tank top, and a shredded red dress shirt (she always meant to ditch it but it was so damn useful), Dean's phone rang. 

"Hello… Jerry? Oh Jerry!" Joce ignored the caller, figuring some kegger buddy Dean had unwittingly given the number to, or some chick's (the aforementioned chick being one Dean had in more vulgar terms then seduced, bent over an end-table, or maybe just a table, ew… moving on), brother/boyfriend. Joce pulled on her ass-kicker boots; never her go-go-slay a vampire boots, and decided what would be more useful for the second round against _Stubby the Blue Caveman._ Okay so she wasn't very inventive, or maybe too inventive, with names but who could blame her she was after all made for killing not spouting off poetry with thous and arts.

"Sword, troll-hammer, or the double-headed axe?" she asked Sam who was becoming the poster child for the reason to take sleeping pills as he was starting to fall asleep.

"Huh? Whoa! Point those somewhere else!" he yelped. Dean looked up from where he was taking notes with a Sharpie on a motel towel. He shook his head and continued.

"Which one?"

"The pointy one?"

"Um… hate to break it to you Sammy, but two are pointy."

"Um… the axe…" he suggested slowly.

"Great!" Joce said cheerily and retrieved a machete. Dean clicked the phone shut.

"And just where do you think you're going?" He asked as she opened the door.

"Figured I'd get my vengeance in early, you know, so I have more time for fun things like blowing up something."

"And that means?" Sam butted in.

"The demon, yea high, blue, stupid caveman look." Joce explained and then stole a Glock from Dean.

"It's daylight." Dean pointed out.

"Well I never said that I would be walking around town with this stuff, give me a little credit here, I'll take the sewers, check the crypts, you know the normal hideouts, which reminds me that I'll have to go to warehouses also."

"Can you accomplish that in only a few hours?" Dean asked.

"Well… no…"

"Leave it then."

"What?"

"I got a call from a guy Dad and I helped out a couple of years back, he needs help again. We're going."

"But-."

"I'm sure the demon isn't out for blood."

"Yeah right." Joce said angrily, "I'll be back with its carcass in an hour." She growled out before stomping out.

* * *

Fifty-seven minutes and thirty-four seconds later Joce plopped down the head of a particularly ugly, and yes Neanderthal looking demon, on the table. Dean and Sam stared at it. 

"_Bring me the Head of John the Baptist,_ so said some guy." Joce said cheerfully. "Isn't it ugly?" She asked. Sam swallowed.

"That's a demons head." He said thickly.

"Yeah well I said I would bring back it's carcass but I figured that it would be easier toting around the head, since I could use it as an excuse. But a whole body, now that brings all sorts of suspicion."

"That's a demons head." Sam repeated.

"Well yeah, I thought we went through this already."

"Joce, we've never actually kept the head of anything we've killed… mainly because most of everything we've killed hasn't been corporeal. So you've got to understand its kind of shocking to see a head of a demon just sitting there." Dean explained.

"Well, what about the Wendigo?"

"Well we didn't exactly cut off its head."

"We lit it on fire." Sam put in.

"Oh. Well I suppose I should give this to that guy at the front desk."

"Why would you give him the head of a demon?" Dean asked.

"Because he looked bored." Joce called as she pranced out.

"She's fucking crazy." Dean muttered.

"But that's why you like her, she livens things up."

"Maybe, but then again it could be because she's such a babe." Sam rolled his eyes as Dean threw clothing into his bag, not bothering to fold it or sort through it at all.

* * *

A/N: Yet another edited chapter. Although there is very little that I changed but with the tenth chapter going the way it does these other chapters need to really build up to the idea I had. It's awesome, you'll love it… or hate it. 


	4. TKO

Title: Stricken

Chapter: TKO

Summery: Joce has a bizarre dream, Sam exorcises his first demon (maybe?), and Dean panics like a girly man.

Disclaimer: I own Joce and Alex… well sort of. _Supernatural_ and _Buffy: the Vampire Slayer_ are owned by their respective owners, Joss Whedon and Eric Kripke (I think). And _Le Tigre_ is owned by…who knows. Oh Starbucks, don't sue me, your drinks are good and I do not own them!

Spoilers: 'Chosen' for _B: TVS_ and from 'Pilot' and on for _Supernatural_.

Dedication: to the reviewers, to Tarryn, and to Nikki.

* * *

Joce flipped through her CDs and glanced at Dean. Her heart twisted painfully, it was all so clear to her now; Dean was used to wine, dine, 69, and she was too. They both had too complicated lives, pasts, and futures for it work. She was a Slayer who was likely to die young, he was a Hunter who was likely to live a hell of a lot longer then she was. He had at least some semblance of a future, and she? Well she was likely to be dead in a year. A shudder crawled up her spine at that thought. 

So she turned her attention back to Sam who had been acting odd around her for sometime. Sometimes she caught him looking at her, an expression she couldn't fathom in his eyes. There were times when he sat too close, leaned in too far, or seemed far too interested in her life. Other times he was as distant as the stars in the skies. When Dean wouldn't accompany her on her nightly prowls he would. And he would jump in like a night in shining armor. But why? Joce thought he might see something of Jessica in her, and for that she felt badly.

So she brushed the subject off her mind, rolled her shoulders, and went back to the CDs.

"You know you guys are so lucky you have me," she paused, "Well more like Sam is."

"How so?" Sam asked while turning in his seat to catch her eyes with his fathomless pair.

"Because I have music that is a lot more recent and less… head banger."

"Hey! I resent that!" Dean yelped from the front.

"And resemble… okay maybe not." Joce sighed and pulled out a CD and grinned widely. "Now this… this is wonderful. It's pure bliss, it's rapture… it's like… _an orgasm._" Dean glanced back at her.

"What the hell are you listening to?" he asked and then added, "And can I borrow it."

Sam meanwhile nearly chocked on his own saliva before coughing a couple of times and sending Joce a glare.

"God no, I do not want my music corrupted by your sexual acts."

"Hey who said it was for…" Dean paused and mentally went through the conversation in his head, "oh… fuck you." He remarked flippantly. Joce shook her head.

"Are you ever going to put in the CD?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, yeah, hold you horses… hehe… wishes are tiny ponies." Sam shot her a quizzical look and sighed.

"Sometimes I think you might be on something."

"Are you implying that I'm a whore?"

"What? No, where the hell did you get that idea?"

"Um… no clue. I think that **Starbucks Double-Shot** kicked in."

"How many did you have anyway?"

"Um… four?" Sam groaned in frustration.

"Are you kidding? One of them is enough to make me jittery." Joce laughed, and didn't stop laughing until the music came on.

"What the hell is this?" Dean asked, he sounded thoroughly confused.

"It's Le Tigre." Surprisingly it was Sam who answered. Joce stared at him.

"You listen to Le Tigre?"

"No, Jess did… she loved them."

"Oh, I can change it if you like…"

"Nah… it's good to hear the music she loved."

"But isn't it painful?"

"So? It helps me remember why I'm doing this, it helps me remember her."

"Oh."

"Wait… so you're saying that we're listening to this shitty music because it makes you think of your dead girlfriend." Dean scoffed from the front.

"You don't have to be a fucking asshole about it." Joce ground out.

"Whatever, look we're here."

* * *

"Thanks for coming down here so quickly." Jerry Panowski said as they walked to his office. "You know Sam, your father and Dean helped me out with a very nasty poltergeist a couple of years ago, nearly tore my house apart. I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for them. Your father spoke about you all the time, he's very proud of you." 

"Really?"

"Yes, really, I'm glad I finally got to meet you. By the way, where is your dad?" Joce watched Jerry for any signs that he might be messing with them but he seemed genuine.

She began to tune the conversation out until Jerry played the CD. The noise grated on her ears and she winced. She thought she could hear words but she couldn't be sure.

"I'm sorry but who are you?" Jerry asked. Joce jerked slightly. "John never mentioned having a daughter." Sam and Dean were caught up in a conversation on the other side of the room.

"Oh, I'm not John's daughter. I'm actually a hunter too, only different."

"Oh?"

"Yeah… I come from a very long line of Slayers. We cover corporeal and non-corporeal entities. I just met up with Dean and Sam last month."

"I'm sorry I haven't introduced myself properly. I'm Jerry Panowski."

"Joce Croft." They shook hands.

"Hey, Joce let's go." Sam said from the doorway.

"Huh?"

"We need to get to a _Copy Jack_…" Dean said as continued down the hall his voice trailed off. Sam shrugged.

"Nice meeting you Jerry." He said before leaving. Joce followed him with a short nod to Jerry.

* * *

"What do you think he's doing in there?" Joce asked Sam who shrugged. 

"Probably making you a fake ID."

"More?"

"What can I say, I come from a short line of scam artists."

"At least you'll never run out of money. And it's easier to get through all of this hassle."

"How did you get through all of 'this hassle'?"

"I have immunity."

"What do you mean?"

"The Watcher's Council is a very powerful organization. I get benefits." She flashed him a large grin just as Dean came out of _Copy Jack_.

Dean paused and assessed the situation with a tilt of his head. From his point of view it appeared that Joce and Sam were flirting. Joce had her head tilted slightly and a small smile graced her features. They stood close to each other. Dean snorted, yeah like they would ever hook up, Jess's death was too recent for Sam and Joce didn't seem like the type to go out with the kind of guy Sam was. Dean's thoughts immediately turned elsewhere when a pretty blonde with legs that stretched for miles walked by and gazed at him flirtatiously.

"Dean. Dean!" Sam shouts and Dean immediately snaps to attention, his muscle tense, and his eyes dart looking for danger. "Jeez, I swear to god if you were born in five years ago instead of 26 they would have you on ADHD medicine." Sam mutters. Meanwhile Dean's already tossed Joce her prize.

"_Are you fucking insane?"_ Joce hisses out. Sam snatches his own and his eyes widen.

"Dean, this is pretty illegal… even for us." Dean shots him a look and shoos him into the car.

They're huddled around Sam's laptop in the car. "What the hell is it saying?" Joce asks. She trying to keep her ears peeled while trying to keep them intact. It's not working and it's given her a headache.

"No survivors." Dean stats with a frown, "That doesn't make sense, there are seven survivors." A shrill ring jolts Joce from her self induced blank out. The ring continues on with _American Idiot_. Joce climbs out of the car.

"Hello?"

"Hey where are you guys?"

"Somewhere."

"You don't where you are?"

"I slept most of the way here."

"Oh… Joce… there's something I need to tell you." Joce can feel her heart shudder to a near stop. Her body grows cold.

"What? What happened?"

"You scheduled to do the **Cruciamentum** soon."

"No… no… I'm not ready! I-I… oh my god I think I'm having a panic attack." Joce can feel her limbs getting tingly and it's getting harder to breath. Black spots dance in front of her vision. She stumbles to a bench and lays her head between her knees. She's practically crying by now. _"Oh god… oh god…" _she mutters while Faith is snapping out orders to her.

"Joce! Calm done! Take deep breaths! Breath damnit!" For a moment the world goes black but Faith's shouting voice pulls her out of it. She panting now but the tingling in her limbs is residing and she can breath easier; the tightness in her chest easing with each cleansing breathe. Neither of them speaks for a while. "Joce you can do this." Faith says, and Joce knows that she's not talking about getting out of the panic attack.

"Faith… I don't know if I can."

"Joce… you have two more weeks with them. Less if I have to haul ass to find you and drive you back. Which I'm assuming will happen."

"Who will be watching?"

"I will." Joce breathed out a sigh.

"Yeah. Okay… see you in a week and a half?"

"Joce you can do this… I know you can." The line went dead and Joce heaved a sigh and sat up straight. Sam stood in front of her.

"Hey, I wasn't sure if you would need coaching through your attack."

"What-?" she was cut off by Sam.

"I had them. When I was little. I got over it but sometimes… they kick in again."

"Oh." She glanced at Dean who was impatiently drumming his fingers on the steering wheel.

"He didn't see." then Sam added quickly, "If that's what you're worried about."

"Oh."

"Do you wanna talk about it? He can wait a couple of more minutes anyway." Sam asks and sits down next to Joce. He takes her smaller hand into his own and waits for her to speak.

"Yes… and no…" Sam waits patiently for a moment, "Okay… I have to take this test… to make sure that I can survive as a Slayer… or something like that. It's a test they give all Slayers and it's… god it's scary Sam. I'm fucking scared witless." Joce crashes against him as she caves into fear and starts to cry again. Sam becomes wooden as she buries her face in his chest. He doesn't notice Dean's glare because now all he can notice is how Joce smells.

* * *

"Are you going to come with us?" Sam asked Joce quietly. They were about to interview Max Jaffey. 

"I… I don't know."

"Well this is a mental hospital… and I know Alex was in one for a while so…"

"I… I'm going to stay here."

"Are you sure you're alright? You're a little pale, do you want me to drive you to the motel?" Joce gave a little chuckle.

"Sam I'm fine, you don't have to drive me back to the motel. I just need to take a nap."

"If you're sure… Joce you know I'll be here when you need me, right?"

"I know Sam…"

"Good." He gives her hand a tight squeeze and follows an agitated Dean who shoots a look of lust in Joce's direction. Joce represses a shiver as they stare at each other and turns away when he does.

_She stood alone in a field. The field was barren and empty. Dead trees edged the clearing and the wheat around her was dry and dead. Suddenly it started to snow. The snow covered the ground quickly in a thick blanket. Joce could feel the cold seep into her bones. She's wearing a long, virginal white nightgown and her feet are bare. She twirled around, knowing instinctively that something was watching her but she didn't know what. And when she twisted on final time Alex stood in front of her._

_She stood pale and slender. Her lips were redder then the reddest blood and twisted in a smirk. Her eyes greener then Joce had ever seen and glittered mockingly. Her long hair was unbound and fell in tangled ringlets. She was dressed in only a long, black nightgown but seemed warmer than Joce._

"_She will come soon." Alex murmurs, "She will come and a choice will be made. The path you walk is unclear and you will have trouble. But we, we have much faith in you. You will navigate the maze, and we, we will teach you much." Joce felt her numb knees give out and she collapsed into the snow shivering. It suddenly began to snow harder and it swirled around them, cloaking them from the world. Joce could feel herself being drawn into Alex's eyes. She could feel the pull of something and she's falling… falling… falling…_

"Joce? Joce? Wake up!" Joce's eyes shot open and her head cracked into Dean's. Both yelped in pain and Dean stumbled away grumbling. As he rubbed his head he spoke, "What were you dreaming about? I've been trying to wake you up for the past five minutes." Joce could feel the cold still but now it sank in deeper.

A Slayer Dream, and she had no clue what it was about.

"Hello? Earth to Joce…" Dean said while snapping his fingers in front of her face.

"Sorry… I guess I'm pretty tired."

"Yeah you look like it." Dean murmured as he bent in closer, "You need to sleep more." He stroked her face gently with one finger and Joce found herself lost in his hazel eyes.

"Dean…" she murmured and bent closer to him. But he pulled away suddenly.

"Erm… sorry. Okay… well anyway Sam says we need suits."

"Why?"

"If we're going to play the part we need the gear."

"Uh-huh… wait when did we get here?"

"Sam thought we shouldn't wake you up until we got here."

"Right…"

* * *

Sam and Joce stepped out of the store. Sam decked in a suit that seemed _Constantine_-ish with a side of _Men In Black_. Joce was wearing a pinstripe suit that was tailored to her, okay not exactly tailored to her since they didn't have the time but pretty close. Dean reluctantly followed, "Man, I look like one of the Blues Brothers…" he grumbled. 

"No you don't," Sam said as he surveyed his older brother, "you look more like a 7th grader at his first dance."

"I hate this thing!" Dean shouts and a couple down the street turned to look at them.

"Well, do you want to enter that warehouse or not?" Joce said as she thoughtfully unbuttoned a couple of buttons. "Should I pull a Madonna?" And at Sam's quick shake of his head, and noticed lingering of his gaze, she buttoned the buttons, "And that would be a no…"

* * *

"What did you find?" Joce asked as Sam and Dean leaned over a door. 

"Sulphur… I think…" Sam said quietly. "Let's leave." He looks down at her and cocks his head as he meets her eyes. Joce is standing between the brothers and feels the brush of their bodies as they all stand staring at the door. Dean's seems almost bigger although it's Sam who is the taller one. Sam bends to collect a sample and Joce admires how graceful he is. When he turns back she is the one who is caught staring. She quickly averts her eyes and looks up into Dean's face. He smirks at her.

"Yeah… yeah we should…" Joce breathes out. As they walked outside they hear an alarm.

"Oh shit!" Sam curses loudly and they stumble to a gate. Joce immediately jumps it and Sam and Dean use their jackets to avoid the barbed wire.

"Hey these things can come in handy." Dean remarks. "And I bet a look dashing in it, don't I? Winchester, Dean Winchester." He purrs to Joce who flushes.

"Sulphur? Are you sure?" Joce asked as she leaned in to peak through the microscope.

"It's a demon alright." Dean's jaw is working furiously. "But I don't know why it would possess a plane passenger, in fact why would it take down a plane in the first place?" he sighs and rubs his eyes.

"Alright, well Jerry we are going to head back to the motel to think about this…" Sam trailed off as Jerry shooed them out.

* * *

Its hours later and they still can't find a solution. Sam and Joce both listened to Dean tensely as he speaks with Amanda. 

"Think he can pull it off?" Joce whispered to Sam.

"Dunno, maybe… **it is** **_Dean _**after all." A few seconds later Dean hangs up the phone.

"Damn it! So close!" he rages.

"Alright, so it's time for plan B, we're getting on that plane." Joce says at the same time as Sam, they grin at each other.

"Whoa, just hold on a second."

"Dean, that plane is leaving with over a hundred passengers on board and if we're right, that plane is going to crash."

"I know." The brother's eyes meet and a neither of them speak for a moment.

"Okay, we're getting on that plane and we need to find that demon and exorcize it." Joce inputs from beside Sam. He nods.

"Alright, I'll get the tickets, you guys get anything from the trunk that might be useful. Be back in five minutes," he pauses but Dean doesn't move. Joce is already halfway towards the door and she pauses but doesn't go back, let them have a moment. Sam finally speaks, "Are you okay?"

"No, not really…" Dean mumbles and looks uncomfortable.

"Why? What's wrong?"

"Well, I kinda have this problem with, um…" Dean trails off and then mimics the taking off motion of a plane.

"_Flying?"_ Sam sounds a bit incredulous about this new fact. After all, Dean is supposed to be the fearless one.

"It's never been an issue until now…" Dean trails off again.

"You're joking, right?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Dean asks in a freaked out tone. "Why do you think I drive everywhere Sam?"

"Alright I'll go."

"What?"

"I'll do this one on my own, with Joce." He adds on.

"Are you nuts? You said it yourself, the plane's gonna crash."

"Look Dean, we can do it together or I can do this one with only Joce. I'm not really seeing a third option here."

"C'mon! Really? Man…" Dean groans in frustration and spins toward the door. "See you in five minutes." He says flippantly over his shoulder and walks outside.

Outside Dean takes a deep calming breath. Joce is coming back carrying their dad's journal, a couple of bottles of holy water, and Dean's homemade EMF meter. She looks visibly upset.

"You okay?" they ask each other at the same time.

"Yeah." Dean responds while Joce hesitates.

"I hate flying, it's not that I'm afraid to die or anything. And it's not the fact that we're in a tiny metal tube that has no right to be able to lift into the air let alone fly 2,000 feet in the air. Or the fact that anything can go wrong on a plane… it's that I always get fucking sick after I get on one, and I hate the fucking ear-popping thing." Dean looks a little green now. Joce taking no note of this continues,

"I mean this thing weighs like tons and it's expected to resist the pull of gravity, I mean the reason why birds can fly is because they are so light weight. Oh and the fact that I can't bring any of my weapons on, especially since this is a commercial flight is making me more on edge. Like what if the guy, or girl, that's possessed… well what if we can't get them unpossessed. What do we do then? Kill them? I'm sorry but I can't take a life. Oh my god, what if we can't figure out who it is. Oh crap… this will suck if this is our last hour alive. Hey you're looking a little peaked, are you sure you're alright?" Dean stumbles away and dry heaves into a bush. He pulls away looking only slightly better.

"I'm afraid… of flying." He explains. Joce looks sheepish for a moment.

"Hey, good news… you're more likely to get struck by lightening!" Dean groans and still looking green grabs his bag.

In the plane Joce sits by the window, Sam next to her and then Dean as far as he can get away from the window. He takes out the safety pamphlet and turns it upside down.

"Hey, just try and relax." Sam says quietly.

"Just try and shut up." Dean snaps. A few minutes pass and Joce leans forward.

"Are you humming Metallica?" she asks Dean who freezes before answering defensively.

"It calms me down." The minutes pass as Sam and Dean have a short conversation on who could be possessed before they deduce that it must be Amanda; Joce pipes up and mocks them with, "Brilliant deduction Samlock. Ah well… elementary my Dear Deanson, elementary." The brothers glared at her a Joce immediately shuts her mouth.

"What if she's the one that's possessed?" Sam says after turning back to Dean and their important conversation.

"There's ways to test that. I brought holy water," and Dean pulls out the bottle and gives it a shake.

"No!" Sam says, grabs the bottle, and hides it. "I think we can go more subtle. If she's possessed, she'll flinch at the name of God."

"Hmm, nice!" Dean says happily and stands up.

"Hey!"

"What?"

"Say it in Latin." Sam says quietly.

"I know," Dean says and turns to move to the back of the plane.

"Hey!"

"What?" Dean turns around and looks thoroughly annoyed

"Um, in Latin, it's Christo."

"Dude, I know, I'm not an idiot!" Dean retorts before going towards Amanda.

For once in his lifetime Dean is uncomfortable talking to a woman. He doesn't know what to say so he babbles about how it calms him down to walk around on a plane because he hates flying. She tells him that she too is a nervous flyer. Finally this is break he's been awaiting. He's worked up the courage to say it. "Christo."

"I'm sorry, did you say something?" She asks him.

"Christo?" He questions tentatively, unsure if she heard him the first time.

"I…I didn't…"

"Yeah, nothing, never mind."

Dean is half relieved and half pissed that the possessed person isn't Amanda. Sam is practically bouncing in his seat with pent up excitement when he returns. "It isn't her, she isn't possessed."

Joce curses loudly. "Shit! That means it could be anyone!" At the end of her sentence turbulence hit and shook the plane quite violently.

"C'mon! That can't be normal!" Dean exclaims in a panicked tone.

"Hey, hey, it's just a little turbulence." Sam says in a calming voice.

"Sam, this plane is going to crash, okay? So quit treating me like I'm a freaking fool."

"You need to calm down."

"Well I'm sorry, I can't."

"Yes you can." Sam replied in a highly camp-leader/psychiatrist voice.

"Dude, stop the touchy-feely, self-help yoga crap, because it's not helping." Dean is practically foaming at the mouth; he does not look pleased at all.

"Dean, you're panicked. You're wide open to demonic possession so you need to calm yourself down right now." Sam's damn insistent and Dean finally begins to calm with exhaling and inhaling deep breaths. "Good!"

They were running out of time, they needed to find out who was possessed. Therefore Dean opted to break out his EMF meter and walk through the airplane. There's no response. A hand drops down on his shoulder and he jumps slightly. It's only Sam.

"I haven't found anything."

"Damn it, there's only thirteen minutes left… maybe we missed someone?"

"Maybe the thing is just not on the plane?"

"You believe that?"

"Well, I will if you will…" Dean winces as a cacophony of beeps ring in his ears. The EMF meter is picking up something; he looks up and sees the co-pilot coming out of the bathroom. The word drops from his mouth as he stares half-stunned at the man, "Christo…" the co-pilot sneers and his eyes go jet black before he turns and goes back inside the cockpit.

* * *

"Is she going to help?" Joce asks as she stands to face Sam. 

"Yeah, she was little apprehensive but… well we told her everything so she'll do it now."

"Good, I really don't think it would be fitting of Slayer to die in such an ordinary way…"

"Alright, let's do it."

Joce can feel the fear build up in her throat. She doesn't want to die. But she's not afraid of that. She's afraid of the demon. She's never seen a possession. She stands in a corner, nervous and fidgeting. Sam stands next to her.

"You alright?" He says.

"I think I'm going to pass out." Sam doesn't speak but slips his hand over hers and gives a small squeeze. Their eyes meet and something passes between them. Joce quickly turns her head away.

"I promise you, we're not going to die." There's a barest flicker of a smile as she turns back to him.

"Don't make promises you can't keep." She whispers to him. Sam bites his lip in silent laughter and Joce grins up at him.

"Both of you shut up, he's coming." Dean snaps from behind the curtain. As soon as the co-pilot steps inside he lays one on him. Immediately Dean is on him, holding him down as he used tape to gag him. "A little help here." He grunts out pointedly. Joce falls to her knees and grabs the struggling man. The three glance at each other and give nods. Holy water is poured onto the man chest and there is a reaction. That's when Amanda starts to panic.

"Don't let anyone in." Sam reminds her.

"Sam, get a move on, pour on some more." Dean warns him about the time and Sam pours more holy water on and begins the incantation. The seconds tick by and the co-pilot somehow manages to get free during a short bout of turbulence but with the help of Joce, Dean pushed him down once more and Sam continued. A few moments later the demon/man seizes an opportunity where Joce leaves for a moment to shove Dean away.

He grabs Sam's collar and yanks him down. "I know what happened to your girlfriend. She must have died screaming. Even now she's burning." He chuckles out. For the third time Dean lunges and pins the demon down.

"Dude, keep on reading!" Dean hisses as the co-pilot bucks and attempts to upset Dean's grip. Sam drops the journal and goes to help Dean with the struggling demon. The demons foot catches the journal.

Joce jumps as the journal skids past. But before she can move the plane begins to drop. "Oh shit!" she curses loudly and lunges into the curtained area. Dean is giving into panic and Sam pushes past her in an attempt to go after the journal. "Damn it, Dean! Snap out of it!" she hisses but he's still freaking out and muttering about how he'll never get a piece of ass in heaven because he sure as hell isn't going there. She grabs Dean's face in both of her hands and does the only thing she knows that will keep his mind off dying: a kiss. Even as she's kissing Dean she can hear the sound of lightening striking the plane.

Slowly she pulls away. Dean's mouth is slightly parted and his eyes are closed. A completely relaxed look is fixed on his face. Joce laughs softly.

"Wow, I should patent this… a new way for people to be relaxed while flying… think of the money." Dean's eyes snap open.

"Pool hustling is easier." He says automatically.

"Don't forget the credit card fraud."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Don't play innocent with me Dean Winchester."

"Darling, if anything I am far from innocent." He said while grinning lasciviously. Joce threw back her head and laughed.

* * *

They were finally on the ground. Joce had holed up in the car feigning exhaustion to avoid anyone and everyone. But the truth is she just doesn't want to deal with anything at the moment. The whole day had been draining and she wishes she could sleep forever. She turns her head to see Dean and Sam watch the co-pilot being interrogated. Amanda turns to see them and mouths a _'thank you'_. 

Outside the car Dean turns to Sam.

"Are you okay?"

"Dean, it knew about Jessica." Sam answers with anguish clear in his voice.

"Sam, these things. They read minds; they lie. That's all it was."

"I can't thank you guys enough. Your father would be so proud of you." Jerry says as he escorts the trio to their car. Dean pauses as he gets into the car.

"Hey how did you get my number anyway? I just changed it six months ago."

"Your dad gave it to me."

"What?" Sam asks.

"When did you talk to him?" Dean inputs.

"I didn't exactly talk to him, but I called his number, his voice mail said to give you a call." Jerry explains, "Well anyway I've got to get back to work. It was nice meeting you Joce, Sam. Good to see you again Dean." Jerry went back inside and Dean pulled out his cell phone as Sam piped up.

"That doesn't make any sense, man. I called that number like 50 times. It's been out of service." Sam leaned in as it continued to ring before picking up to the voice mail.

"_This is John Winchester. I can't be reached. If this is an emergency, call my son Dean: 866 907 3235, he can help."_ Sam goes to the car immediately.

"You alright?" Joce asks him sleepily.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Dean gets into the car. The engine turns over and roars to life. Then they are gone in a cloud of dust.

* * *

A/N: my, my, when I went through the spell and grammar check on this chapter I was shocked by the number of errors I had. I have definitely gotten better at noticing those kinds of things. I also am using my baby, which is a very old computer (Windows 98!) so it's pretty nifty to look through this and find all of these mistakes. Incase anyone didn't notice there are things that I put in some chapters that don't necessarily gel with the other chapters so I'm trying to make everything gel together and work fluidly so I can look back and not get annoyed. I think it's one of the reasons why I haven't gotten many readers or something… 


	5. Lover I Don't Have to Love

Title: Stricken

Author: TigerTiger02

Chapter Title: Lover I Don't Have to Love

Summery: Joce has a horrible dream, she dances with Sam, Dean ponders, Faith yells, Kennedy god we all hate her now, and oh Joce is monotonous.

Disclaimer: I own Joce and Alex, Supernatural and B:TVS are own by their respective creators. Bottom line? Don't sue me please.

Spoilers: 'Chosen' for BTVS and anything from 'Dead in the Water' to the current episode for Supernatural.

Dedication: to Tarryn, who has been waiting for this, and to any readers and reviewers!

* * *

_Joce kicked frantically at the vampire who held her by her throat. Her fingernails dug into his hands and wrists to no avail. She could feel herself becoming sluggish and tired. The world was spotted black and she whimpered in pain. Suddenly she was tossed like a rag doll into the brick wall. She could feel bones breaking and she fell to the floor coughing up blood._

_Joce struggled up and cried out in pain as the vampire slammed a fist down. She lay on the floor panting and trying not to cry. The vampire lifted her up by the scruff of her neck and grinned at her with blood stained teeth._

_"Well, well, well… I guess you slayers aren't what you used to be." He growled out before punching her solidly. She went reeling into a couch and feel to the ground. She desperately began crawling away and fumbling towards her sword._

_However the vampire had other things in mind and he violently kicked her. She went sprawling onto her back and weakly went to her hands and knees. The vampire laughed wickedly and used her hair to pull upward. "Well Jocey darling, it has been a trip," he purred out before jerking her toward him and sinking his teeth in harshly._

She sat up sharply in the backseat of the Impala and gasped for air. Her hand went to her neck searching for puncture wounds. Finding none she slumped in relief. She wondered if this was a Slayer Dream, she hoped to god it wasn't, she didn't think she could take it if it was.

Outside darkness met her eyes and the scenery flashed by rapidly. Joce closed her eyes and sighed. Soon, soon she would be stuck in a house with a half-crazed vampire out for her blood, and she would be absolutely powerless. Scared didn't even begin to describe how she felt. She pulled her laptop toward her and plugged in her headphones.

The CD she choose was one that she loved every single song it, a rarity for her. She turned the volume as high as it would go and pressed played.

Dean sat tensely driving. For the past week since the plane incident neither Sam nor Joce had been sleeping well. Nightmares would wake them, Joce's seemed more violent then Sam's. She would sit up quickly gasping for air and clawing at her throat. But Sammy's… yeash he didn't even want to know what the poor kid was dreaming about. What he really wanted to know was the cause of Joce's. He sighed and scrubbed at his tired eyes.

He glanced at Joce in the rearview mirror. She looked pale and upset. Her hand was touching her throat again and a look of fear mixed with relief crossed her face. She closed her eyes and sighed loudly. He watched carefully as she pulled her laptop towards her and pulled a pair of headphones on. She must have put it up as high as she could because he could hear it easily, whatever it was. It sounded… odd to his ears. It was like soft rock but not. Next to him Sam bolted awake, eyes wild and hair mussed.

"Mornin' sunshine." Dean joked. Sam glared at him and turned in his seat.

"Hey! Joce!" Joce looked up and raised an eyebrow.

"M'yes?" she drawled out.

"Unplug the headphones." She unplugged the headphones just as a new song was starting up. An indescribable look crossed Sam's face. "I haven't heard this song in awhile."

"Lover I Don't Have To Love? It's one of my favorites. Dean, pull over."

"Why?"

"Just do it, this song is best heard with no interrupting noises." Dean pulled over quickly and she started the song over, turned up the volume, and leaned her head next to Sam's.

Joce sang the lyrics softly, "So it's up the stairs, And out of view. No prying eyes. I poured some wine. I asked your name; you asked the time." She met Sam's eyes and stared deep into them. That's when it hit Dean; she was doing this for comfort. Comfort for both her and Sam. They didn't speak and Joce stop singing and start humming. During the whole song their eyes didn't stray from each other's. And at one point Joce grasped Sam's hand tightly, then let is go.

"Okay, what the hell was that all about?" Dean asked as he started the car.

"Something that's helped me through some hard times." Joce answered and closed the laptop. They drove on.

* * *

"So… Toledo, Ohio. Why are we here again?" Sam asked. 

"Faith agreed to meet me here, then take me to Springfield, and Dean found something interesting in the paper."

"Why is Faith coming for you anyway?" Dean asked.

"There's some apocalypse or something coming up soon, they need me there." Joce was lying through her teeth. Sam glanced sharply at her and wondered why she wasn't telling the truth.

"Oh. Sounds… dangerous." Dean commented nonchalantly. Sam, however, frowned and tilted his head, eyeing her through narrowed eyes as if he couldn't quite figure out why she would lie, which he can't.

"Yeah… end of the world happen much?" Sam asked. Joce nearly froze up. Instead she smiled slowly.

"Once a year, maybe twice. Depends. This is one of those prescheduled ones though." Joce gave a shrug and rolled her shoulders. Suddenly there was a frantic beeping of a horn from outside their motel room. Joce slung her bags over her shoulder and grinned. "That would be Faith, careful with this one." She whispered and roughly pulled a blushing Sam into a hug. The young brunette grinned at her, his jade eyes sparkling with mirth.

"We'll be fine, you though, try and save the world. It would suck if all of our hard work ended up all for nothing because you couldn't beat back the spawn of hell." Joce mimed punching him but laughed.

"Will do, Dean. Careful." She said as she pulled the older Winchester into a half-hug. And then she was gone. Dean ran a tired hand through his hair as he watched her clamor into the mustang.

"Think she'll be okay?" he asks Sam.

"She'll be fine." Sam responds, "However, we have some ass-kicking to do."

* * *

Joce sighs as Faith continues to prod her for information. 

"So, how did Dean react when you told him about the **Cruciamentum**?" Faith asks as she flicks the butt of her cigarette out of the window.

"I didn't tell him." Joce admits.

"Joce, that is a bad way to start off a relationship. Lying to him isn't going to help."

"Faith, Dean and I are not in a relationship. As much as I want to date him we both have dangerous jobs. I can't date him. And anyway I told Sam the truth and he's bound to spill to Dean." Faith sighed, and decided to pick one topic at a time.

"Joce, you can. Willow and Kennedy both have dangerous 'jobs' but they still love each other and date."

"Yeah, well take a look at Xander and Buffy, or what about Willow?"

"I just-."

"Willow still lost Tara. Xander lost Anya. And Buffy, she's lost Angel, Riley, and Spike."

"But they never _truly_ died."

"But she still lost them. Slaying rips lives apart. I can't… god I don't think I could stand to watch Dean walk away. Not if we were to get serious, not that we ever would get serious-."

"Joce, do me a favor and stop making excuses." Joce gawked at Faith. "Look I know it's hard, there's a lot of uncertainty. But you gotta trust your gut instincts. You like Dean; you want him like a whore wants dignity. So, no more excuses. Next time you're alone with him, jump him." Faith said, "Now, as for that other matter… why would you tell Sam and not Dean?"

"Because, Sam's level headed… he's someone I can talk to. I mean it's not like he doesn't get mad, because he does. I just knew he would take it better than Dean."

"Are you attracted to him?" Faith asked seriously.

"No, not at all." Joce replied, but she was uncertain.

"Okay… if you're sure… Now! Why don't you roll up that sleeve?" Faith took out a needle and carefully injected the serum into Joce. Joce winced but couldn't take her eyes off of the needle.

"How long?"

"Tomorrow night you should be completely drained."

"Great…"

"Joce you'll do fine. Spike will be watching with me so you've got two experienced people watching your back."

"Can't help but dread it, the kind of, what-if-I-fucking-fail-dread."

"You won't fail. And if you do, well you still have two more chances." Joce sighed and turned so she faced the window.

"Man, this stuff makes… you… really…" Joce couldn't complete the sentence as she fell asleep.

"Sorry Josie, but that's the way it goes. See you tomorrow night."

* * *

Joce groaned and rolled over before waking up. A pair of Faith's sat in a chair in front of her. Slowly the two Faiths merged together into one. 

"Good, how do you feel?"

"I… I don't feel completely normal…" Faith nodded slowly.

"Try lifting this weight." Faith said as she easily lifted a 100-pound weight. She set it on the floor and Joce attempted it but could barely lift it an inch.

"Oh god… so it's really happening then… isn't it?"

"Yeah… I know you're freaked and I hate to freak you out even more but… well Buffy needs me to be on the battlefield tonight… there's… she needs me." Joce gaped at her.

"But- I need you. More!" Faith shook her head.

"Sorry… B is freaked about this apocalyptic battle royale; I need to be there. Spike as well…" Joce sighed and buried her head in her hands before looking up.

"Yeah, I understand. No worries, right?" Faith smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, no worries."

Hours later, Joce doesn't know how many, she's alone in a decrepit house. She shivers with anticipation. She stays still and keeps her ears open but it's no use. The vampire knows exactly where she is, but she can't even hear it's soft footfalls. She looks into a mirror and nearly forgets that even if it was behind her she couldn't see it.

Her whole body is heavy and she feels so tired. The constant waiting has been maddening. Kennedy, who was supervising, had grated on her very last nerves. A shudder runs through her as something cold sweeps along her neck. She forgets all of her training and looks into the mirror. There's nothing, naturally, but she's too out of it to remember that. Then the cold is all around her neck, her eyes bulge frantically, and her hands claw.

_Her mind went blank._

All there was was frantic, mind-numbing fear. All there was was the instinct all people are born with. Cries ripped from her throat as she was released and thrown into a bookcase. As she lay there, half-unconscious, she knew that she should get up and continue. But everything hurts so much.

She pushed herself up. Even as pain radiated from everywhere she pushed on. The vampire had stalked away. She didn't know where he was but maybe her stupidity would come in use. The bookcase had shattered enough for a few crude stakes to be made. She stored them in pockets and went for a walk.

Moonlight filtered through the house and her anxiety grew. She heard a creak and turned swiftly but there was nothing. She let herself relax and realized too late that the creak had been a ruse. A bone-crushing blow sent her sprawling down the hall. She weakly pushed herself up and grunted in pain. Fuck, her arm felt broken, fuck… Even as she pushes herself up she knows the vamp is gone. But she had no idea where.

There was a rustling behind her and she turned. The large vampire stood there, he was fairly foaming at the mouth. Her natural instincts kick in and she begins to run. Her legs burn as she runs up stairs and into a room. A man dressed in tweed is in there.

_"Oh god… thank god… please… I can't…"_ she whispers as tears stream down her face, what the hell is wrong with her? She's never acted like this before.

"There… there…" he shushed her and pulled her close. Joce sniffled weakly and let her head be guided to rest on his shoulder. He rubs her back, the effect calming. Oh god… she couldn't feel a…

She jerked away with a cry and shoved the man away as hard as she could. Lucky for her the movement caught him off guard and he went down quickly. She staked him with a cry of outrage. That had been a watcher… what the hell was going on here? She shivered and rubbed her arms.

* * *

Kennedy is monitoring Joce's progress. Joce is older then her but Kennedy was freakin' there when Sunnydale literally went to hell, sometimes she really does love being Willow's girlfriend. She wonders at the Watcher-turned-Vampire but can't seem to find time to care. Joce has always been mouthy and outspoken, as well as overly bold, so in her mind she deserves to have to kill two vampires. And well it isn't exactly her fault that the Watcher had been stupid enough to sit down and have a chat with a vampire. 

She's so bored and Joce is clearly going to take her time about this. The girl has gone from tough badass to a freakin' girly girl in about two point five seconds. Kennedy glances at the watch. Well, if the girl is going to play hide and go seek most of the night Kennedy might as well get some coffee that doesn't taste like sludge-shit.

She switches off the monitor, grabs her coat, and leaves.

* * *

Faith whirls as another demon came behind her. The Scythe is fairly singing her hands tonight. It's a good slaughter, fifty slayers against twenty-five, make that twenty-four demons. She can feel her power coming to a roiling boil inside of her and she screams in sheer joy at the feeling. The Scythe is working faster and she feels like a kid a again, well not like a kid because she really doesn't think a kid would be running around killing demons, but damn well close enough.

* * *

Joce shrieks in pain as the vampire knocks her hard enough to daze her. The world fades to black in seconds. 

Minutes later her senses come slowly back to her. With a start she realizes she's tied to a chair. She wiggles and grunts in effort but the bonds won't come loose. Her eyes widen as she looks up into the yellow eyes of the vampire.

"Hello Dolly…" he purrs out.

She screams.

* * *

Inside a hotel room, Sam and Dean are trying to hash out the Bloody Mary Mystery. 

"The way Mary is choosing her victims, it seems like there's a pattern…" Sam murmurs

"I know, they're saying the same thing."

"With Mr. Shoemaker and Jill and Bryman…"

"Both had secrets where people died." Sam nods at this logic.

"Right. I mean there's local folklore about mirrors, that they reveal all your lies, all your secrets, that they're a true reflection of your soul, which is why it's bad luck to break them."

"Right, right…" Deans says as he stares at the computer screen, "Yeah, so maybe if you've got a secret, I mean like a really nasty one where someone died and Mary sees it and punishes you for it."

"Whether you're the one that summoned her or not."

"Take a look at this…" Dean says, showing him the screen. It's a picture of a woman, dead on the floor. Above her is a mirror with "_Tre_" written in blood.

* * *

Joce can feel the screams building in her but she wants to be brave. She refuses to scream, not for this sadistic fuck anyway. She bites her lip frantically but the blood only seems to incense him to try harder. A whimper spills from her lips as he presses the knife into her skin. Blood wells up after it and spills down. He begins to lick it reverently. Oh god, he's fucking licking her… its too intimate. Her mouth opens before her mind can warn her. 

"If you're going to kill me, spare the fucking drama!" she hisses. His gold eyes flick up to hers.

"Well it just wouldn't be fun that way," he murmurs as he backhands her. "Now… how about we move on to those pretty little legs of yours… by the way, what do you think of my artwork?" he asks and lifts her broken arm. Joce grits her teeth to keep the whimper of pain to spill out. However when her eyes catch the intricate designs a full blown-scream forces its way from her closed throat.

* * *

Faith is not sure on whether she's ready to drop or ready to party. The battle was a successful one, well that is if you had been on the slayers side. As she passes a coffee shop she decides that coffee would be excellent right now. There's a young brunette flirting with the shop-girl when she walks in. There is a murmur and a low laugh and Faith freezes. 

"Kennedy?" she grinds out. The brunette jumps and turns.

"Oh… Hi… Faith…" she says slowly.

"Kennedy, is Joce done with the Cruciamentum already?"

"Well… no…"

"No? Then why the hell are you here?"

"Well Joce was just playing hide and go seek with the vampire, I figured I'd have time for a coffee break before anything real happened." Kennedy shrugged nonchalantly.

"Are you fuckin' insane? There is a reason why someone has to monitor them, they could be killed even if they are 'playing hide and go seek'!" Faith mocks Kennedy and the younger slayer goes red with anger.

* * *

Joce is passed out by the time Faith breaks down the door. The vampire is adamantly feeding on her but Faith dispatches him quickly. This Cruciamentum is probably the most disastrous one in all time next to Buffy's. Kennedy watches in mild horror. Well, she'll get her comeuppance, the idiot. Faith hopes they strip her of being a slayer. 

The next evening Joce is conscious but silent in the Sick Ward of Slayer Central. She's patched up and an IV gives her nourishing blood. She can't sleep so she stares at the phone. Finally she picks it up, licks her lips, and dials a number shakily.

It rings a few times before finally someone picks up.

"Hello?" a sleep-roughened voice asks.

"Dean?"

"Joce, hey… how did it go?"

"We won."

"How are you?"

"Exhausted but… fine…"

"Good, so when is Faith dropping you off?"

"She isn't." Joce continues in the same dull tone.

"Oh, we have to go and pick you up?"

"No… I'm not coming back for a while. At least a week."

"Why?"

"They kind of need me here."

"Oh?"

"I'll call back in a week Dean. Give Sam my love." She said just before hanging up with a heavy heart.

"So are you just gonna lie to them?" Faith asked from the door.

"It's better that way. I need to take the Cruciamentum again anyway."

"No you don't. You passed, you killed a vampire without any help, supernatural or other."

"No I didn't, I killed a vampire, yes, but that's only because I caught him off guard. I didn't even know he was a vampire until nearly too late. And at any rate it wasn't even the right vampire."

"Joce, you killed a vampire that's all that matters to the Council."

"I… you're right…" Joce whispers. "I don't think I could go through that again… _oh god_… Faith… he… he made me into his fucking, living, breathing canvas… the bastard made _'artwork'_ on me." Joce's strong façade crumples and she begins to cry. Faith goes to her.

"Shh… I know… Joce… god… I know…" Faith says while gently stroking her tense and battered back.

_"I don't think I can stay strong anymore."_

"Then don't."

"I can't go back to them."

"Yes, you can."

"I'm so tired Faith."

"Do you want something to help you sleep?"

"No…"

Dean stares at the phone in his hand, why was Joce acting all weird? He shrugged and dropped it on a nightstand. Sam is staring at him.

"Well?"

"She says she'll call back in a week, they still need her there."

"How is she?" Sam's on edge, he's been having a horrible dream where Joce is tortured by a vampire, and he wondered if that is the test? If it was, his heart aches for her. That was no way to test girls.

"Fine, the battle went as it should, I guess. She really wasn't forthcoming with details."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, she sounded pretty tired at any rate."

"Yeah…" Sam said faintly and settled back into the bed.

* * *

A/N: Gugh… this chapter was easier to fix. Because I knew exactly what needed to be gone! 


	6. The Vow

Title: Stricken

Author: TigerTiger02

Chapter: The Vow

Summery: Kennedy's trial, and the Shifter.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Joce and Alex, ask me before borrowing them.

Spoilers: Chosen and Dead in the Water to current episodes.

Dedication: to Tarryn, whose opinion is much higher then anyone's.

* * *

Joce stood alone in the decrepit house that had been, just a week ago, the site of her torture. At night it's still sinister and there are bloodstains covering most available surface of the room. 

_Her blood._

A shiver crawls up her spine and she finally picks up a canister. She stares at the canister for a long moment before slowly dousing the room with the liquid. She strikes a match and her haunted eyes flicker with different emotions as the match lights them. Her eyes follow the match as she pauses in the doorway and flicks it towards the middle of the room. Instantly flames burst and spread. A tiny smile makes its way onto her face.

She walks away from the fire as the sounds of sirens near. If only it were that easy to destroy her pain.

Farther away from Joce, Faith watches with sad eyes. It never occurred to her that Joce would be one of the few Slayers to be completely damaged after the Cruciamentum. She was always strong and resilient. Faith's eyes dart to the burning house and her heart aches. Obviously this is a major setback, just as bad if not worse then Dana or Alex's. She sighs deeply and begins to make the trip back to Slayer Central. Kennedy is going on trial today and it won't be pretty.

Her thoughts run to Sam and Dean, would they be able to help Joce? What about Spike? Oh god… the way he had reacted. She highly doubted that Spike would be the one to pull Joce out of this funk. She turns her attention to the figure ahead of her. It's Angel's kid, what was his name? Oh yeah, Connor, the snot-nosed brat who had been trying to work up the courage to ask out Dawn.

"Connor!" She shouted and the boy jerked to a halt and spun before visibly relaxing.

"Hey Faith." He said quietly as he shoved his hands into his pockets. "Where've you been? Dad sent me to find you, you know the trial will start in twenty minutes."

"I know. I was trailing Joce." Connor nodded.

"What exactly happened, I don't see any marks on her, she looks fine."

"You of all people, Squirt, should know that just because you can't see it, it is there." Connor frowned, not quite understanding what Faith had meant. "It's the make-up she puts over them, she won't be healed bodily for at least a month or so, and even then she'll have scars, light ones, but still scars. Not to mention the mental scars." Connor's frown seems fixed in place.

"I hate that it happened to her, it shouldn't have been her. If Kennedy had been doing her job Joce wouldn't even be here now. She would be on the road with those Winchester guys."

"Jealous?"

"No… worried. You know how Joce can get…"

"I know." Faith pauses in front of the building they are about to enter.

"Nervous?"

"No… worried. I still don't understand how this happened. I mean she's always been a little… well like me… but I didn't think she could be so…"

"Disgusting about it?" Connor offered.

"No. So stupid and selfish."

"Willow hasn't been strict with her, nor Buffy. I've seen it." Faith frowns. "Poor Willow, she actually has to vote either against or for her girlfriend." Connor shakes his head and disappears inside. Faith glances out into the darkness, her eyes searching for the fragile 24 year-old. Joce is nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Dean rolls his eyes as Sam prattles on about his friend Zack who needed help. Frankly he could care less. Joce still hadn't called him- them- and he was getting… worried? Sure why not? His stomach rolls viciously when he thinks about what she might have gone through in that battle. He forces himself not to care; the only one he can afford to care about is Sammy. But even as he thinks this he can't help but hear the little voice in the back of his head reminding him that maybe it wouldn't be so bad to care about someone else.

* * *

Joce slips back into her bed in the hospital just as a nurse walks in. 

"Hey there! You've got a visitor!" the nurse says cheerfully and beckons someone in. Joce's heart nearly freezes and she hopes to every deity that she can think of that it is not Dean or Sam.

It's Alex.

The once thin and frail girl has filled out once more. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes hold clarity. Her hair is tied back in a neat braid.

"Joce." She says and takes a seat on the edge of the bed.

"Alex…" Joce is stunned; she wonders what happened to the slight girl.

"Willow can heal much." Alex says finally. "My mind is not what is was but it is a fair match. I'm sorry Joce." She says finally and touches where the still pink and healing scars run in an intricate pattern. Joce had never looked at them but Giles had said the vampire used to be an artist.

She closes her eyes and can almost feel the cold air on her naked body. The slick blood making it harder for the vampire to-

She snaps open her eyes while breathing harshly. Alex is giving her a knowing smile. They sit in dark, contemplative silence. Alex breaks it.

"When will you go back?"

"I don't know."

"I will go with you. If that settles your mind."

"It does." They both know that Joce is lying through her teeth.

"Good." Alex hops off the bed and takes Joce's hand. She slips something cold and hard into it before leaving with a grin.

Joce opens her hand to reveal pendant of twisted metal and a small piece of paper. _'For strength'_, is written in red ink on the paper in Alex's precise cursive.

* * *

Spike, Angel, Buffy, and Faith hand their votes to Giles. Everyone is silent as he tallies the pieces of paper up. Willow hasn't said a word. There is a momentary pause and he falters and stares at a piece of paper. His lips purse and he puts it in a separate pile. 

"11 counts of guilty and one count of not guilty." He finally says. There's a long moment. Then a loud clatter as Spike stands up, his chair falling to the floor startling everyone.

"You should be ashamed Red. Because of your idiot girlfriend's negligence Jocelyn could have died! One of the brightest and strongest slayers we have dead because you're girlfriend couldn't handle a simple task!" his voice is dead calm but his eyes are starting to flicker between golden-yellow and their perfect blue. Angel stands and places a calming hand on Spike's shoulder. However the bleached vampire will have none of it. He angrily shrugs off Angel's hand and clenches his fists hard enough so blood begins to drip on the pristine table.

"Kennedy is not an idiot!" Willow shrieked. "She doesn't deserve to have her powers stripped because of some inexperienced-." She cut off by Spike nearly leaping over the table to attack her. Thankfully Angel holds back the irate vampire.

"Spike. Watch your temper. I'm as angry as you are but we can't be killing anyone because of their stupidity." Willow huffed.

"That's so like you Angel, parading around pretending to be some noble, good vampire when we all know how evil you are. I can't believe you Buffy. Letting them back in because they tried to take down the Circle of the Black Thorne. Did you forget that they spent over a year at Wolfram and Hart?" she hissed angrily. Buffy and Faith both bristled, what the hell was wrong with Willow?

"Shut up." Dawn said calmly. "All of you, shut up." Twelve pairs of eyes fixed on her. "Joce almost died Willow. That's all that matters. She nearly died and was tortured to near insanity because of Kennedy's negligence. Kennedy must receive the punishment she deserves, and she must bear it. We all have to. It would be no different if Spike had screwed up or Faith or myself. It would be wrong to lessen the punishment because you have a soft spot. Soft spots are not of any use here. If you cannot objectively view this case or any other case, then leave. We have no place for a person who is bias." Dawn's eyes were nearly green when she finished, the Key in her showing through. "Can you or can you not abide by the laws we have set?" Willow bowed her head, shamed.

"I cannot." She finally said.

"Then please leave." Willow stood, shot everyone a glare, and disappeared with a pop. Dawn sighed and turned to the slayer who was posted there to keep peace.

"Please fetch Connor. We need to re-vote." The slayer nodded and left. Seconds later she came back with a pale Connor.

"Hey."

"Sit." Giles instructed. "Now, let us vote."

* * *

Kennedy walked weakly into the room; she was between two slayers, Rona and Vi. The once cocky slayer held herself with an air of defeat. She had been given the muscle relaxant, one much like the type used in the Cruciamentum but stronger. Giles stared down at her sadly. 

"We had much hope for you Kennedy, it saddens me that you so blatantly disregard out policies. Connor, the verdict." He stood up and glanced at the solemn faces around him.

"We the Jury find the Defendant: Slayer Kennedy… Guilty." He rattled off more technical terms before coming to her sentence. "We the Jury believe that the best course of action for this act is to strip Slayer Kennedy of all of her powers." He said. There was a buzz of noise as everyone turned to each other stunned. Giles nodded.

"Take her back to her cell. I shall inform the Coven. Dismissed." The weary elder man made his way to his "chambers". Upon entering it he rooted about for a few minutes before finding what he was looking for. A nice bottle of Scotch. Soon Spike joined him and they drank together.

* * *

Dean stares at the limp body of his double. It's more then a little freaky staring at himself, dead as a doornail. Which made him wonder how a doornail could be dead anyway. They weren't exactly alive in the first place. His eyes dart to his amulet and he plucks it off gingerly. For a brief moment he wondered how Joce would react to this. Probably freak out. He closes his eyes and think of Joce, remembering her features and the way her lips had felt against his so long ago. His mind flashes to what the Shifter had said before disappearing to find Sam. 

_"Oh Dean… you appreciate so little in your life."_

_"Shuddap." He had growled._

_"You know what I'm going to do after I'm done with Rebecca?" the Shifter asked as he crouched in front of a blank faced Dean._

_"Take a long walk off a short cliff?" Dean asks hopefully. The Shifter chuckled for a moment before backhanding him._

_"As much as I know you would love that I won't. See Dean, what you've failed to think about is Pretty Perfect Jocelyn." The Shifter closed his eyes and a smirk fell on his lips. He breathes deeply, as if inhaling Joce's perfume through sheer memory. He made a noise of pleasure. "Oh what I wouldn't give to feel that pliable, supple body against mine. She is just perfect, isn't she?" Dean refused to speak. However that did not deter the Shifter. "See, even though she's a Slayer, I doubt that she'll even notice that it's not me, I mean you. She'll be so happy I'm returning her affections that she'll simply melt under my touch. Oh I'll take my time with her. After all there will be no you or Sammy to stop me. No potential danger of getting caught._

_"I think I'll fuck her first. Just fuck her right into the mattress. Or maybe the car. Perhaps the floor. It really depends on my mood then. I'll fuck her until she can't stand. Then I'll tie her up… maybe from the ceiling. Or on the bed, and then I'll torture her. Oh her screams… they will be the best music I will have ever made. Then I'll fuck her again and again and again and-."_

_"Shut the hell up!" Dean growled out. The Shifter smiled gleefully at him._

_"I've touched a nerve haven't I? You are just too easy, man. You need to relax. Get laid. Well Dean, I've got a date with destiny. I'm off to find Sammy."_

Dean opened his eyes, his thoughts on Joce still. God… what if he hadn't succeeded? The Shifter would be on his way to find Joce. That filthy bastard touching Joce like that, taking her forcefully, and laying his dirty paws on her smooth skin, it made his stomach rebel. He felt confident that Joce would have known it wasn't him but the thought still made him sick.

"Hey." Sam's hand startles him.

"What?"

"She would've have taken him out before he could have done anything." Sam says with a grin.

"How did you know that Joce was his next target?"

"He liked the sound of your voice apparently. He thought his plan was perfect. Wrong. Joce would have known the second he walked up to her."

"How can you be so sure?" Sam shrugged.

"When you love someone, you know." Sam said in a wistful tone. Dean froze.

"Do you really think that?"

"Think what?"

"That she… uhm… you know…"

"Loves you?" Sam asked with a bitter laugh.

"Yeah…"

"Yeah. I do. I don't think she knows it yet." Sam shrugged again and went to comfort Rebecca.

* * *

Later in the car Dean decides to change the subject. Sam had been not-too-subtly steering the subject to Joce. 

"Sorry man." He says finally.

"About what?" Sam asks.

"I really wish things could be different, you know. I wish you could just be at your college." Sam doesn't speak for a moment. He's trying to find the right thing to say.

"No, it's ok. You know? Truth is, even at Stanford deep down, I never really fit in.," he admits.

"It's cause you're a freak." Dean points out with a grin.

"Yeah, thanks." Sam sounds slightly put out and wonders if Dean knows his secret.

"I'm a freak too. I'm right there with you all the way."

"Yeah I know you are." There's a moment of awkward affection between the brothers before Dean speaks again.

"You know, I've got to say I'm sorry I'm gonna miss it."

"Miss what?" Sam wonders if Dean is out of his mind, missing the Shifter? He certainly didn't.

"How many chances am I gonna have to see my own funeral?" There's a long pause and they burst into laughter.

As they drive on the sun drifts towards the horizon before finally setting and Dean glances at Sam who is fast asleep. He wanted to wait to call Joce. If she watches the news there's a slight chance he was on there and he doesn't want to worry her. He patiently waits as the phone rings. Finally someone answers.

"Hello?"

"Uhm… this is Dean Winchester, I'm calling for Joce."

"Oh! I'm sorry!" the cheerful voice answers. "Jocelyn is in with the healers now."

"What?"

"Well don't you know?"

"Know what?" Dean demands.

"Her _**Cruciamentum**_, it went terribly wrong."

"I'm sorry, Crew signs a mental yum?" The person chuckled.

"_**Cruciamentum**_ silly."

"Well what is it?"

"It's a test all Slayers have to go through after about three years. See their strength is sapped and they have to fight a vampire. Poor girl… the Watcher who was in charge of it got turned and then the Slayer who was watching just up and left. Poor Joce got knocked hard I guess and passed out. They said that vampire tortured her near the point of insanity. She was in an awful state when they bought her in. Nearly died… and the scars she'll likely have the rest of her life if the healers can't do nothin' 'bout it." Dean nearly lost control of the car but managed to pull it to the side of the road.

"I see," he said while barely controlling his voice.

"Yep. Well shall I-." He clicked the phone off. Sam was rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"What just happened?"

"How long do you think it will take to get to Illinois?" Dean asked, knowing that was where the phone call had come from.

"Where in Illinois? Dean what's going on?"

"Springfield."

"Dean?"

"It's Joce."

"A few hours if you drive fast."

* * *

While Dean nearly ran into Faith as he strode down the halls looking for Joce's room. Sam had stopped to interrogate someone he recognized from a picture Joce carried around with her. He thought her name was Dawn. 

"Dean? What the hell are you doing here?" Faith asked.

"Looking for Joce. How the hell could you have let that happen to her?" he ground out. Faith blinked.

"Who told you?"

"Some nurse." Faith nodded.

"I see… I wasn't the one her who was monitoring her. It was another Slayer. And don't worry, she's received her punishment."

"Good." Dean went to continue his search when Faith stopped him.

"Third door down on the left." Dean nodded and went to the said door. Slowly he opened it.

Joce was sitting in a bed; her gray-blue eyes were fixed on the snow outside. Dean let the door close with a soft click behind him. Joce started and turned. Her eyes went wide and her mouth formed a perfect 'o'.

"Dean… I…" He didn't say anything, rather sat down on the edge of her bed, much like Alex had, and took her hand in his.

"What have you gotten yourself into?" he asked, "why didn't you tell me?" His thumb stroked her knuckles gently. The small motion calmed Joce greatly.

"I was scared… it was stupid of me to not tell you guys." Dean nodded silently.

"It freaked me out, Joce. When that nurse told me I nearly had a car accident. It didn't help with what the Shifter told me."

"Shifter?" Joce questioned. Dean waved his hand.

"Not important." Neither spoke for a moment.

"You're cold." Joce finally said.

"So are you." they shared a small chuckle before falling silent once more. Finally Dean spoke.

"I was scared, a lot more then when you ran off the night before Jerry called. My heart just kind of stopped, and my blood felt like it froze, and I went numb." Dean admitted. Dean pulled her hand close to his face and met her eyes. He turned it over so her palm faced upward and placed a solemn kiss on her palm. Joce's eyes widened and she let out a little gasp.

Dean pulled her closer and kissed her arm, then her shoulder. Joce froze when he came to her neck and he dropped a light kiss on it. She relaxed when he pulled away. However he wasn't finished.

"_I vow to you, Jocelyn Croft, that I will never hurt you. Ever. And if I do so, even unwillingly, I will fall upon my knife. I will protect you to my last dying breath. I make this vow with all the seriousness I can possess and then some_." He took off one of his rings and placed it on her thumb, as it was too big to fit any other finger. "_I seal this vow with a valued possession of mine, and with a kiss_." Joce opened her mouth to protest but before she could speak his lips covered hers.

The kiss was deeply intense. It wasn't a porno kiss or a French kiss. It was a simple one, a passionate one. It sealed a bond that could not be broken.

Dean's hands cupped her face gently and Joce's fingers were wrought in his hair. Slowly they parted, both panting.

"Wow." Joce finally said, her whole body was filled with warmth and it tingled where Dean had touched her.

"You can say that again." Dean purred. He kicked off his boots and climbed under the covers, pulling her close. Their hands still clasped tightly together as Joce snuggled closer to him. She sighed as she felt the heat of his body, and the steady beat of his heart against her fingers.

"What exactly does this mean?" she asked and held up their entwined hand. Dean stared down gravely.

"It's a _vow_, an _oath_ that I will never leave your side." Joce frowned.

"This is-."

"Don't you dare say it's wrong or dangerous." Dean cut her off. "It's not. Now sleep." Joce nodded slowly and unconsciously curled closer to Dean.

Dean spent the rest of the night wondering what exactly had he done. Then he wondered how he was going to explain this to Sam, or worse, his father.

* * *

A/N: wow… forgot how sappy this ending was. Not much changed though. Since it gels. 


	7. Hook, Line, and Sinker

Title: Stricken

Author: TigerTiger02

Chapter: Hook, Line, and Sinker

Summery: In which Joce and Dean have many complicated conversations and Dean and Sam hunt the Hook Man.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but Joce and Alex, ask me before borrowing them.

Spoilers: _Chosen_ and _Dead in the Water_ to current episodes.

Dedication: to Tarryn, who has probably been secretly waiting for this chapter.

* * *

Joce is silent as a nurse rearranges a vase of violets and orchids on her nightstand, how Dean had known they were her favorite she couldn't guess. 

"You are one mighty lucky girl with a man like that fawnin' over you." the nurse declared. Joce gave a tight smile and stared down at her hand, Dean's heavy ring still adorned it. The aforementioned man strode into the room, flirtatiously winked at the nurse, and dropped a light kiss on Joce's cheek.

"Hey Babe." He said with a grin. The nurse winks at Joce and quietly slips out of the room. Dean insinuates himself as close as he possibly can to her and begins to speak again. "So Sammy was wondering if he could swing by." Joce blinked.

"Of course he can, it's so dull around here…" It's so odd, being in this weird half-relationship with Dean. They're almost Benefit Buddies, only he's bound to her forever. She will always be there in the back of his mind and owning a piece of his heart and soul even if he runs off and gets married. When she's in pain he'll know. When she's happy, he'll know. When she dies… well he doesn't know if he will along with her, but it does have a high possibility.

"Good, because here he comes to brighten your day!" Dean sang out. Sam rolled his eyes and set down a pile of books.

"I wasn't sure which ones you would like so I kind of broke into your apartment and then went to a bookstore."

"You have an apartment?" Dean asked, sounding hurt that he hadn't known.

"Yeah, I asked Sam to pick up some books for me. I didn't think he would go this far." Joce rolled her eyes at Sam who flushed.

"Sorry, but all of your books looked thoroughly read so I figured I would just buy you some new ones."

"Thanks Sammy, I'll pay you back-."

"Don't worry about it, think of it as a get-well gift." Joce grins.

"If you're sure."

"I'm sure, after all it was David Cross who generously contributed his credit card." The trio shares a laugh.

"You know a girl could get used to this kind of treatment, nice flowers, good books, cool protection ring." Joce shakes her head and when she's looking through the titles he picked up for her Sam shoots Dean a look. He jerks his head towards the door.

"Uhm… Joce?"

"Hmm-mm?" she murmurs not even looking up.

"I need to talk to Dean for a second, that okay?"

"Hmm-mm…"

"And I'm going to ask his opinion on whether or not those two hot nurses would want to have a threesome with me."

"Hmm-mm…"

"And then I'm going to sacrifice Dean to heathen gods for a better sex drive."

"Hmm-mm…"

"And then I'm going on a murderous spree… starting with puppies."

"Hmm-mm." Dean was staring at Sam like he was crazy and he ushered him into the hallway.

"What the hell was that?"

"I wanted to see her react to drastic random things if she had any. Obviously she's like me when it comes to books." Dean rolled his eyes.

"Okay so what did you want?"

"Protection ring, flowers? Dean **what** is going on? Is there something you left out when you told me what happened the night we came here?"

"Uhm… well you see… erm…"

"Dean. You didn't do something stupid and life risking did you?" Dean scoffs.

"Psh, no! Are you kidding me! Of course not!" Sam groans.

"Oh man… you did didn't you?"

"Dude I told you! I didn't."

"You did. I can't believe this! What did you do, Dean? What the hell were you thinking? Again, what did you do?"

"Made-an-unbreakable-vow-to-forever-protect-Joce-with-my-life-until-I-die-and-that-I'll-never-leave-her-side-ever. Basically-protect-her-with-my-last-dying-breath-kind-of-thing." Dean said in a rush.

_"You did what?"_ Sam asked incredulously. "Okay this is way worse then I thought."

"How is it way worse? How is it even bad?"

"Dean, she gets killed and you die. I think it's that way for both of you. This won't end in a happily ever after, it will end in tragedy."

"Do you always have to be such a pessimist?"

"Only when it pays to be one, I can't believe your stupidity. I-."

"Sammy. Shut up." Sam blinked.

"W-what?"

"Shut up. I know it wasn't the greatest idea but… Sam you should have seen her two nights ago. It hurt to see her like that." Sam sighed.

"Dean… how are you going to explain this to dad?"

"I won't. He doesn't need to know." Sam raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything.

"Well anyway I have a new lead on something." Dean nodded, his face closed off. Sam frowned and grasped Dean's shoulder. "Dean. She'll be fine. She's safe here. We've got a job to do." Dean sighed and rubbed his face tiredly.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Sam suddenly smiled.

"Are we having a chick flick moment?" Dean's eyes went wide.

"No. Bitch."

"Whatever, jerk. Look, I'm going to go gather some things up and do some more research. Say your goodbyes, we leave tomorrow morning." Dean raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, who's in charge here?" Sam rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry, you still get to drive." Dean glared at him and punched him on the shoulder.

"Damn straight."

Dean crept to the door and leaned against it. Content to watch Joce for now. She was no less pretty then the day he had met her. Sure there was a lot of bruising and the few scars he could actually see were still new and pink with tenderness, but there was this brightness to her. He couldn't quite explain it. She was biting her lips and furrowing her eyebrows. She had a deeply intense look on her face. She lips moved silently as she read. He crept over to her and dropped his hands on her shoulders. She jumped slightly but relaxed as he begins to knead them. She leaned into his touch and gave a low moan. He pauses for a moment, taking in the fact that so willingly leans into his touch.

"Mmm… don't stop," she mumbled as she opened her eyes. He gave a cocky grin, yep; he still had the magic touch.

Joce didn't want to have his hands leave her but she knew if she continued to let him touch her, as his hands were starting to roam lower, then she would give in. She pulled away and turned to him.

"So what did Sammy want?"

"I told him about… us." Dean said as he sat down. He took her hand into his and she relished the look of their hands clasped. His was larger, wide palmed and long fingered. Calluses were visible on the tanned skin and the nails were short and clean. Hers were small, slender palmed and long fingered. The pale skin was in sharp contrast, and her nails were long, clean, and painted blue. Their protection rings clinked together and Joce felt a jolt. Dean lifted his eyes and met hers. Joce leaned in, anticipating his lips to hers.

When his lips met hers she felt another, more powerful, jolt as he trailed a hand up her arm to cup her neck. Dean pulled Joce closer, maneuvering her so she straddled his hips. Dean deepened the kiss and Joce could feel herself falling completely and utterly into this. Whatever this was. Dean's hands were slowly pushing up her shirt and her hands were fluttering against his chest, unsure of where to put them.

**"Ahem."** A voice from the doorway startled them and Dean pulled away. Joce flushed when she realized it was a healer, and she was late for her session.

"Erm… Ginny, this is my…" Joce paused, unsure how to phrase what Dean was exactly to her. But Dean jumped in.

"I'm her boyfriend. Dean Winchester." He gave a cocky grin but Ginny merely lifted an eyebrow. Joce flushed as she realized what their position suggested. She clamored off of Dean and tugged down her shirt.

"Jocelyn, need I remind you that I do not recommend have sexual intercourse for at least a month?"

"I know Ginny… I just got carried away in the moment."

"Humph. Well at any rate we can do your session here if you like. Your boyfriend and help lend some energy, that should speed things up a bit." Joce bit her lip and frowned. But Dean cut in before she could refuse.

"I'd love to." He sent Joce a lopsided grin and she felt her heart melt.

* * *

Dean had thought there would be more to this then simply holding hands, but apparently not. Finally the healer dropped his hand. 

"We're done. I will see you in two days, Jocelyn?" Joce nodded and Dean stared at her. Joce had a high, healthy flush to her face. Her eyes were sparkling and the scars were faded to a like pink, almost pearl color. She sighed and lay back in the bed.

"That always makes me want to do something other then sit here."

"Well I can think of many different things we can do." Dean said with a wicked grin. Joce threw a pillow at him.

"You heard what Ginny said…"

"I heard, but I never said we would go that far." Joce paused to consider him. She bit her lips, worrying the skin between her teeth. Dean's eyes immediately dropped to study it. Joce cupped his face and pulled him close, giving him a chaste kiss. As he pulled away he touched their foreheads together.

"Joce, I have to leave." Joce froze. "I need to help some people. I have to leave for at least a week."

"Where?"

"Eastern Iowa University, that's all the info Sam gave me." Joce sighed and pulled away.

"At least its not far." He raised an eyebrow.

"Does that mean you're fine with me going?"

"Of course I am, I mean you have to help people…" Dean sighed.

"So you're not fine?" Joce rolled her eyes.

"I'm fine just… a little worried is all."

"Worried?" he asked incredulously.

"I don't want… I mean… I don't know!" Joce growled out, frustration coloring her tones. "I mean I know logically I shouldn't be worried but still… I can't help but be worried." Dean suddenly grinned.

"Aww… you would miss me if I croaked?" Joce shoved him.

"Don't joke about it Dean! Of course I would… these past four months have been great… and now we're… what are we anyway?" Dean considered her.

"Lovers." He said finally, taking her hand and brushing a light kiss over her knuckles.

"Are we?" Dean got a wicked grin on his face.

"Of course we are, we might not have done the horizontal mambo but we are."

"Dean!" she shrieked but with a giggle to her voice. She stops when he gets a serious look on his face. "Dean?"

"Promise me something, will you?" she bites her lip but nods, "Promise me you'll stay here until I come back." Her eyes go wide.

"What? Dean, no. I refuse to. I'll come and find you. After all Ginny says that in another week I'll be ready to go on my own." Dean's face hardens.

"A week? Joce let's be realistic here, you are in no shape to be roaming around and getting into fights with supernatural things. **Stay here**." Joce pouts and underneath the sheet she crosses her fingers.

"Fine."

"Alright, I should go, Sammy wants to leave early in the morning." He drops a light kiss on her cheek and waltzes out of there. Joce feels her heart leaden and she droops in the bed.

* * *

Faith lights a cigarette, Joce has snuck into her quarters. 

"You shouldn't be here."

"Shut up, I needed a cigarette and some advice." Faith raises an eyebrow and Joce sucks on the cigarette desperately.

"Whoa, are you sure you should be doing that?"

"Faith. I'm five by five." Faith glowered at her.

"That's my line."

"I know." Joce replied cheekily.

"What do you need?" Joce frowns and drops her gaze to the burning cherry of the cigarette.

"I don't know… I like Dean. A lot. I might even be…" she trails off and averts her gaze once more.

"Oh Josie-girl. It's all right for that to happen. I mean come on, who wouldn't? Look at B, it's happened to her plenty of times."

"It's not all right Faith. It's not right because even though I'm attracted to Dean… Sam has this something about him. I mean, I would **never**. God, **never ever** hook up with Sam but… still. I guess I can see a future with him." Joce states quietly. "It's stupid, and bad." Faith cocked an eyebrow but said nothing for a moment.

"Look, I can't help you make up your mind. I can't tell you what the future will hold. I can't tell you which Winchester boy is good for you and which is bad. What I can tell you is that having these kinds of thoughts can _only_ lead to disaster. I can also tell you that you are attracted to Sam because he is much more normal then your Pretty Boy. Sam is tall, dark, and handsome. Not to say Dean isn't, but Sam **exudes** normality. He has no criminal danger to him. He's gone to college and was going to law school. He's the type of guy that you expect a white picket fence, 2.5 children, and a damn dog named Fido from him. Joce. You've never **been** normal, and you'll never **be** normal."

"I don't want normality."

"Of course you do, every Slayer does. Look at Buffy."

"I'm not like Buffy. And what about you? You don't want normality."

"Joce. I'm engaged to Robin. We bought a house last week. I know I don't come off as a homemaker, and I sure as hell won't be, but I just want to settle down in one place. No more of this running around from place to place and never having a permanent home. Don't get me wrong, I love my job but sometimes all a girl really wants is her prince charming."

"Look, I didn't come here to discuss this. I came here to ask you if you knew anyone who could break oaths."

"Oaths?"

"Yeah, like a vow to someone."

"A wedding vow kind of thing?" Joce flushed.

"Erm… yeah kind of…" A slender eyebrow rose on Faith's face.

"Explain." Joce sighed and explained the happenings of only a few nights ago while Faith's frown got deeper. When she was finished they both went quiet. Faith let out a low whistle.

"That is pretty serious. It doesn't sound like something we should mess with." Off of Joce's incredulous gaze Faith added on, "but I will talk to Giles about."

"Giles!" Joce shrieked, "No! No! I cannot have Giles know about this!" Faith held up her hands.

"Hey! Calm down. I won't mention names." Joce sighed and took a drag from her cigarette.

"Fine. Good. Great."

"Now, you should get back to your room before you piss off anyone. I'll talk to you tomorrow."

"Alright…" Faith stood and escorted Joce out of her apartment like rooms.

"Rest up. If I know you, you're going to be leaving in a couple of days." Joce flushed and Faith shook her head, "Girly, I've told you time and again that you are exactly like me sometimes." She poked Joce lightly, "now go and rest up!" Faith swatted Joce's behind lightly and Joce flushed in mortification.

"Faith!" she hissed angrily.

"Joce!" Faith mocked and shut the door behind her.

* * *

Meanwhile Dean and Sam are leaving the police station.  
"Saved your ass! Talked the sheriff down to a fine. Dude, I'm Matlock!" Dean declares happily. Sam scowls silently. 

"But how?"

"I told him you were a dumb-ass pledge and that we were hazing you."

"What about the shotgun?"

"I said that you were hunting ghosts and that spirits were repelled by rock salt. You know, typical Hell Week prank."

"And he believed you?"

"Well, you look like a dumb-ass pledge." Another scowls lights Sam's face. He decides to change the subject.

"So, talk to Joce lately?" Dean pauses for a moment, searching for his keys. He doesn't speak for a good five seconds and when he does his voice is low.

"No. I tried calling last night but the nurse said she had been released. Then I tried her apartment and it was Faith, she said Joce was resting."

"So?"

"So, if I know Joce she's going to break her promise."

"Which was?"

"That she wouldn't come here." Sam frowned.

"Dean, what do you expect? It's Joce we're talking about here. If anything what happened to her will only make her want to kill even more evil bastards." Dean glances up sharply, leveling his hazel eyes on Sam.

"Like you."

"No. Not like me at all."

"Revenge is the same anytime Sam, doesn't matter who you're avenging or what against." As they arrive at their car, they see policemen running out of the station. They exchange glances. "Don't even think that this talk is finished Sammy." Dean spits out. Sam glowers.

"It's Sam." He stresses.

* * *

Joce winces as she takes a sharp turn. The movement has pulled at her healing scars. Her cell rings and she slows down to pick it up. 

"Hello?"

"Hey darlin'." Dean drawls out, his voice sounds thin over the phone. She can't help but smile.

"Hey, how goes it?"

"It goes… frustrating, as usual. What's that noise?" Dean asks as she speeds up a little.

"Oh, I managed to talk Faith into letting me borrow the 'stang. She was reluctant but I needed to just… drive. I've been cruising around for the past hour. She'd kill me if she knew that I was just cruising." She lying but Dean doesn't need to know that, she only a few minutes from the town Dean and Sam are at.

"Oh?" she gave see Dean raising his eyebrows as he says this.

"Yep, I needed some fresh air."

"I see."

"So tell me about the case."

"Well… there's this Hook Man."

"Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"A Hook Man?"

"Yeah, Hook Man."

"Like crazed killer with a hook sneaking around at make-out point and killing lustful teens?"

"Yep."

"Oh. Sounds… kinky." Dean snorted out a laugh.

_"Kinky?"_

"Yeah, kinky." Dean makes a grunting noise and Joce laughs lowly.

"What are you doing?"

"Digging… up… a… Preacher's… grave."

"Is he the Hook Man?"

"Yeah."

"Makes sense."

"Yeah."

"Dean?"

"Yeah?"

"Be careful."

"Will do."

"Dean?"

"Hmm?"

"Don't light yourself on fire." There's a low chuckle from his end and more grunting.

"I don't plan on it, it's weird that this is connected to a freaking church. And people wonder why I have no faith," then there's a loud cracking noise. "Jack pot! I've got some preacher's bones to salt and burn. See you in a couple of days?"

"Yeah ab-."

"Sorry, babe, I've really got to go." And the line goes dead. Joce stops at a stoplight and stares at the phone in her hand; with a sigh she flips it closed and tucks it into her pockets. Next to her Faith drums her fingers.

"Are you sure you want to be doing this?"

"Positive."

"Alright, but if your boy gets pissed at you, it ain't my fault." Joce gives terse nod and pulls into a motel. She pulls out her phone and dials up Sam.

* * *

Sam starts as his phone rings. He turns to Lori. 

"Hold that thought, I've got to take this. Hello? Joce?"

"Hey Sammy, I was just talking to Dean and-."

"You're here aren't you?" Sam asks and gives Lori a quick glance.

"Er… no…"

"Joce! Dean is worried about you! I'm worried about you!"

"Yes, it's all very noble but Faith is here with me, now where are you? I know Dean is digging up some remains but what about you?"

"I'm talking to someone."

"Oh? Is this someone a damsel in distress?"

"Yes."

"Go Sammy!"

"Don't call me Sammy. Look I'm kind of in the middle of something, I'll call you in a few."

"Yeah everyone is, can you just tell me what motel you guys are at? Sam? Sammy!" Sam turns the phone off and turns back to Lori.

"My brother's girlfriend, she just got out of the hospital and is looking for Dean I guess."

"She sounds… loyal."

"She is, to an extent." Lori frowns.

"What does that mean?"

"It means her and my brother are screwed up, they both adore each other but both of them insist upon acting like they don't need each other. They flirt with everyone they meet but pretend it doesn't bother them when the other is being particularly aggressive, and then they can be so… I don't know… tender with each other. Like all of those secret glances." Sam shook his head in disgust. "Anyway, continue." Lori gives a small smile.

"No one will talk to me anymore, except you. The sheriff thinks I'm a suspect. You know what my Dad would say? Pray, have faith. What does he know about faith?" she says vehemently.

"I heard you guys fighting before." Sam admits.

"He's seeing a woman, a married woman. I just found out. She comes to our church with her husband, I know her kids and he talks to me about religion, about morality. It's like on one hand, you know, "just do what you want and be happy" but he taught me…he raised me to believe that if you do something wrong, you will get punished. I just don't know what to think anymore…" She turns to Sam and hugs him fiercely. Sam is slightly surprised and he's even more surprised when she kisses him. He melts into the kiss for a moment, responding to it like any good twenty-something would. But for a moment his mind flashes to Jessica and he pulls away.

"I'm sorry, I just… can't." Lori tilts her head and frowns.

"You like her."

"Who?"

"Your brother's girlfriend."

"Where would get an idea like that?" Sam says defensively.

"It's the way you talked to her. And the look on your face."

"Look, Lori, I don't like her like that. She's pretty but I could never… my girlfriend died only a few months ago… I couldn't. I just couldn't."

"Are you saying that to convince me, or yourself?" Sam finds that he cannot answer.

* * *

Joce taps a rhythm on the steering wheel while Faith pops her gum. 

"How long are we going to just sit here?"

"Dunno." Her phone rings and she jumps before picking it up. "Sam?"

"Hey, you wanted to meet up with us?" he sounds stressed but Joce doesn't want to dig, so she doesn't question him about it.

"Yeah."

"Well I'm at the hospital now, waiting for Dean."

"Jesus, what the hell happened?"

"Nothing out of the ordinary."

"That's what they all say."

"Look, do you need directions?"

"No, I should be able to find it on my own."

"Alright cool, see you later."

* * *

Joce nervously wrings her hands. Faith is outside in the car. A short distance away she can see Dean's head with it's short golden-brown spiked hair. Sam's eyes flick up and meet hers but Dean doesn't seem to notice. She starts forward and manages to catch the tail end of their conversation, Dean is still unaware of her and Sam is suppressing a smile. 

"Remind me not to piss this girl off," he adds: _"I burned those bones, I buried them in salt, why didn't that stop him?"_

"You must have missed something."

"No, I've burned everything in that coffin."

"Did you get the hook?"

"The hook?"

"It was the murder weapon and in a way, it was part of him."

"So, like the bones, the hook is a source of his power."

"So, if we find the hook…"

"We stop the Hook Man," Joce says from behind Dean. Dean back stiffens and turns, his face pale but angry.

"What the **hell** are you doing here?" he demands quietly, his face thunderous.

"What? I can't have a little fun?" Joce asks with her eyes wide and innocent. Dean growls something under his breath and takes her arm in a harsh grip. He drags her to a secluded corner.

"I thought I told you to stay there, to not come here. To wait."

"I did but I got bored, plus you never said I couldn't cross my fingers." His face darkens and he tightens his grip. "Ow! Dean you're hurting me." Immediately guilt floods his features and he drops her arm.

"Are you okay? Are you even fully healed?" he asks and pushes up one of her sleeves, the pale skin is unmarred and he breathes a sigh of relief.

"Jesus, those healers do a good job." Joce nods but fidgets with a necklace he doesn't remember seeing before. Slowly he drops his head presses a kiss to her mouth. Joce is startled for a moment but responds eagerly. She wraps her arms around his neck and pushes to her tippy-toes for better access.

**"Ahem!"** Sam grumbles from behind them. The pair breaks apart and Sam grins, "So you two make up?"

"Shut it Sammy." Sam rolls his eyes

"Alright come on."

* * *

Joce and Dean are melting various silver objects when Sam hears a noise upstairs. 

"Go." Joce merely tells him while she and Dean continue to melt cups and such.

"Well that's the last of 'em." Dean declares and sits back. Joce leans against him as they watch the fire.

"You know, it's kind of pretty." Joce snuggles closer and Dean makes a noise of happiness. Suddenly there are shouts and a crash above them.

"What the fuck?" Dean asks aloud. They both get up and rush upstairs, Dean with his shotgun and rock salt.

"What did we miss?" Joce asks aloud as she helps up Lori. Suddenly she's thrown against the wall and Dean takes a shot but the Hook Man teleports away. Joce groggily stands and rubs her head. Sam's eyes land on Lori's cross and he rips it off before throwing it to Dean. Dean throws Sam the gun and rock salt. As Dean rushes to the furnace Joce is unsure for a moment of whether to go with him to stay with Lori and Sam. The decision is made for her when the Hook Man appears beside her and swipes at her with his Hook, she stumbles away with her collarbone bleeding and he advances on her. "Joce!" Sam yells and Joce rolls away just as Sam shots at him. And Joce leans shakily against a wall for support.

As Sam pauses to reload, Joce steps in front of him as the Hook Man appears again, disarming Sam after tossing Joce to the floor. He leans over preparing to strike Sam down when he starts to disintegrate. For a moment everyone is silent. Dean rushes upstairs and helps Joce up.

"Goddamnit!" Joce hisses in pain and Lori glares at her.

"Don't take the Lord's name in vain." Joce says nothing but allows Dean to put an arm around her waist and help her outside.

"That was intense…" Joce murmurs. She gives a hiss as Dean unbuttons her shirt a little bit and examines the wound.

"Yeah, just a little intense." Dean grouses. "It's not that deep, and I don't think you'll need stitches. Jesus, the bastard nearly got your throat." Joce winces and turns her head away.

"Yeah, lucky me. I only have someone going after that part of my anatomy every other day." Dean levels her with a glare. "What?"

"You could have been killed in there." Joce guiltily averts her eyes.

"I know." She says quietly. "I shouldn't have come but… I had to get away from there." Dean sighs and runs a tired hand over his face.

"Damnit Joce-." She cuts him off.

"I know, I shouldn't have come because I could get hurt. But a bus could hit me tomorrow by just crossing the street. The world tends to not be a safe place. Especially for people like us. But we have to do this. So I'll try and stay safe if you promise not to coddle me." he sighs and leans in, dropping a light kiss on her lips.

"Yeah, fine. I promise. Now you need to get that cleaned up." She smiles.

"Of course, Sir." She mocks and he glares at her.

"We're not goddamn soldiers."

"Of course not, sir." She teases further. Dean says nothing and the smile drops from Joce's face. "What?"

"Nothing."

"Seriously, what?"

"Seriously, nothing." Dean says while clenching his teeth.

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Stupendous!"

"Do you always have to have the last word?"

"No!" Dean raises an eyebrow but says nothing.

* * *

Later while Sam and Joce are getting treatment, the sheriff questions Dean.  
"And you saw him too? The man with the hook?" 

"Yes, I told you," Dean answers with a stiff tone. "We all saw him. We fought him off and he ran."

"And that's all?"

"Yeah, that's all."

"Listen, you and your brother…"

"Oh don't worry, we're leaving town."

Joce clamors into the car and curls up next to Dean. He throws an arm around her while he observes Lori joining Sam.

"They look cozy." Joce remarks.

"Yeah, I think Sam wants to stay." Dean mumbles. Joce sighs.

"I wouldn't mind settling down for a little while." She murmurs, almost unconsciously voicing Faith's words. Dean cocks his head.

"Settling down?" she frowns slightly.

"I don't know, an apartment, steady job, not having to worry about killing evil things. It sounds nice. Maybe more someday."

"More? Define more." Joce averts her eyes.

"Dean…"

"No. You are not getting out of this one."

"Please let's not ruin this with useless thoughts of the future."

"Useless? The Future? Joce, talk to me. What does this future entail?" Joce flushes brightly.

"Well… you and me…"

"And?"

"And… a white picket fence, a dog named Fido, and 2.5 kids."

"How can we have .5 kids?" Joce freezes.

"Dean…"

"Joce…"

"I don't know. Like I said it's useless because… because we'll never live long enough to see that. We can't have a serious relationship… I mean the oldest a Slayer lived to is… well I'm not sure, but probably not to their thirties and let's face it another five years and I'll be long past my expiration date. Five years is not enough time. Plus we're always on the move, it's useless Dean."

"Is it?"

"Dean!" she says angrily, "don't you get it? It's futile." Dean frowns and grasps her chin in his hand. He meets her eyes.

"Say that while looking at me." She can't. "See? If you can't say that while looking at me then it isn't. I'm not going to screw things up again." Joce doesn't know what he means by that but nods. "Don't shut yourself off from me Joce. Please?" she's never really heard him sound like this. She searches his eyes, everything is happening so fast but at the same time so slowly.

"Dean? I don't know if I can." She admits. Dean goes quiet and turns on the car as Sam climbs into the back.

"We could stay." Dean says suddenly. Sam shakes his head no and notes the tense atmosphere. He wonders what he interrupted but brushes it off.

* * *

Later that night while Joce is out patrolling in the small town they've stopped in for the night, Dean turns to Sam suddenly as he's drying his hair. 

"Hey. Remember that conversation I said we'd finish." Sam looks up from his computer and gives a short nod.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Let's finish it."

"Dean I'm really not in the mood to talk about this kind of shit now."

"Really? And what would be a good time for you?"

"How's never?"

"Sam, look you've got to stop this revenge kick you have going for you. It's not going to bring Jessica back."

"I know it won't." Sam says shortly. "But did dad stop for one minute to think that he should stop hunting because it was destroying his family. Did he stop to think, _'Well it won't bring her back so I should stop.'_ He didn't Dean! He never did! He never thought it would be better for us if he didn't try to avenge mom."

"Sam he _loved_ her."

"And I _loved_ Jessica! So just stop Dean. You don't understand. You wouldn't understand unless it was Joce pinned to a goddamn ceiling." Dean flinched.

"Don't you **dare** bring her into this."

"And why the hell shouldn't I?"

"She has **nothing** to do with the ceiling demon and she **never** will."

"And why would you say that?"

"Because it will never be like that for us. She doesn't want to get married and neither do I. _We have no future_." Dean growled angrily.

"So she's just a toy for you?" Sam said while standing.

"No! I never said that!"

"But you implied it, and that's enough. Go to sleep Dean. I'm going to find Joce." Sam continued to the door, flung it open, and stalked out into the night. Meanwhile Dean groaned in frustration and placed his face in his hands.

* * *

A/N: Well… I'm not quite sure if this chapter is perfected but I can't find much to fix.. 


	8. Build God, Then We'll Talk

Title: Stricken

Author: TigerTiger02

Chapter Title: Build God, Then We'll Talk

Summery: In which there is much depression, and talking but very little action

Disclaimer: I own nothing… but Joce and Alex, ask me before borrowing them…

Spoilers: Chosen and Dead in the Water to current episodes.

Dedication: to Tarryn, I have nothing else to day… other then blame System of a Down for the crappy title.

* * *

Joce tapped her fingers impatiently while waiting for Dean to come out of the motel check-in. **Ugh**, Oklahoma; she hates how… desolate it appears. She shivers as she stares out into the night. Gently she touches the stone that hangs from a piece of rawhide on her neck. The stone was created by Ginny, allowing her to function and appear healthy, even though she isn't. Right now all she wants to do is take a long shower. A pair of arms slips around her waist and she blinks, her senses tell her that it's not Dean. She won't stand for grope-age from someone else. She gives a high-pitched giggle. 

"Dean! Sammy doesn't know about us yet! Stop!" She says while slapping the tightening hands around her waist. The arms tighten instead and Joce grabs his wrists, twisting easily and breaking them with a sickening snap.

"Ow! Son of a bitch!" the vampire hisses. Her hand slips down to the stake at her waist and she grips it. Turning swiftly she plunges the stake into the stunned vampires heart.

"Seriously, stop." She growls out as he disintegrates. As the ash floats down Dean appears whistling, a key spinning around his forefinger. He pauses.

"You look pissed."

"A vampire, pretending to be you." she murmurs and steps over the pile of ash. Dean smirks.

"I don't know whether to be flattered or insulted."

"Be flattered." Joce tells him gently and presses her lips against his. He gives a low groan and draws her closer while at the same time pressing her backwards. Joce stumbles into the Impala, and is practically bent over the trunk. Sam rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically at the site of them entangled.

Ever since Joce had finally caved they had been practically unable to keep their hands off of each other. Although Joce was much more responsible, she tended to keep her head, whereas Dean was immediately distracted by the thought of pleasure. Sam was pretty sure they hadn't gone all the way, as Dean tended to come back with a slightly frustrated look, and he gone back to flirting with any pretty girl that crosses his path when Joce wasn't around. It pained Sam to see Joce so oblivious but she was too valuable of an asset to their team.

"Hey guys?" Joce breaks away from Dean with a sheepish look.

"Y-yes Sammy?" she says shakily.

"You think you could take this to your room?" he asks. Dean is pretty much ignoring him and is drawing doodles with his finger on Joce's shoulder. Joce shoves Dean away from herself and takes the keys from Dean.

"Which is which?" Dean frowns for a moment, his lust clouded mind making it difficult to think.

"Erm… seven?" he says finally and Joce tosses Sam the key.

* * *

Her skin is on fire, Joce decides this when both of their shirts ride up and their bare stomachs are touching. She swears to god she is burning because Dean's mouth is leaving a trail of heat that scorches. His hands are even worse, they are fumbling with the clasp to her bra now and she cannot ignore the panic. It's not that she's afraid because she's a virgin (which she's not), but it's more that she's afraid that it will ruin their relationship. She believes that having sex is some reserved for couples that are in love, and aren't having relationship problems. Although make-up sex is great. 

"Dean…" she murmurs, "Dean." He blinks and his eyes grow clearer.

"Hmmm?"

"Hands off the bra." He pouts but complies.

"Am I ever going to get any out of you?"

"Dean!" Joce sighs and gets off the bed. "I have to go get Alex, I need to take her out… hunting…" the word is like acid on her tongue but she knows that is what they are truly doing now.

After they had gotten rid of the Hook Man they had gone back to Slayer Central in Springfield. Alex had already been packed. Joce had felt relief when she realized Giles was okay with Alex being released. He had explained that Alex needed to be assimilated into the 'real' world again. That Alex, though she was much more lucid then before, was still on a fragile precipice of insanity, and it would probably do her good to be doing something normal. Joce had her doubts but she had promised Alex that she would come back for her. It would only seem right. Sam had understood, Dean hadn't been as agreeable, but he had acquiesced after a long argument.

So Alex had tarried along with them, sometimes sane enough that she functioned without help. Other times she would throw tantrums and fits. And still other times she would speak in riddles and odd phrases. There had been horrible fit in the morning and as a result Joce had had to drug Alex. It had pained her to do so. Alex had slept most of the way, slumped next to Sam who looked increasingly uncomfortable. She hadn't even woken up when they stopped. Joce felt the raw edges of guilt gnaw at her conscious, she had completely forgotten the quiet brunette was with them. She's sure Sam has taken care of Alex, woken her up carefully, escorted her to his and Dean's room, and gotten her some food. It was unusual how vigilant Sam was with Alex, how easily he took care of her. But Joce can see a haunted look in his eyes every time he looks at Alex, and she's reminded of way he is here: Jess. She's lucky that Alex is the opposite of Jess in everyway, at least according to Dean.

Joce smoothes her hair, pulls her shirt down, and buttons her pants. She tucks weapons around her body and pulls on a voluminous coat; one Spike had given her. It's supple Italian leather, and when she asked where he had gotten it, and why he was giving it to her, he had grinned and merely said,_ "A lovely Italian broad gave it to me a couple of years back, you should have seen the one she gave 'Gelus."_ Then he gave a snorted laugh and shoved the coat into her hands. Joce makes sure she has extra rounds for the 9 mm and clicks the safety on. She drops a kiss on Dean's sweat-beaded forehead. He gives whining groan.

"This isn't fair." She shrugs.

"Sorry, Babe." She says nonchalantly and prances to room seven.

* * *

Sam sighs as he approaches the sleeping Alex. He wonders if Joce has drugged the younger Slayer, and winces when he realizes that she probably has. 

"Alex?" he gently touches her shoulder and the girl jerks awake. Her green eyes are clouded with sleep and she mumbles something. However she thankfully sits up, rubbing her eyes.

"What time is it?" she slurs out. Sam shrugs and helps her out of the car. She sleepily leans against him, small boned like a bird. Sam smothers a smile at the thought; she is very bird-like. A hawk, a sparrow, it doesn't matter. And sometimes she's a cat. He places a steadying hand on her waist; she's like a newborn fawn when she wakes up from being drugged, all awkward long legs, and stumbles. He grabs her bag from the trunk and ushers her into his room. She sits on the bed, a small sleepy smile on her face.

"Nutmeg is bad for you," she declares. Sam cannot suppress the chuckle that comes with her odd words.

"Really?" He asks indulgingly. Alex nods slowly and solemnly.

"Yes. Very bad, she **kills**." Alex cocks her head and breathes in deeply from her nose. Her green eyes dart about before meeting Sam's similarly colored pair. "You look like her, just a little bit, in the delicate face. A lot like your mama, but you have papa's personality, just a little bit." She nods to someone Sam cannot see. "Yes, yes, Nutmeg agrees." Sam drops the bag and turns swiftly.

"W-what?" he chokes out.

"You look like her, very feminine." Alex gestures to her own face.

"I- what?" Alex's eyes lose the glassy look and she frowns silently.

"They've stopped whispering their secrets. What's for dinner?" Sam shakes his head, the episode was over before it even began but he can't help but wonder what she had meant. Had his mother been talking to her? No. Impossible, he had never heard his mother referred to as Nutmeg, and never mind the fact that Alex had just said Nutmeg was bad. He rummaged through his pockets and found a twenty, across the street a sign blinked at a diner.

"Come on, we'll have some burgers or something, my treat." Alex hopped off the bed with renewed energy.

"It's always your treat." Sam shook his head and they made their way across the street.

* * *

Alex watched Sam through narrowed eyes as he went for the last spoonful of ice cream. 

"Uh-uh! No way!" she said and stabbed her spoon, blocking his own. "Mine." There was a brief tussle between the two of them that ended with Alex sucking on the spoon with an exaggerated look of ecstasy on her face. "Mmmph…" she moaned and Sam rolled his eyes with a laugh.

"Come on, that's not fair." Alex shook her head.

"Told you, you should have gotten some pie."

"But I wanted a banana split." Sam said with a pout.

"Are you always like this?"

"I don't know, are you?"

"This isn't about me, is it? You're thinking of what Joce and Dean might be doing right now." Alex said with almost no expression. It took Sam a second to realize that she must have read him. He had heard that she might have some sort of extra-sense. "You're jealous but uncertain. You like the idea of Joce, a woman who can protect herself but still be a woman. You think if Jessica was a little more like Joce she wouldn't have died. She would have died. There is a reason to it." As if realizing what had happened Alex paused and went quiet. "We should get back. Joce will want to take me out."

"Yeah…" Sam dropped some bills on the table and they left the diner.

* * *

Joce fell to her knees as the vampire rushed towards her, she lifted her shoulder and managed to slam him on the ground behind her. Alex staked him and stood, brushing off her clothing. 

"That was the fifth tonight, wasn't it?" Alex asked and brushed her bangs from her eyes.

"Yeah. There's a lot, which is surprising considering how…"

"Empty this place is?"

"Yeah I know. Maybe there's something here, that draws them here…" just as Joce said this a vampire came running out of the brush.

_"Evil!"_ he shrieked loudly. Alex clotheslines him and crouched on his chest.

"Pardon?"

"_That place is evil!"_ he hisses. _"Cursed!"_

"What place?"

"If I tell you will you let me go?"

"Maybe." He went silent and closed his mouth, showing that he wasn't about to speak.

"Oasis Plains!" he whimpered out as Alex slowly pressed the stake to his chest.

"Alright. Thanks." They watched for a moment as he ran. Joce brought up the crossbow with a hard look on her face and fired. The vampire froze, and then crumbled to ash.

"Oasis Plains? Dean mentioned that earlier, apparently someone died from… erm… some brain degenerative disease that would have taken months to work through his brain, but happened within an hour."

"Sounds like fun." Alex remarked dryly. "Is that where you were earlier? With Dean." Joce sniffed.

"If you must know, yes. Ready to call it a night?" Alex cocked her head, her green eyes glowing slightly.

"Yes." She said, the s catching and dragging slightly.

* * *

Joce rolls over onto her back, she can't sleep and she knows why. Not only is it the horrible nightmares she gets, it's all of the important conversations she's been putting off with Dean. They'd start off just fine but then one of them would start yelling, or back out, or just plain leave. Sometimes it was her, most of the time it was Dean. In the end when she had been the one to leave she would come back from patrol and sneak into his and Sammy's room, she would climb into his bed and curl up next to him. He would sigh, grumble something, but sling an arm around her waist, pulling her closer and burying his face in her hair or neck. And if he was the one to leave he would come back and bring her flowers, or some pretty bauble, or a weapon as a peace offering and they would end up sprawled on her bed. Sometimes he would just storm right back into her room, grab her roughly by her shoulders and haul her into a vicious, biting kiss, that was when he was he was particularly angry. 

Joce sighs and finally gets out of her bed, its 2 AM so she has no clue if Dean or Sam will be awake, but something tells her they will be. She pulls on a pair of shorts and shirt and pads down the hall to their room. She opens the door quietly to see Sam on his laptop. He looks up and smiles, jerking his head toward the other side of the room that's bathed in darkness. "He's asleep but I don't think he'll care if you join him."

Dean is lying on his stomach, wearing only boxer briefs as far as she can tell. One hand hangs off the bed while the other is under his head under the pillow. The sheets bunch at his waist so she can see his golden tanned back. The skin isn't without flaws; she can see a few silvery scars, knife wounds, and scratches, maybe even burns. But they don't deter from lusciousness of the skin. She's half tempted to lick a line down his back and see what happens, but she can't do that to poor Sammy. So instead she places a few fingers on it, feeling the rolling of the muscles beneath that delicious skin as he breaths. Surprisingly it's silk soft and Joce presses lightly against it, enjoying the warmth. She forgets that it's Dean, who does not sleep heavily, and places her whole hand on his back. Suddenly her other wrist is grasped and she's pulled to the bed with a grunt.

She looks down and meets Dean's hazel eyes. There's a long moment when neither of them speak, and Sam has melted into the background, Joce notes that the bathroom door is shut and there's the faint sound of the shower running. Good Sammy, she knew she could count on him. Dean is still holding her wrist tightly, not tight enough to hurt but tight enough to keep her from escaping, should she wish to do so. Joce can feel the thundering of Dean's heart against her chest, her whole upper body is sprawled across his but her lower is next to his. She licks her lips and watches his eyes dart towards them, then he licks his own.

"So…" his says in a hoarse voice, "Are you going to do something or just sit there and stare at me?"

"Dean."

"Hmm?"

"Shut up and kiss me."

* * *

Joce awakes alone. Normally she would wake up with Dean wrapped around her, unwittingly keeping away her nightmares but this morning she's cold and alone. She sits up and glances about, finally seeing a note pinned to Sam's pillow. She plucks it up and smiles as she reads it. 

_Babe,_

_Sammy and I went to check out where Dustin worked._

_Didn't want to wake you._

_We'll be back, and I'll call and check-up around 12._

_Dean_

She glances at the clock and sees that it's only ten. Joce allows herself a long a luxurious stretch, enjoying the cracks that emit from her spine as she bends back far enough. She enjoys sleeping in the same bed as Dean, feeling his heat wrapping around her. Feeling the barest brush of skin against skin. Once in awhile the bed will grow too warm because Dean is like the sun, the heat he gives off is ridiculous in its proportions. So he ends up on the floor, grumbling and cold until she cools off enough to allow him back in. She loves the fact that they are able to sleep together and not have sex, and not be tempted. Well to be honest she is tempted but not stupid. Four months with someone isn't enough time to know him or her well enough to jump in the sack and have a go.

The shower water is cool against her fevered skin and she shivers slightly. However it calms her frayed nerves and she leans into the rain-like stream of water. She likes showers; they make her calm and peaceful. She thinks well in them, better then when she's around people. The water cools down from tepid to downright chilly to freezing. She finally steps out and wraps herself in a towel.

* * *

Dean spots the sign almost at the same moment his stomach rumbles. 

"Maybe we should start here, you know, talk to the locals." He says even as his mind is really on the food.

"And the free food's got nothing to do with it?" Sam asks as he clearly reads his brothers mind.

"Of course not," Dean scoffs, "I'm a professional." There's a moment when neither of them speak as Dean parks.

"Man, I could never live in one of these places, cushy lifestyle and cookie cutter house. Psh. No way."

"There's nothing wrong with normal, Dean. What about Joce, hm? What if Joce wants this kind of life? What if wants to move to this type of place, and settle down? With you. Then is it so bad?"

"Sam," Dean begins in a warning sort of growl, "Joce wouldn't want to live in this type of place."

"Oh, and you would know?" Sam scoffs, "You and Joce can barely managed to mention the future in passing without arguing. So, Dean, how do you know what she wants? I'm curious, tell me."

"Sammy, I am warning you.** Now is not the time.** And what Joce and I talk about is none of your **goddamned** business. So get your **damn nose** out of it." Dean snaps as he knocks on the door. There's a long moment before a man opens the door. He smiles widely at them.

"I'm Larry Pike, the developer here. And you are?"

"Dean. This is Sam." Dean says in his most charming voice.

"Sam," he says while politely shaking Larry's hand.

"Sam, Dean, good to meet you. So you two are interested in Oasis Plains?"

"Yes, sir." Dean says with another amiable grin.

"Let me just say. We accept home owners of any race, religion, color or sexual orientation." Larry is looking between them, and there is an embarrassed look in his eyes.

"We're brothers." Dean quickly clarifies with an embarrassed flush. He can just see Joce laughing and saying something along the lines of, _"Oh Deanio, see I told you they wouldn't care. I'm actually his sister. Sam really is his boyfriend; gosh they are just so terrified of homophobes. It's like homophobe-phobia!"_

"Our father is getting old in the years and we're just looking for a place for him." Sam adds on, "However my brother and his fiancée, she's at the hotel room sleeping, are looking for a place together." Sam smiles nastily at a glaring Dean as Larry let's them in. He tells them of the conception of Oasis Plains 18 months earlier.

"Why it's such a nice place to live that my own family was the first to settle here!" he tacks on. "Oh honey! Come here, boys this is my wife Joanie. Joanie this is Sam and Dean. Tell them how much you love the place honey. And lie if you have to 'cause I need to sell houses!"

Outside Dean eagerly digs into some of the BBQ food as a woman walks up to him and Sam.

"Hi there. I'm Lynda Bloom. I was the second to move here… let me just tell ya'll that we accept home owners of any race, religion, color, or sexual orientation!" Sam gives a strained smile and opens his mouth to deny but Dean cuts him off quickly.

"I'll go talk to Larry, okay honey?" he says with a grin because taping Sam on the ass. Sam blushes and turns to give Dean a death glare. However Dean mouths back: "Pay back's a bitch." Sam clenches his fists, knowing it is pay back for the comment he made about Joce.

* * *

Joce sometimes wonders why people dwell so much on love and put so much stock into it. Haven't they ever heard of Romeo and Juliet? Sampson and Delilah? Tristan and Isolde? All of them doomed lovers. She shakes off the thought and stubs out her cigarette on the railing before flipping open her cell phone. 

"Hello?" a rough British accented voice asks sleepily.

"Spike? Why the hell are you picking up Faith's phone?"

"Didn't want to wake her, she's exhausted from last night."

"Oh my god, Spike please tell me you did not sleep with Faith last night."

"Ye gads no! Where in the bloody hell did you get that idea?"

"Uh Spike, think about what you said."

"Oh sod. Anyone ever tell you that you have a smutty mind?"

"All of the time."

"So… how are things going with Pretty Boy?"

"I'm sorry, who?"

"Dean. How are things with Dean?"

"Hm… nothing I want to tell a loudmouth like you."

"Hey! I resent that!"

"Sorry… actually I do want to talk about that."

"Oh?"

"It's just… well… I'm afraid."

"Of what?"

"I don't know… it just doesn't feel real to me. You know? Like any moment I could wake up and he would be gone. But at the same time… it doesn't bother me. It's sort of like, if it's not real then it won't hurt as much later."

"I know how you feel ducks, _**Love's Bitch**_ here. And what do you mean later? This Dean bloke planning on dying on you?"

"I don't know what I mean Spike… it's just that you never know…"

"Hmm… let me tell you something Joce, if you just let yourself go and stop thinking… this whole experience could be pleasurable, have a bit of fun. Tie him up and use ice or electricity on him. Torture him. Blindfold him. Whip him. Just have fun!"

"Spike, to be honest I'm not sure if you idea of fun is my idea of fun." Joce stated dryly as she lit up another cigarette. He let out a boisterous laugh, a laugh she loved and knew. It was comforting to hear him laugh like that.

"You'd be correct in that, dove. Look I have to go but I'll have Faith call you back."

"Bye Spike."

"Bye Dove." Joce put the phone back into her pocket, wrapped her arms around herself, and smoked another cigarette. Without warning she felt a sudden hollow feeling in her heart. Like her soul was ripped away. It brought her to her knees. Joce quickly flicked the cigarette away, managed to get to her bed, and fell asleep before she hit the pillow.

* * *

She awoke to her ringing cell. Joce grunted as she hit the floor and searched for it. 

"Hello?" she murmured.

"Hey, pack up your stuff, we're swinging by to pick you up." Dean. It was Dean. Her heart skipped a beat and at the same time managed to stop.

"No!" she said forcefully, surprised at her own declaration.

"I… what? No?" Dean asked clearly confused.

"Alex has taken a few steps back… I don't think it would be right to move her. It might make her do something drastic." _Oh god, why was she saying this? What the hell was wrong with her?_ The thoughts ran through her head rapidly. _Why was she running away, again?_ She felt bile raise her throat and she forced it down. _Why did the thought of her and Dean terrify her so much?_ Dimly she realized Dean was talking.

"… we figured we would test out their incredible steam shower… looks like we're here. Are you sure you'll be fine?"

"I'm sure." She said steadily, her voice sounded hollow to herself but who knew how Dean perceived it.

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow?"

"I don't know… I had to sedate Alex pretty heavily." She couldn't believe the lies spewing from her mouth, _what was wrong with her?_

"Hmmm… well I'll call you in a little while, sleep well." She clicked the phone off with a heavy heart. Confusion left a leaden blanket in her mind. Joce felt her heart twist painfully. _Why was this so hard? Why couldn't she just settle back and have some fun? Why did she have to complicate the hell out of everything?_

She sits harshly on her bed, head in hands, and allows a few tears to slip down her face. In the bed, under the covers, and surrounded by Dean's scent, she wonders why she feels so odd. _Why does it feel as if something is being forcibly ripped from her? Like her soul is being shredded to pieces and her heart is breaking? Why does it feel like a big part of her is suddenly missing?_ Her phone is ringing insistently but somehow she can summon to energy to pick it up, even if it's not even an arm's length away.

* * *

Faith hangs up the phone and shrugs. 

"Hmm, guess she's out with Dean." She says to Giles.

"I really am glad you came to me about this, Faith."

"No prob G-man. I mean I know I kinda betrayed Joce's trust but she was pretty troubled by the whole oath thing. I'm sure she'll be happy about being detached from him." Faith paused and thought for a moment. She nervously chewed on her lower lip before voicing her concerns. "We were right to do this, right? I mean… it won't hurt her, right?"

"Of course not." Giles scoffed. "The only way harm could come to either of them is if they unknowingly fell in love with each other. If feelings like that are exchanged between them, even if unknown, it could cause major harm. But this Dean Winchester hardly seems the type to fall in love quickly. And I've always known Jocelyn to be a sensible girl." He said as he gathering up the various candles and herbs around them.

"Good. I'll try and call her later."

"Excellent. Thank you again for informing me of this Faith. Being in a relationship after what happened to her will not benefit her health, emotion, mental, or physical." Faith nodded and left the room.

* * *

Across many states Dean fell to his knees in the steam shower. It felt as if his heart was being wrenched out of his chest still beating. He gasped desperately for air as he places his hands on the tiles. One hand went to his chest and he clutched his skin tightly, wincing in pain. 

_"Oh… god…"_ he murmured in pain. Blood rushed in his head, making it pound and all he could hear was a dull roar. He rubbed at his chest in the spot above his head. "Oh man… knew I shouldn't I have had that last chicken leg…" he groaned out as he stood painfully. But for some reason he couldn't place the odd hollow feeling he had.

* * *

Meanwhile Joce continued to cry without knowing the reason. Her whole body shook as she lay in her bed. She began to whimper incomprehensible words as she shook. Slowly the whimpered words got louder. 

_"Dean… oh god… Dean… I need to you,"_ she whispered out. Behind her closed eyelids she relived every moment of her capture. Every slowly trail the knife left, every drop of goddamned warm blood that ran down her body. Every slow rasping, lick of a tongue. She must of have screamed because suddenly Alex was there.

"Oh… oh… Joce… oh… he's gone from you… oh… gone." Alex murmured and tried desperately to comfort the suddenly fractured girl.

_"What is wrong with me?"_ Joce whimpered.

"He's gone from you. You're all alone in there."

"I don't understand."

"We need to get you out of here. Get Spike."

"Alex… please help me." Joce whispered.

* * *

A/N: I'm still not sure if I want this whole soul-mate bullshit in here. 


	9. Gold Mine Gutted

Title: Stricken

Author: TigerTiger02

Chapter Title: Gold Mine Gutted

Summery: in which there is complications, feelings, and sex.

Disclaimer: I own nothing… but Joce and Alex, ask me before borrowing them…

Spoilers: _Chosen_ and _Dead in the Water_ to current episodes.

Dedication: to whoever the hell decided to keep _Supernatural_ on air!

Note: **Bold **identifies flashback when set as a whole paragraph.

* * *

In a dark and not-so-silent room Joce thrashed on the bed, she gave muffled cries and sobs as she moved about. The nightmare seemed to clutch her tighter as she flayed even more wildly and the cries got louder. As the nightmare climaxed Joce arched her back, clawing at her throat as some invisible enemy cut off her air supply. Just as if it seemed like she would die in her sleep from sheer terror her eyes popped open. She somehow found the strength to still her body and sit up. Her steady breathing became louder as she fully regained consciousness. The vestige of whatever nightmare had held her firmly faded as she drew in cleansing breathes. 

Slowly she swung her feet over the side of the bed, her feet gracefully resting on the floor before she managed to gain the strength to stand. For a moment she swayed, almost as if she were about to collapse before she reached over to the bedside table and grabbed the cigarette box. She flicked it open, extracted a cigarette and picked up the Zippo. She paused for a moment, as if deciding something important, and strode towards the door. She flicked the locks and wrenched the door open, stepping outside and lighting her cigarette with precise synchronicity.

Outside, her eyes holding a decidedly faraway look, she stared across the tarmac at… nothing. The cigarette dangled between her fingers, seemingly forgotten as she fell into a memory.

**Dean grumbled something as he rolled over, searching for Joce's missing warmth. She stifled a giggle and moved out of the way even more. A cute frown wrinkled the space between his eyebrows as his hand came into contact with no warm flesh. He stretched farther and she moved farther out of his grasp. Finally he opened one eye, then the other and glared at her.**

**"Come back to bed." He mumbled, or at least that's what she thought he said.**

**"Why?"**

**"Because it's kinda cold…"**

**"Hmmm… nah." He narrowed his eyes and in one swift movement hauled her back into the bed. His arms wrapped tightly around Joce's waist he nuzzled her neck and closed his eyes. Automatically his body relaxed.**

**"Night, babe." He murmured and was instantly asleep. Joce smiled.**

"Awww shit!" Joce cursed as she was jerked out of her memory. Her fingers dropped what remained of the cigarette and for a moment she studied the burns on her fingers. It hadn't hurt, and it didn't hurt now. It was more of a shock then anything. Slowly she flexed her hands and stared at the angry burns. Inside her room she could hear the cell phone ringing. For a moment she contemplated answering it but knew who it would be. She waited a couple of minutes, flicking the Zippo open and shut distractedly before going back inside her room. There was a blinking envelope on her cell's screen.

_"Joce? Hey, babe…"_ there was a long pause with a frustrated sigh._ "I… I miss you Joce. Why did you-."_ there was another frustrated noise as his voice hitched slightly, as if he were about to cry. _"Never mind. Joce. I just… I need some closure, all right? Just… call me. Please."_ There was a desperate note in his voice that made her heart contract painfully. Then there was a fumbling noise and the automated voice picked up, asking her if she would like to delete the message. She did so.

Joce let the phone slip out of her numb fingers. It hit the floor with a hollow thud. Her body felt heavy, her heart was racing. She knew her body wanted to be outside with Spike, inhaling the fresh air and flirting with death. She slipped into the bed; her mind couldn't handle it. If she got more calls like that she feared she would crack. With a low noise of sadness she curled up under the covers and once more relived various memories until she fell into a tortuous sleep.

**"No… no…" she begged Alex as the slight girl pulled away from her.**

**"I'm sorry, Joce. But I need to call someone. Just… rest." Joce barely noticed the prick of the needle in her skin, seconds later she visibly relaxed. All coherent thought other then 'ooooh pretty colors' left her mind as the morphine kicked in. Then everything went black.**

**When she came to Spike was hovering over her.**

**"Shh… ducks… we'll get you out of here… shush darling." He purred as she broke down and cried once more.**

**When she finally calmed down she penned a quick letter. Explaining to Dean she couldn't be with him, there was something wrong with her. Something that wouldn't be fixed while being there because… she just couldn't. She knew it was vague and she knew that nothing was really explained that well but it was the best she could do. She pinned it to Sam's pillow, grabbed her bags, and allowed Spike to escort her to his rental car.**

* * *

Joce stirred as Spike sat down on her bed, his hand coming to her forehead and brushing a lock of hair away from her face. She looked peaceful in her sleep, almost as if the horrible nightmares didn't affect her, but it never lasted long. Her face was already frowning slightly as he watched her. She begins to murmur something under her breath so Spike decided to intervene. He poked her harshly in the side and with a squeak of indigence she sat up. 

"Why did you wake me up?" she asked in a hushed, small voice. The same one she had been using since he picked her up. Spike winced at her tone.

"Come on. No more sulking, we've got some work to do. Helping the helpless and saving puppies and kitties and all that rot." Spike said as he pulled on his duster. With slender, quick fingers he stole a cigarette from her pack and lit it with his silver Zippo. When she didn't make a move to attack him or get out of bed he spoke around the cigarette. "Come on, up! Up! Up! Get out of the bloody bed!" Joce groaned and slipped out of the bed. She pulled on some more suitable clothing as she went. Spike grimaced as he watched her.

He hated this new Joce. He hated how listless she was. He hated how she seemed to just stop caring about anything and everything. He knew she was depressed, Spike was not a stupid vampire, he could see clearly that something was wrong with her. It was nearly the same as Buffy; he winced at the thought of his biggest regret and mistake. He could see the signs and sense them. Joce was depressed, and not depressed in a normal, non-mystical way. She felt, to him at least, a bit like Buffy after her return form heaven. She felt 'not-right'. He was honestly glad that the chip not longer worked, but damned if he didn't wish it did in times like this. He wished he could just punch her and feel a painful jolt, reassuring him that nothing was wrong with her. Something had been changed in her, for the better at first, and then it was ripped away, or changed again, leaving her depressed and bare. He didn't know what it was exactly, he hadn't gotten far enough in his thinking to piece that together, but what he did know was that it had to do with a Dean Winchester.

"Spike?" Joce's hushed voice reached him in his foggy mind. He blinked and gave a slow predatorily smile.

"All right, Ducks, ready for some hunting." Nearby Alex tilted her head in an awkward angle.

"_Hunting?_ Hunting implies that we might fail… **no we're killing.**" She purred out. Joce had paled.

"Yes… killing seems more apt." Spike cursed his stupidity, forgetting that the Winchester's used the same term.

* * *

Dean Winchester at that same moment was curled up in his bed. The past month had been wicked hard on him. He couldn't seem to focus on the past two hunts. Resulting in him getting shot with salt rock by Sam on this past one. He winced as he shifted silently in his bed. His thoughts moved to Joce and with a pang he realized he missed her, he truly missed her. He felt his stomach drop completely when thinking about the vague note she had left. He had called and called and called to no avail. 

He didn't think he loved her, love was something his father and mother shared; Dean knew he could never have that kind of love. But he did know the he and Joce shared something special, but maybe it was because of that oath he made. Dimly he heard his cell phone ring and he frowned. Who the hell would be calling now? Somehow he couldn't quite make himself reach for the phone. He heard Sam shift and flipped it open.

_"Dad?"_ he asked in a stunned tone.

Dean sat up quickly, wincing as he did so. If anyone could tell him what was wrong with him it was his father. John Winchester knew these kinds of things. Dean had to get to that phone. For a few long moments Sam and his Dad argued back and forth. Dean finally grabbed the phone after Sam refused to relinquish it.

"Dad, it's me. Where are you? I need to- Dad _please_ it's importa- No. Something else- Dad! How did you- oh. Right. Yes, sir. Uh, yeah I got a pen… What are their names? Dad… can we- yes, sir. Fine." Dean felt disappointment well up inside him.

He needed his father's guidance on this one… but his father refused to help. How he had known about Joce Dean didn't know. But it hurt him that he had told Dean to forget about her, and if he really loved this girl, he would leave her alone. He actually forbade Dean to even think about her, using his scary military voice and saying, _'And if you do Dean I will know.'_

* * *

The head fell to the ground rolling before there was an almost gasping noise and it burst into dust. Joce stared impassively at the empty space before leaning against the scythe that she had stolen from the barn. The barn had been housing a whole nest of vampires. Spike had suggested burning it to the ground but Joce had said that would be a little too suspicious. Spike was staring at her with an unreadable look in his gold eyes. 

_"What?"_ she snapped at him.

"Joce, are you suicidal?" She frowned. "Because there were nearly thirty vampires, Alex toyed with five and I took on three… you killed the rest. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"I've come to the realization that…" Joce paused and stretched languidly. "There is no reason that I should fear death. Because I **am** death." She shrugged slightly, a glazed look in her eyes. Spike narrowed his eyes.

"Joce." She didn't respond, her eyes narrowed and her nostrils flared.

"There's something out there." She said quietly, jerking her chin towards the orchard that they had yet to venture into.

"Yeah, I know. I can feel it too ducks."

"Let's get back to Burkitsville." Joce murmured.

* * *

Dean was exhausted. He had slept in his car the previous night and got only a scant few hours of sleep since Sam wasn't there. He was alone. John had left. Joce had left. Sam had left. It seemed to him that people had a nasty habit of leaving him. But did it really matter? In the end the only thing that truly mattered was the hunt. Right? No. Not right. The hunt was just some kind of legacy that he had inherited. It wasn't his life… or at least he wished it wasn't his life. It wasn't until recently that he realized how much he was missing, he hated sounding like a chick and having a gooey philosophical clichéd moment but it was true. He had been given a glimpse of what a normal life was with Sam and Jessica, and he had felt it with Joce but he stubbornly shoved it away. Well they always said the apple never fell far from the tree… but why the hell an apple? 

Personally he thought that he was like a peach, or maybe an avocado. Yep, Dean Winchester the Avocado, no he didn't like those either. Which bought him to his next question, what else fell from trees? Walnuts? Yeah he likes walnuts. _"I am a Walnut."_ Dean declared to himself, nodding in a self-assured way that could only be described as cocky. Dean shook his head as the town sign came into view. "Burkitsville? This better be the right town." He sighed as he pulled into the town before parking his car. Oddly enough this one seemed to thrive while all of the other ones seemed dead. He shrugged and climbed out of the Impala, armed with missing posters and a charming smile.

* * *

Joce tossed and turned, throwing a pillow over head to avoid the sunshine that crept into the darkened room through the curtains. She slept until just before dusk, not waking until the sun was down, they kept vampire hours now. Well at least she and Spike did. Alex was doing better now; the medication and magic helped her a lot. She still sometimes wandered off into her own world but she could be trusted alone and out into the real world when need be. Right now she was in town, going to Scotty's for some of that damn good apple pie. It seemed to her that Scotty and some of the other townies were disappointed in the fact that neither Alex nor Joce mentioned having a man with them. They had thought it best that Spike keep out of sight, since he would be only going out at night. 

Joce shifted again and Spike called out from across the room. "What's wrong, dove?"

"Can't sleep… too hot…" she murmured. There was a long silent moment, and then Spike was sliding into her bed, wearing only a pair of mandatory black silk boxers, if it were up to him he would wear nothing. He pulled her close and she shivered at the touch of his cool skin. He also shivered.

"Better?" he whispered into her ear as they spooned.

"Much."

"I need some of your heat and you need some of my… lack of heat." He murmured. She could tell exactly when he fell asleep and how deeply he did so. His breathing had stopped completely and he was like a now kind of warm dead weight around her. Joce allowed herself a moment of wonderment, in which she thought of what it would be like to have an intimate relationship with Spike. But she dismissed the thought, it would be too weird, they were too much like brother and sister for that.

* * *

Alex smiled at Scotty as she clamored up the steps. Dimly in the background she heard the rumbling of an engine and smiled. She knew who it was, she planned for this. 

"Hey Scotty, can I get some apple pie? To go. And some of that cider."

"Sure thing-."

"Alex?" Alex turned.

"D-."

"It's me, John Bonham." He said quickly.

"Oh! John! It's been so long since I last saw you! Almost didn't recognize you!" Alex stepped towards him opening her arms. He gave her a confused look and she winked at him. "She's here… she's… there's something wrong with her. She's asleep right now, been taking vampire hours, Spike's with us." She pulled away smiling slightly but there was something in it that made Dean stop for a moment.

"Is she…?" Dean didn't know what he was asking but Alex seemed to know.

"No. _Worse_. John why don't you talk to Scotty, and I'll get our food from Alice."

* * *

Joce woke slowly from her slumber. She couldn't sense Alex anywhere nearby so she stayed curled around Spike. She could tell he was breathing again so she lifted her head and met his electric eyes. 

"I want to spar." She said abruptly.

"You do now do you? You think you can handle me? Alright, wanna clear a space?"

In no time their twin beds were pushed against the wall, there was a small 9X5 foot space that was completely clear. For a long moment neither of them moved. Then with a blur as Joce swiped at him, Spike darted out of the way and smirked at her.

"That all you got?" he purred to her.

"Not a chance!" She said with a wicked grin. She bounced slightly on the balls of her feet and feinted to the right before going to left and landing a vicious right hook. She darted back as Spike stumbled slightly and reached up to touch his bleeding lip.

"Love it when you get vicious, baby." He purred. He lunged forward while snapping his fist forward; Joce ducked and went into a leg sweep but Spike quickly leaped away. "Come on, darling, dance with me." Joce bared her teeth and growled low at him. She gave him a high spinning kick to his chest and he stumbled away but quickly snapped a kick at her stomach. She stumbled away and fell against a chest of drawers. Spike hit her hard with a boot the face but Joce managed to grasp his ankle before any real damaged was done. She twisted it causing him to stumble and fall to the floor where she lays there stunned for a moment.

"Jocelyn? Are you okay?" Joce stares at him but before he can register it she kicks her feet up, hitting Spike square in the face and leaping to her feet.

"You buggerin' broke my bleedin' nose!" Spike yelled in a muffled voice. Joce laughed lightly.

"Oh come on, you can't actually be pissed about that. Are we gonna dance, or what?"

"'m not! Just don't like it. And no! You broke my nose. No more sparring for you." He murmured and licked his hands and upper lip clear of blood. "Yummy, nose blood." Joce pulled a face and he smirked at her, making a show off licking the blood off his fingers.

"Joce? I've got some warm, apple pie out here? If you could just open the door…" It's Alex, outside with some food as the day comes to close. Joce wipes the blood from the cut on her from Spike's boot and opens the door.

"Food? Thank god, Spike and I were just sparring."

Several minutes later Joce moaned in pleasure as she drained the last of her cider. "Man that was delicious. So are we going to go?" She asks while picking up her packed bag. However Alex gets a funny look on her face.

_"Orchard_." She whispers. Joce reaches out and grasps Alex's hand but the girl pulls away from her. "There's something in the Orchard. You must go." Before Spike can do anything Joce stands up resolutely and darts to the door. Sunshine spills inside the gloomy room and Spike pulls away into the shadows until Alex closes the door. "It's begun." She says. Spike can only wonder at what 'it' is exactly, and stand there horrified at the possibilities.

* * *

Joce catches her breath as she skids to a halt in front of the orchard. She been all gung-ho about leaving but then something snagged and caught in her mind and she told Spike to stay there. There's a car parked, well it looks more like it broke down, and then farther down the road she can just barely make out a hulking American car. She can't make out the make, model, color, or anything. She cautiously makes her way into the orchard, pausing for a moment to blink at the scarecrow stand that is oddly enough missing its scarecrow. 

"What the-?"

"Joce?" Joce stiffens and turns around; Dean is standing there in all of his hunting glory, okay well maybe not.

"Dean… I-."

"No time for explanations." He states coldly, "There's a couple wandering around here about to be eaten by a scarecrow."

"Huh… if only he had a brain." Joce muttered just as a scream broke through the darkness.

"That must be it." Dean muttered and they took off.

They run into the frightened couple and Dean yells at them to get out of the Orchard and back to their car. Joce doesn't have a gun on her but she has her hands and feet. She crouches down, preparing to spring on the bastard as Dean shoots at the scarecrow.

"Go! Go!" Dean shouts and turns to run, grabbing Joce as he turns.

"What are you doing?" she yells at him as they continue to run, "I could have taken that bitch down easily!" she hissed as they halted outside of the Orchard. Dean turns around preparing to shoot it again but the scarecrow is gone.

"No you couldn't. I saved your ass Jocelyn so quit your bitching."

"Oh fu-." Dean glaring at her cuts her off.

"What—what the hell was that?" the man wheezes out.

"Don't ask." Dean growled out.

* * *

"Call me when you find dad." Dean murmured and then seconds later hung up the phone. In front of him Joce was pacing like a caged animal. They're in her motel room with Spike and Alex. Spike is smoking a cigarette and watching her carefully. 

"Careful, pet, wouldn't want to have to pay for damages. Have a sit and let us chat a bit, eh love? We can do that without hurting anyone, yeah?"

"Yeah." Joce drops like a stone to the bed that Spike is sitting on and take the proffered cigarette. She puffs on it for a few seconds before her hands stop shaking so much. There is a long moment of silence in which no one speaks.

"Why did you leave?" Dean says quietly. Joce opens her mouth to speak but Alex interrupts and she looks at Dean through the curtain of her hair, her green eyes almost glowing as she stares at him.

"She left because there was no match anymore." She murmurs, "the equations didn't work anymore and the numbers didn't add up. Everything came out jumbled. Her heart shriveled and died like rose in winter. Pieces of her fell out everywhere when she broke and I couldn't put her back together. Nothing fit perfectly anymore. There were pieces missing and parts that didn't add up. She wasn't whole anymore because the Watcher took it away. Something in her changed; bloomed in the winter with you. Then the Watcher happened and that piece was ripped from her and cast away, she died. Like you did. I can see it, the spark; the diamond is gone from both of you. The gold and sapphire. The brilliance is gone. It was torn away screaming and shrieking in pain that could stop hearts. And I held my ears because it pained me so badly… but I couldn't shut it out… 'Merciful God please take me away…' She wailed and screamed in my mind, 'I will close my ears and my heart and I will be stone, please God make me stone'. But he didn't. You had wormed your way into her and wrapped her in silk so tightly that it hurt for her breath because suddenly you weren't there. I had to take her away… because if I didn't she would have cracked and shattered and there would be red everywhere… and I couldn't stop it alone. Needed grounding, needed power, needed the White Hat Black Coat. Her Knight of Pentacles."

"That'd be me." Spike said after a long moment of silence. No one spoke and it felt like ages by the time Joce had lifted her head from her hands and there were tear tracks down her pale face. She didn't speak but rather found her iPod, switched on _Bright Eyes-Gold Mine Gutted_, and walked out the door. Dean went to the door and watched her sprint away.

Her lungs burned as she ran and a nasty little voice in her head told her, _'you're running away from all of your problems, just like you always do. You are weak. You are fucking weak!'_ Her chest ached, not from the run but from the awful knowledge that all she had ever done in her wretched life was run. There was a hard ball of salty tears lodged in her throat, and her heart of ice pounded against her aching lungs and ribs. Her legs began to burn and she had to check and see if they were on fire. Everything in her ached and throbbed in sheer pain. Finally she couldn't take it anymore and collapsed to the ground, sobbing until she couldn't breath. She sobbed great, heaving, wracking sobs that shook her whole body and made her gasp for air. She hadn't allowed herself to cry like this for the past month. She knew if she did she would hate herself for being so weak.

"Joce… Joce…" Dean murmured in her ear as he gathered her into his arms, "What happened to us?"

"Everything… aches… and… god… Dean…" she curled up tightly and clutched Dean's coat. "Make the pain stop." He stared at her for a moment and gathered her closer.

"Of course." he asked, voice shaking ever so slightly.

* * *

"'ello Rupes." 

"Spike, how are you?" Giles asked as he settled into his desk chair. On the computer screen in front of him, Spike's image flickered slightly as the bleach blonde lit a cigarette.

"I'm fine. This call isn't about me Rupes."

"Oh?"

"It's about Joce." A chill went up Giles spine and he froze, he wondered what Spike was concerned about, it couldn't be that stupid Unbreakable Vow.

"What's wrong?"

"Were you aware that Alex was a reader when you picked her up?"

"Well there had be little episodes but she wasn't spectacularly powerful. She's gleaned information that was either outdated or unimportant."

"That so?"

"Yes, while she stayed here Perkins thought that we could help her become saner if she was more able to access her abilities and utilize them, rather than have them come at inopportune moments. It worked, not as well as we had hoped but she did have longer bouts of sanity."

"Did you ever think that you were playing god Rupes?"

"Spike this is-."

"So you experiment on her, test her, and she isn't good enough for you, so you what? Make her into a super-reader. You're playin' with fire, Rupes."

"Look Spike, I really don't see what this has to do with anything, I've got a meeting with a new corporation that is interested in the Watcher's Council, they want to help. So if we could-."

"Who?" Spike growled.

"Blue Sun I believe. Are you done?"

"Not quite. What did you do to Joce?"

"Nothing that didn't help her, being tied to Hunter, that was not a life she would have wanted-."

"Did you know?" Spike asked.

"Know what? That they fancied themselves in love? Faith had a vague inkling but I highly doubt-."

"Undo it. Undo it or I **will** slaughter all of you. Don't take this threat lightly Rupes, I've been playing White Hat with you… I've been a good little boy but you broke rules, rules that no one should break. You turned Joce and Alex into copies of Dru, not a wise decision, if you think what I did to you with Angelus was bad… it'll be nothing compared to what I'll do to you." Spike closed the connection and Giles knew he had made a mistake. Giles picked up the phone and dialed quickly.

"Undo whatever you did to Jocelyn." He told the person on the other end. There was a moment where they protested, "Just do it."

* * *

"What do you mean?" Dean asked, his voice quaking slightly as he registered what she said. 

"It happened so suddenly. That night I left. It was like…" Joce whispered, "I don't know… Dean it's so confusing. I can't- I can't breath with you near me… it hurts too much, it's like someone ripped out my heart." Dean shuddered; he felt the same damn way. He wished Sammy were here, he would know what it was.

"Look, just push it away, think about something else… we'll figured things out later. Right now we have to-."

"Defeat and kill the evil Scarecrow… well that sounds lame."

"Yeah, well we need to go see this professor at the community college."

"What's there?"

"Information."

* * *

"It's not every day I get a research question on Pagan ideology." The Professor said as he leaned against a desk. Joce and Dean were standing across from him, Joce pushing away a migraine and Dean trying to appear interested. 

"Yeah, well, call it a hobby." Dean said with a shrug.

"But you said you were interested in local lore? So newlyweds?" the Professor asked offhandedly, Joce still wore Dean's ring and they were standing close.

"Mmhmm…" Dean made a noncommittal noise, waiting for the Professor to continue onto something more important.

"Yes, and we are madly in love. Aren't we honeybuns?" The Professor raised an eyebrow but didn't make further comment, however Dean caught on to what they were actually talking about and glared at Joce after nodding absently.

"I'm afraid Indiana isn't really known for its Pagan worship." The Professor stated dryly.

"Well, what if it was imported? You know, like the Pilgrims brought their religion over. Wasn't a lot of this area settled by immigrants?"

Joce rolled her eyes and turned her gaze to look at Dean, he looked good, better then she did. Joce felt like crap, like she had a bad cold and didn't get any sleep. Dean, as if sensing her gaze, turned his hazel eyes to meet her gray pair. A slow sensual smile stretched across his face and Joce felt her stomach drop, how could his smile affect her like this? Her heart ached for him but at the same time she felt miles away from him. Dean grabbed her hand and squeezed it; oblivious to the pain it caused her. But when he met her eyes again she saw the same aching pain reflected in them. How was it that they could be so in… like, she daren't say love, and yet have it cause them so much pain?

"Well, yeah."

"Like that town near here, Burkitsville. Where are their ancestors from?" Joce watched the Professor and he seemed to be getting anxious, but she was tired, she would normally be sleeping now, so she brushed off the feelings.

"Uh, northern Europe, I believe, Scandinavia."

"What could you tell me about those Pagan gods?"

"Well, there are hundreds of Norse gods and goddesses." Dean glanced over at Joce and Joce shrugged.

"I'm actually looking for one. Might live in an orchard." The Professor nodded and got up, Joce leaned over as he was looking through a bookshelf.

"Oh my god. Could you **be** anymore obvious?"

"What about you, are you trying to get us killed?" she hissed at him.

"Did you honestly call me Honey-buns?"

"Would you rather it be Sugar Cakes?" by now they were nose to nose, angrily whispering to each other, luckily the Professor was still looking for the book and he hadn't seemed to notice Dean and Joce.

"Can I kiss you?" Dean asked suddenly in the middle of their fight.

"What? I-." Dean cut her off by planting his lips against hers, Joce sank into the kiss, even as something inside of her told her not to. Dean was touching her face gently, almost reverently and Joce skimmed her fingers up his arm to his neck, feeling his blood pulse against his neck.

"_Ahem_." The Professor put a large book down and they broke away from each other. He opened it up and waited patiently while Dean and Joce settled. "Woods god, hm? Well, let's see." He began to flip through the pages but Dean stopped him.

"Wait, wait, wait. What's that one?" Joce leaned forward and shuddered.

"Oh, that's not a woods god, per se."

"The V-Vanir?" He asked, the Professor nodded. "The Vanir were Norse gods of protection and prosperity, keeping the local settlements safe from harm. Some villages built effigies of the Vanir in their fields. Other villages practiced human sacrifice. One male, and one female." Dean turned to Joce. "Kind of looks like a scarecrow, huh?"

"I suppose." Joce is on edge now, she doesn't like where this is going.

"This particular Vanir that's energy sprung from the sacred tree?"

"Well, Pagans believed all sorts of things were infused with magic."

"So what would happen if the sacred tree was torched? You think it'd kill the god?"

"Son, these are just legends we're discussing." The Professor said while laughing. Joce smiled, silently despising the man.

"Oh, of course. Yeah, you're right. Listen, thank you very much." Dean said as he shook the man's hand. Joce stayed slightly behind Dean, the Professor behind her.

"Glad I could help." The Professor says as he picks up a leaden paperweight. Dean opens the door and the Sheriff is there, he knocks Dean out using his gun as the Professor gives Joce a solid whack with the paperweight. They exchange looks, as the pair lay unmoving on the ground, blood seeps onto the carpet from the wound on Joce's head.

"You idiot!" the Sheriff growls, "She's damaged goods now… we'll have to put her out there… hopefully he'll take her… but he if doesn't then we need a back-up."

* * *

Dean groaned as he came around its too dark for him to see so he waits to hear Joce breathing. He hopes to god it's just him, because her breathing is sounding a little erratic as if she's cold. The cellar door swings open and Emily, the girl he had interviewed, is there. She's being held by her aunt and uncle and sobbing. Dean turns his eyes towards where Joce is lying on the floor. She beyond pale and shivering. Her hands and feet are tied and her black hair fans around her but it looks darker, wetter in certain places. That's when he notices the pooling of blood around her head. 

"Aunt Stacy. Uncle Harley, _please_. Why are you doing this?" Emily asks as they bring her down the stairs and put her next to Dean.

"For the common good." Stacy says calmly and closes the door. Dean goes to Joce, fumbling around for a moment as his eyes are still adjusting.

"Joce? Babe? You gotta wake up. Can you hear me?"

"Is she okay?"

"I don't know… they must have hit her pretty hard… the bleeding's stopped though. Joce?" Dean leaned down and pulled her into a sitting position, he took off his jacket and pulled it around her. "I don't get why they took you too, probably because Vanir wouldn't take someone who was damaged in anyway. Thank god, no offense." He lies Joce down on the ground and stands up.

"I don't understand. They're gonna kill us?" Emily asks as Dean tries the door and fails.

"Sacrifice us. Which is, I don't know, classier, I guess? You really didn't know anything about this, did you?" He feels bad for her but he's more worried about Joce.

"About what? The scarecrow god? I can't believe this." Emily shook her head and knelt next to Joce. "I think she'll be fine."

"Well, you better start believing, cause I'm gonna need your help."

"Okay."

"Now, we can destroy the scarecrow, but we gotta find the tree.

"What tree?"

"Maybe you can help me with that. It would be really old. The locals would treat it with a lot of respect, you know, like it was sacred."

"There was this one apple tree. The immigrants brought it over with them. They call it the First Tree." There's reverence in her tone that Dean hates.

"Is it in the orchard?"

"Yeah, but I don't know where." It's then that the cellar door swings open and the four elders are there.

"It's time." Stacy says, Dean watches two unfamiliar men pick up the still Joce. Stacy checks her pulse. "Strong. If Vanir doesn't want her… she'll live. But not for long."

In the Orchard they first tie Joce to the other side of the tree that Dean is tied too, then they tie Emily to another tree.

"How many people have you killed, Sheriff? How much blood is on your hands?" Dean asked as he struggled slightly.

"We _don't_ kill them." The Sheriff's voice is angry and quiet.

"No, but you sure cover up after. I mean, how many cars have you hidden, clothes have you buried?" Dean asks as the sheriff walks away.

"Uncle Harley, please." Emily pleads.

"I am so sorry, Em. I wish it wasn't you."  
"Try to understand. It's our responsibility. And there's just no other choice. There's nobody else but you." Stacy inputs.

"I'm your family."

"Sweetheart, that's what sacrifice means. Giving up something you love for the greater good. The town needs to be safe. The good of the many outweighs the good of the one." Stacy says just before they walk away, Dean stares at them incredulously.

"I hope your apple pie is freakin' worth it!" His beyond pissed, all this for what? Nothing. If he stretches he can just barely touch Joce's shoulder, she feels warm and alive under his hand, although a little cooler then normal. Her shoulder trembles under his fingers and her breath puffs in little clouds in the air.

"So, what's the plan?" Emily asks

"I'm workin' on it."

* * *

Hours pass and Dean still hasn't gotten a plan formulated. Joce is starting to stir beneath his hand though. 

"You don't have a plan, do you?" Emily sounds defeated but Dean knows if Joce comes around in time they'll be fine.

"I'm workin' on it. Can you see?" he growled out, trying to keep the panic from his voice.

"What?" Dean rolls his eyes, but answers her anyway.

"Is he moving yet?" he prods his fingers as Joce begins to moan. "Joce? Wake up." He hisses to her.

"I… _where_?" she murmured, still out of it.

"I can't see." Just barely out of Dean's sight a shadow flickers around the trees and Emily begins to freak out. **"Oh my God.**" Dean begins to struggle to untie his ropes as the shadow moves closer. Emily has gotten louder._** "Oh my God!"**_ Dean can feel Joce beginning to struggle with her ropes as Sam appears.

"Dean?" Sam calls out.

"Oh! Oh, I take everything back I said. I'm **so** happy to see you. Come on." Dean can barely help himself; he cannot keep the joy out of his voice as Sam begins to untie him and Joce from the tree. "How'd you get here? How does Joce look? I can't see…"

"I, uh—I stole a car. Joce? Are you all right? You look a little pale."

"Haha! That's my boy!" Dean says happily as he wraps an arm around Joce. "And keep an eye on that scarecrow. He could come alive any minute." He tells Sam as Sam unties Emily.

"What scarecrow?" Sam asks, Dean gets up and his eyes widen. The scarecrows stand is empty. He exchanges glances with Sam as Joce goes ramrod straight.

"Oh shit… that cannot be good… let's get the hell out of here." Joce says in a low voice. Sam helps her walk as they make a run for it. As they run they talk.

"Alright, now, this sacred tree you're talking about-." Sam asks.

"It's the source of its power." Dean cuts in.

"So let's find it and burn it." Sam says as Joce stumbles slightly against him, "Are you-?"

"Fine." She hissed as the continued on.

"Nah, in the morning. Let's just shag ass before Leather Face catches up." As they reach the clearing the four elders and some of the other townspeople are waiting. Dean pushes his panic back and turns. "This way." He says, but they are blocked in all directions.

"Please. Let us go." Emily pleads to Harley.

"It'll be over quickly, I promise." He responds.

"Please."

"Emily, you have to let him take you. You have to." Harley is cut off when the scarecrow shoves his sickles through Harley's stomach, both Emily and Stacy scream. Within seconds the scarecrow captures Stacy. Emily runs into Dean's arms as the scarecrow drag them away and the rest of the townspeople run in horror.

"Come on, let's go." Dean says and the make a dash for the road. Outside of the orchard they look back in but the scarecrow and its victims are not where to be found.

* * *

"Where's Joce?" Sam asks as Dean, Emily and he walk to the sacred tree with gas and a lighter. 

"With Spike. She has a concussion and Spike agreed to watch her. Although I'm sure they're sparring instead. She's become this… maniac about keeping up with slaying." Dean explains while Sam douses the tree. Dean lights a branch on fire but Emily takes it from him.

"Let me."

"You know, the whole town's gonna die." Dean says carefully.

"**Good**." Emily states angrily before throwing the branch onto the tree, the three of them watch the sacred tree go up in flames, all of them wearing satisfied smiles.

* * *

Joce is pacing the room when they get back. Spike is nowhere to be seen and neither is Alex. 

"Isn't Spike supposed to be watching you?" Dean bites out with contempt.

"I'm fine. Slayer healing." Joce said as she continued packing.

"Where are you running off to?" Dean asked as Sam surreptitiously slipped out of the room. Joce glanced up at him.

"Excuse you?"

"You heard me, you're running again. You always run away, what are you so scared of?"

"Nothing. Certainly not the big bad hunter." Joce snarled out as she glanced at her vibrating cell phone. Faith. It was Faith. She shoved it into her pocket and continued packing.

"Don't lie Joce." Dean's voice was low and deadly, his voice held the hint of a growl.

"I'm not lying, Dean." She hissed.

"Funny, because that sounds a lot like lying to me."

"Oh you would know, wouldn't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"What the hell do you think it means?"

"Damnit Joce! Don't you see? You get in my head! Turn me around so goddamn much that I don't know which way is up!" Joce had put her hand to her mouth and had a stricken look on her face.

"Dean, I-."

"You what, Joce? You know what? I don't give a damn about what you have to say or what my father or Sam has to say about it… but I love you. That's all there is to it, I don't know if someone can fall in love like this but if they can then… then I love you. So what now?"

"I… I don't know. I don't know if this will work. I don't know if I love you." Dean jerks away from her, his face stricken with sadness and pain.

"How could you not know? How could you be so unsure… isn't there anything? _A spark?_ Or a flipping of your stomach? Is there _nothing_?" he whispers. Tears spring to Joce's eyes and she sniffles.

"Dean… it's not all that-." She breaks off, a funny look on her face. She goes pale and sits down heavily. Her hand it at her forehead. "Oh… I don't… I…" Her eyes meet Dean's and he sees something pass through them, as if he's seeing Spike's soul. But it's different, it looks like a defiant glint of immense, uncontrollable passion, and for a moment her eyes are his. He blinks and the moment is gone. "What happens now?" she asks quietly.

"I… I don't know." He admits. She's shaking still so Dean drapes his jacket around her too thin frame. He wonders if she's been eating properly. He sighs and sits down on the bed next to her. "What now?"

"I don't know Dean… I think… I think I ought to call Faith back." Her eyes glimmer with new knowledge and she puts her phone on speaker as it rings.

"Hey Joce! I was just trying to-."

"What did you do Faith?" There is a hint of nervousness to Faith's voice when she answers.

"Nothing Joce, what are you talking about?"

"Faith… please just tell me…."

"I… I told Giles about that Unbreakable Vow thing and he broke it, okay? What's the big deal, it's not like it killed you. Anyway he just fixed it…"

"Faith I didn't ask you to meddle in my life. I don't want to speak to you until I'm ready to. Goodbye Faith."

"Wait-." But Joce hangs up anyway. There's a long silence where Joce and Dean only stare at the phone.

"That's what messed us up. That's what Alex meant earlier. I guess when you enacted the Vow it… well it gave us pieces of each other. And because I'm a Slayer when it was broken I felt it more… I needed more guidance and care then anyone human could give me, so Alex had to take me to someone who gives me that care… Spike. Dean… that Vow made us connected. And when the connection broke everything went downhill.

"So it made us like… soul mates?"

"Or something like it." She bites her lip and gnaws on it for a second. "I just… well do we make the connection again?"

"Well yeah." Dean says with a shrug.

"I don't know, Dean… it's a pretty big sacrifice for both of us…"

"Come on Joce… Faith said they fixed it."

"It doesn't feel right still… I mean before it was like there was a hum. Now there's just… _nothing_…" Dean met her gray eyes, his hazel pair wide and full of emotion. Joce blinked, realizing he was only inches away. He look exhausted, Joce hadn't noticed it before, but there were light bruises of dark purple under his eyes as well as bags. There was a five-o-clock shadow across his jaw, chin, and upper lip. She followed that strong jaw-line back to his eyes. She could see the sparks of gold in his bright eyes.

Joce was studying Dean's face the way she never had before. His aristocratic nose had a smattering of freckles if she squinted. There were little crinkles around his eyes, at 26 he was developing laugh and frown lines already. Most of them to her dismay were frown lines if she squinted hard enough. His generously full mouth was screwed up in a frown, the skin slightly chapped from driving with the window open but they still appealed to her none-the-less. His normally spike-y dirty blonde locks were flatter with a day's worth of grime and sweat. When he blinked his sooty lashes fell against the swell of his cheekbones.

Joce had never truly appreciated Dean's beauty, at this moment with the afternoon sun piercing through the thin curtains to fall lazily and caressingly to illuminate his face she could only think one thing: that he just had to be some ethereal being rather than a human. She wondered why she had never looked at him like this but could only come up with one answer, she had been foolishly afraid that if she did, she would find that she fancied herself in love with him. She felt rotten, dirty, and undeserving of him, and she also felt ugly next to him. But his molten eyes met hers once more and she had to bite her tongue not to say anything she might regret. Something past through them, something she recognized in her own gaze.

She closed the gap between them, capturing his lower lip in a playful nip with her teeth. Without realizing it she was whispering his name over and over again reverently as her lips fumbled against his. Her name burst from his lips in a loving mantra or a prayer, "Joce… _oh god_… Joce, I love you…" Her hand skimmed beneath his shirt, catching on sweaty silk skin and taut muscles. Joce made her final decision as he caught her hand with his ring with his own. Warmth spread from their intertwined hands across their bodies, and jolted them with lust.

Her breath caught in her throat and she tilted said appendage as Dean's lips moved from lips to chin, across the jaw in nips of breathless passion before pressing gently against her jugular. She breathed in the scent of fire from his hair, clothes, and skin. For a moment she tasted ashes but shook that moment off as Dean's mouth went lower to her collarbone. Her synapses fire frantically in her brain, hardly able to cope as nerves frizzled and electricity jolted her frenzied heartbeat. Her skin went aflame as his fingers danced across her naked spine, the fire spreading the whole way. "Dean... oh **god**... _love you_..." she murmured almost incoherently.

She was vaguely away of her own ragged breathing and Dean's growling voice as he politely asked her to get his belt off. Skin! Skin! Skin! Her mind gasped and whispered over and over as she slides her hands over every flawless golden silk and raised silvery scars. Dean tugs her tight pants over her hips while simultaneously kicking off his worn pair and dragging his mouth against her deliciously. She catches sight of the juxtapose of their bodies, warm golden sun and pale ivory moonlight, in the mirror but tears her eyes away when Dean nips harshly at her shoulder.

Joce knows she has made her bed, and now she very willingly lies in it too.

* * *

Her pillow is moving, that is her first thought. Her second is that it sounds like a chainsaw. She shifts but an arm tightens around her midsection. 

"Mmm… g'mornin' darlin'." Dean's voice is thick with sleep and satisfaction. He nuzzles her hair and squeezes her closer. Joce twists so she's facing him. His normally luminous eyes are clouded with sleep and he looks adorable. A smile curls his lips as he blinks back the sleep.

"Sleep well?" he purrs out, his eyes fixed on her hair. Joce reaches a careful hand to feel it. Quickly she leaps out of bed and into the bathroom. Before she can do anything about it there is a knock. Joce pulls on her robe and cracks the door open. Sam stands there with a bag in one hand and a cardboard tray with two coffee cups bearing the Starbucks logo. He blinks at her and she to him. A slow, cocky smile spreads over his face.

"I mean I heard you and all last night but I didn't think it was **that** good. Nice sex hair." He says wryly, eyes catching her satisfied posture, glazed eyes, and sex hair. She blushes.

"Oh shut up. We honestly tried to be quiet…" Dean says as he opens the door more. A sheet is wrapped around his lithe waist and is dipping dangerously low. "Oooh, I smell bagels and coffee. Thanks, Sammy… you're a Saint." He says while grabbing the bag and tray. He drops a kiss on Joce's cheek and shuffles back inside leaving Joce still awkwardly blushing.

"Y-you heard us?" she whispers.

"I think the whole motel heard you… and then some. Hey, be carefully with him, he's still fragile right now. I need him to watch my ass." Sam calls as he walks away. "Oh, and guys, I want to leave soon… so if you're going to go for it again, make sure it's quick." He winks at Joce and disappears into the other room.

* * *

Joce watches Emily get onto a bus to Boston as she leans against the Impala. Impatiently she watches Sam and Dean walk slowly back to the car. As the come closer she can hear their conversation. 

"So, can I drop you off somewhere?" Dean asks Sam.

"No, I think you're stuck with me." Sam replies with a wide grin on his face and his bright green eyes fall on her. "Although I'm sure Joce would rather I left."

"Just a little bit, Sammy. But then whom would I turn to when Dean is injured? I'm not that great of a medic." Joce says while cocking her head.

"Ha ha." Dean says, "Very funny. What made you change your mind?"

"I didn't. I still wanna find Dad. And you're still a pain in the ass. But, Jess and Mom—they're both gone. Dad is God knows where. You and me. We're all that's left. So, if we're gonna see this through, we're gonna do it together." Dean pauses to think on this as Joce slides into the back seat, almost immediately she curls up like a cat and snuggles into her pillow.

"Hold me, Sam. That was beautiful." Dean says while putting his hand on Sam's shoulder. Sam swats his hand away and they share a laugh.

"You should be kissing my ass, you were dead meat, dude." They simultaneously Dean glances back at Joce and smiles.

"Yeah, right. I had a plan, I'd have gotten out. I would have used my Amazon Woman." Joce peaks one eye open and sits up.

"Right." She chirps at the same time as Sam. Dean pauses for a moment.

"You know what, Sammy? How about **you **drive. I want some time with my girl." Dean tosses the keys at Sam, whose face is displaying shock very nicely, and climbs in back with Joce. Joce snuggles up to him and Dean grins impishly while waggling his eyebrows. "So what do you say about-."

_"Dean!"_ Sammy growls and chucks a tape at him. Dean scowls.

"Fine." he mumbles and curls closer to Joce.

Inside Spike's DeSoto Alex and Spike high-five each other as they watch the Impala drive away.

* * *

A/N: well yay! Ive fixed the chapters how I want them now. Some a bit more than others but oh well. Now I must go and do actually homework. God senior year sucks. 


	10. Agenda Suicide

Title: Stricken

Author: TigerTiger02

Chapter Title: Agenda Suicide

Summary: Joce and Dean have sex, Joce nearly dies, Joce and Dean Fight. And Sammy does something crazy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Not the songs I've mentioned. Not the Supernatural characters or the Buffy/Angel characters I've mentioned. The only thing I own is this story, Joce, and Alex.

Spoilers: Chosen and Dead in the Water to current episodes.

Dedication: to hotgurl14 for giving me courage to right a sex scene. Only a tastefully done one.

Note: **Bold** in paragraph form is a flashback. _Italics_ are dreams.

* * *

Joce snuggled into Dean's warm body, listening to his heart beat loudly in her ear. She loved this. She loved being curled up next to him and she loved his heartbeat lulling her to sleep. It was a strong heartbeat, there was no falter, and yet it sped up every time she was near him, if only for a few seconds. 

She rested her hand lightly on his chest, feeling his breath whoosh in and out, and his heart thump comfortingly against her palm. Dean mumbled something and moved a bit, causing his face to move into a shaft of sunlight. Joce smiled and slipped out of his tight grasp, shutting the curtains completely with a firm jerk. The room got slightly darker and Joce cocked her head, watching Dean sleep. He looked sated… then again he always looks sated these days.

Joce smiled and slowly pulled on her clothing. She would only be gone a few minutes for some breakfast from the diner a few blocks down the road. She ended up wearing her dusty jeans from a particularly odd fight with a vampire in a volleyball court, one of Dean's shirts, and a black zip-up hoodie. She bent down and pressed her lips gently against Dean's.

"Mmm… where're you goin'?" he murmured with eyes in slits as he stared up at her.

"Breakfast."

"Take the Impala." Was his last coherent sentence before he rolled over and went back to sleep. With the keys in hand she trotted to the car, lighting a cigarette on the way.

When she arrived back Dean was in the shower and singing at the top of his lungs, _"When I get high I get high on speed, Top fuel funny car's a drug for me, My heart, my heart Kickstart my heart, Always got the cops Coming after me, Custom built bike doing 103 My heart, my heart, Kickstart my heart!"_ Grinning impishly she shed her clothing and slipped quietly inside the bathroom.

Inside Dean was still singing the second verse. She slipped inside the shower and wrapped her arms around Dean's soaped up body. He started slightly and glanced back, a lascivious smile crossing his face. He turned in her grasp easily. "Hey…" he murmured eyes heavy with lust. A small smirk lit his face and she took a step back, dropping her arms. He took a step forward and she countered with another step back, the impish smile still fixed on her face even as her back thumped against the cold wall of the shower. She shivered in anticipation of Dean's next move. He closed the distance between them and kissed her languorously. His strong hands rested on her shoulders for a spare moment before slowly moving downward to cup her breasts.

Joce wantonly tossed back her head and moaned, quite loudly as a matter of fact. Dean's teeth nipped at her neck and traveling downward until Joce gave a cry of pleasure and her nails dug into his shoulders. From his position Dean looked up, his full mouth stretching into a wolfish grin and his hazel eyes sparkling darkly with mirth and desire. Dean stood straighter (pun intended) at her glazed-over-with-pleasure eyes and the high flush on her cheeks.

"Ready?" he whispered in her ear as he pressed against her hips.

"God… yes… please… what? I…. _oh god_… Dean! Hurry!" she babbled as he pressed her tightly against the shower wall, brought her legs around his waist, and pushed into her in one smooth motion. Joce's eyes rolled up into her head, showing only the whites, and her babble continued only with added moans and cries of gratification.

For several minutes the world fell away from Joce and she was caught in a hurricane of gratuitous sex. She closed her eyes as colors and bright lights swirled in her vision. Dean's mouth near her ear issued a series of pants and grunts. But then his face was buried in her neck as her world exploded into white-hot light. "Yes! Yes! Yes!" she shrieked and Dean raised her 'yes' with a _'oh goddamn yes'_.

They slumped to the floor, the steady stream of water now icicle cold and Joce gave a shaky laugh. "**Wow**…" she murmured. "I don't think I need just a cigarette… I need a whole damn pack!" Dean laughed.

"Did you get food?"

"Mmm-hmmm…."

"Good. We're gonna need it." He purred and pulled her closer.

* * *

Joce laid in the backseat on the Impala. She felt afraid, but she couldn't tell anyone why. There was a weight in her stomach, heaviness in her heart. Sam and Dean had gone inside the abandoned house to take on a rawhead. Dean had shoved her back into the car, gently of course, "You don't need to see this, stay here. Be safe. I love you." he pressed a gentle kiss on her lips and squeezed her hand. So Joce sat in wait, her eyes trained on the door to the house. 

The door slammed open with a loud crunch and creak. Joce straightened and carefully maneuvered herself out of the car when she saw the two small children running down the steps. "Hey there, you guys aren't hurt are you?" she asked as Sam followed them. A frown marred her pretty face. "Sammy, where's Dean?" she asked, her voice going hysterical.

"Don't worry, Joce, why don't you feed them, Dean and I will be out in a couple of minutes." Sam said in a rush before dashing back inside the house.

Seconds after Sam had disappeared inside the house, and the two children were buckled and eating their happy meals, Joce doubled over. A cry of pain tore through her clenched teeth and she fell to her knees onto the ground. Agony shot through her ribs, but even worse was the sudden jolt to her heart and the seizing of all of her muscles. Even as her mind vehemently denied that Dean could be hurt, her heart knew better.

"Stay here!" she shouted at the children. "Lock the doors."

She stumbled to the door, her whole body trembling with sudden fatigue and exhaustion. Her legs almost gave out when she reached the door to the basement. Her heart ached fiercely in her chest. As she clung to the railing, gaining splinters in her hands, Joce nearly pitched headfirst down the stairs. At the bottom her knees gave out and she realized that she was crying.

_"Oh God!"_ she screamed, "_Dean_…_** oh God no!"**_ Sam whirled around, talking rapidly to the 911 operator.

"Please hurry." He said and clicked the cell phone off. "Joce… don't… don't touch him. I have to perform CPR." Joce covered her mouth, her whole body trembling. Tears rolled down her face at a steady rate and all the while she was aware of the sudden throbbing ache in her heart, and the fact that suddenly she couldn't get enough air.

She watched, almost detached as Sam performed CPR on her lover. Dimly she realized that there was a commotion outside. And then she was being forcibly moved. She realized that Sam was saying something and they were taking away Dean on a stretcher.

"_Oh god_… no… no this **can't** be happening!" she cried out. She turned to Sam, hoping desperately that he would grin and say, "Just kidding!" Instead he turned his green eyes away.

"She can ride with him… they're… they're engaged…" And then she was bent over Dean, her numb hand clinging tightly to his cold one. She realized she was saying something and her tears rained down on his slack face.

"Baby… _please_ come back… I'm not ready to let go… Dean? Remember the plans we haven't made yet? Remember your mission? Oh God, Dean _please_ don't leave me." She whispered before a paramedic politely shoved her away and began to hook him up to various machines.

* * *

Joce hasn't seen Dean since the ambulance ride. It hurts too much to move, it hurt too much to see what used to be such a lively person lying still, his breathing the only indication that he's alive. But mostly it just hurts; her whole body feels like it's being poked with thousands of needles. She knows what this is; it isn't shock like the nurse says it is. It's her body dying. She is now slowly dying, because if Dean dies, she does. It seems a little Romeo and Juliet, and beyond dramatic, but that's what happens when you dabble in powerful magic. She can't believe it's taken her this long to figure out why they were suddenly so… connected. He made that vow, and all the little magical amulets and possibly the PTB's found it fitting that that vow become true. She hates them. She doesn't know if what she is feeling is really love or just some feeling constructed by the PTB. 

Stupidly she realizes her cell phone is ringing, Modern Swingers by The Pink Spiders plays, and is slightly warbled.

"Hello?" she voice is a mere croak.

"Joce? Cor love, you sound horrible."

"Dean's been hurt." There is a long silence and then Spike speaks once more.

"What happened?" he says, immediately avoiding the topic of what might happen her. She feels like she'll die but… at the same time, how could the Powers do that? But then again many Slayers have known the Powers to hand the shit end of the stick.

"There was… this rawhead… and Dean and Sam went in with tasers… oh God… Spike, he… they're not sure what happened. He was so pale and so cold… I'm scared."

"Cor… Joce… I'll be there in ten minutes. Just… _pray_." Joce gave a hollow laugh.

"How can I pray when I know that my prayers will go unanswered?" For a moment all she could hear was the sound of Spike inhaling sharply on a cigarette then…

"I don't know."

* * *

Spike stalks into the ER and immediately squints against the harsh, artificial light. He scans the waiting room and spots the lanky form of the younger Winchester boy. He filters out the background noise and tunes his hearing to the Doctor and Sam's conversation. The soul can't even fault him for listening in.

"Hey, Doc. Is he—?" there's a sharp edge to Sam's tone.

"He's resting."

"And?" Sam presses.

"The electrocution triggered a heart attack. Pretty massive, I'm afraid. His heart—it's damaged." Spike clenches his hands into fists, damn. Even now with all of the breakthroughs in modern medicine they still can't heal a heart.

"How damaged?" there's a slight tremble to the boy's voice.

"We've done all we can. We can try and keep him comfortable at this point. But, I'd give him a couple weeks, at most, maybe a month." Spike immediately hates this doctor.

"No, no. There's—there's gotta be something you can do, some kind of treatment." He sounds so desperate. Vaguely Spike realizes that there is a small hand of nurse on his arm, his nose burns with the smell of her perfume and the hospital. She saying something to him but he tunes her out.

"We can't work miracles. I really am sorry."

Spike takes his focus away from the conversation, brushes the cute nurse off his arm, and strides to where Joce is probably huddled. Of course that's if his sense of smell is completely deadened by the stench of death in this hellhole.

She's sobbing as the same Doctor tells her the same crap he told Sam. He extends his fake sympathies and leaves but not before making sure Joce swallows three little, white pills.

"Oh Joce…" Spike murmurs and crouches before her. Joce immediately latches onto him.

"Oh Spike… I'm so scared."

"I know, I was too when I was faced with my demise… even that night in the ally I was terrified." Joce jerks back, her face pale and streaked with tears.

"No… I'm not afraid to die… I just don't think… I mean its Dean." Spike frowns.

"Ah… Joce… I know how you feel. I do… when Buffy died-." Spike chokes on his words for a moment but continues. "I counted the days, the weeks, and the months she had been dead. It hurts. A lot. _And it doesn't heal_." Joce buries her face in his neck.

"I don't want to live like that." Spike pulls away this time, shaking his head.

"No love, you have to… Dean wouldn't want you to mourn him… but live." There's a sad smile on Spike's face and Joce is immediately struck by how much he's seen and how long he's lived. And now with the soul there must be the weight of a million worlds on his shoulders.

"It just hurts so much." Joce averts her eyes. "I… take me back to the hotel." On the way to the exit they bump into Sam.

"Hey, where are you going? Don't you want to-Joce? Are you alright?" Spike tugs her closer and Joce keeps her head bowed.

"She's… a little out of it now. They gave her sedatives." Sam frowns.

"Dean would want to see her… you know…" Spike bristles as Joce slumps further into him. Before he can speak Joce speaks. Her voice is rough and tired.

"Sam… I can't… it hurts too much. I love him too much… tell him I'm sorry… tell him I'll come by soon… I just need to…" Sam nods.

"I get it, Joce. But it would probably help if you were there for him." His voice is harsh and Joce flinches.

"I can't do this Sam. Tell him how much I love him." Sam's face softens.

"It's hard… I know… and I know you're not only feeling emotional pain but physical as well… I'm sorry."

* * *

Sam tries not to notice how sickly Dean looks, how pale and dead. He feels the urge to grasp Dean's hand but knows his brother will yank his hand away. Dean turns his attention away from the TV and frowns. 

"Where's Joce?" he asks weakly. Sam dreaded this question but knew he had to answer.

"She's… resting."

"What do you mean 'resting'?" Dean asks with narrowed eyes. Sam fidgets minutely.

"Dean… remember when I told you that Unbreakable Vow shit would come back and bite you in the ass?" Dean's frown deepens.

"Kinda."

"She's… in a lot of pain. The doctor's assumed it was just shock, thank god, but I looked into her eyes Dean… they had to get her a sedative. She's safe, she's with Spike." Dean's mouth thins in anger.

"This is all my fault."

"No Dean… it's not. I should have been there."

"Shut up Sam." Sam snaps his mouth shut. There is a long moment and then Dean speaks again, "Have you ever actually watched daytime TV? It's terrible." Sam sighs of course, and for a moment the world is right.

* * *

Joce laid in her bed, no her and Dean's bed. Her heart aches and every once in awhile there is a sudden sharp pain. It rips through her and leaves her gasping for air. But other then that she lies still. Her face is buried in Dean's pillow, as she lies on his side of the bed. She can't seem to stop crying. A sudden thought occurs to her. Dean's father doesn't know. She's sure Sam has tried to reach him but it's unlikely that he picked up, would he pick up if it were a number he didn't recognize? She sat up and dialed the number that had stuck in her mind from nearly six months ago. 

For a long moment there is silence. And then it starts to ring. Suddenly there is a voice.

"Hello?" it gruff and sleep roughened and Joce is glad she caught him just coming out of sleep.

"Hello… erm you don't know me, Mr. Winchester. But I've been traveling with your sons and helping them out. I'm a Slayer so… it's kinda in my job description-."

"Sorry you have-."

"No. I don't. I know it's you, with all due respect sir. But I think you're a shitty father. And this is coming from a girl who never had a father. Sir, if I can say my piece I won't tell Dean or Sam that I've managed to contact you. And in all rights I should but I won't because I respect your right to privacy. Got that?"

"Fine. I'm listening." The voice on the other end said with begrudging acceptance.

"Good. My name is Jocelyn Croft. I am 25 years of age. And I'm in love with your son… Dean that is-."

"Miss Croft-."

"No! I'm not done yet! Dean is sick… he's dying. He's willing to accept death but Sam isn't. I'm not either. I'm not ready to let him go, and while that may be selfish, I don't care. Not when I love him so much it hurts at times. I wasted almost four months trying to fight against something that was natural. God only knows that I tried not to love him, I don't deserve him at all. He's precious to me and he's a gift. God I sound like some shitty soap opera. Mr. Winchester, you loved Mary didn't you? So you know what's like to have someone ripped away from you. I don't want to lose Dean. I can't take that pain; he's my rock. So I'm asking you- _no begging you_ to tell me anything that might help him." There was a long pause.

"There is an option. But I want you to do something for me."

"Anything."

"So I have your solemn promise?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I want you to leave."

"I'm not sure I understand."

"I want you to leave as soon as you give Sam this information and never return." Joce choked back a sob.

"I… you mean… just leave?"

"Yes."

"But-."

"Jocelyn, the love you think you have is just a figment of your imagination."

"I don't-."

"The Powers That Be, planted it there. When Dean did that Vow spell, which I doubt he even realized it was a spell. The Powers created a 'love' between you to make sure he would carry out his promise. Do you really want to live out your life as a lie? Do you really want to deceive Dean like that? It's better if you just leave, he'll be fine. You'll both find someone you really love and forget all of this nonsense."

Joce swallowed the salty lump in her throat. She knew what she had to do.

"Mr. Winchester… I've made my decision… I will…"

* * *

Joce knocked on Sam's door politely. He opened the door, his chocolate hair messy and sticking up wildly. His eyes were slightly glazed and he needed to shave. 

"Sam… I found something."

"You did? Who told you? What is it?"

"Uhm… Spike mentioned it… it's er… about some guy in Nebraska-."

"Oh! I got that too from one of my father's friends."

"Ah… I see… but it seems like it's worth checking out."

"Yes, you think so?"

"Oh yeah." Sam's eyes danced happily.

"Awesome Joce! This is going to be… Dean will be so happy!"

"Yeah… yeah he will…" Sam was so excited that he didn't even noticed Joce's tone.

"I cannot wait to tell him!"

"Sam… I'm really tired. So I'm going to go to sleep now. Good night Sam."

"Of course, Joce! Night!" Joce was sure the poor boy had too much coffee.

She made her way to her own room, shared with Spike and Alex. Spike's pale, angular face was solemn. Alex was fidgeting and she didn't look happy. Joce is throwing her clothing in her bag but Alex keeps taking it out.

"Come on guys. I made a deal… I **will** honor that deal."

"You threw away love." Alex whispers as she folds a pair of jeans and sets it down on one of the pillows

"No. I didn't. It was nothing. None of it was real. Just a set up by the Powers." Joce said with a hard face as she takes the pair of jeans and throws them in her duffle bag.

_"Who are you tryin' to convince, love? Us… or yourself._" There was a flinty glint of something in Joce's eyes after Spike says this and takes her shaking hands.

"You know nothing Spike. Dean might be upset for a while but it's best this way. He'll get over it. He'll be fine." Spike shook his head as she ripped her hands from his.

"And what about you?" Alex asks as she finally takes all of Joce's clothing out of the bag and throws it to the floor. "You a fucking wreak Joce! We're not leaving."

"What about me? My feelings aren't real; they don't matter. The only thing that matters is that Dean lives to be happy."

"What about your happiness."

"Like I said it doesn't matter. Can I please finish packing my bag?" Joce asks while stooping to pick up the pile of cloths.

"**No**." Spike said, his accent sharp and angry. He grabbed her wrist and roughly pulled her closer. "I'm **not** letting you fuck up your life because of some middle-aged asshole!"

* * *

Sam helps Dean into a chair and then tells him about what he's been doing lately. 

"I've been scouring the Internet for the last three days. Calling every contact in Dad's journal."

"For what?" Dean's tone is sour and bitter. Sam doesn't flinch but doesn't smile.

"For a way to help you. One of Dad's friends, Joshua, he called me back. Told me about a guy in Nebraska. A specialist."

"You're not gonna let me die in peace, are you?" Dean has a joking tone but both of them know this is no joking matter.

"I'm not gonna let you die, period. We're going."

"Alright, jeez. I'll go. Where is Joce anyway?"

"Oh she was just here ten minutes ago, she was going to sleep but she's probably not sleeping yet. I'll get her. Stay here, take it easy."

"Nah. I'll go, Sammy. I really want to talk to her." Dean says and slowly rises from his chair.

* * *

Joce freezes when there's a knock on the door. 

"Joce? Are you in there? Could you open up?" Dean sounded terrible and Joce wanted to but if he thought that she wasn't here he would leave. Spike started towards the door.

"Don't you-."

"Sorry, love, can't watch you ruin your life." Spike said and flung the door open. "We'll leave you two alone." Spike said and brushed past Dean. Alex met Dean's eyes and smiled a little. She put her hand on his heart and imitated a heartbeat.

"All will be well." She said and also left.

"Joce. Where are you going?" Dean finally asked after he sat down unsteadily in a chair.

"I-I…"

**"Don't lie."**

"Dean… please just hear me out. I… I called your father, hoping he might have some kind of solution. And he did. But I made a deal with him. I promised I would leave you in exchange for the information."

"The same information that Sam got from Joshua."

"Yes but-."

"Don't… don't leave. He was just doing it to get you away from me. Sam got that information easily. He just… he just wants all of my focus on the hunt." Joce met Dean's hazel eyes and she bit her lip.

"But he said what we had wasn't real… it was just a spell reinforced by the Powers That Be. None of this is real. It was that Vow, the Powers formed this fake love between us to make sure you carried out the stipulation of the spell… do you really want to live the rest of your life as a lie Dean?" Dean stood as quickly as he could and took Joce by her shoulders.

"Look at me, damnit Joce! Look at me!" Dean yelled as he took her by the chin. "This, whatever this is between us, be it love or something else. This is real. It doesn't matter what your brain says, it's your heart that matters."

"Dean… why? Why do you care for me? I'm so rotten and bitter… I've lived a harsh life. I'm not going to be sticking around for a very long time. I'm defective! So why do you care about me?" by now Joce had sunk to the floor sobbing, "Why can't you just let me go? I'm useless. I'm worthless and broken and defective."

"Joce, you are perfect. You don't give a damn about what people think. You're beautiful. You're sexy. You're smart. You're kind. And you know how to use a gun. You're perfect for me. Joce… don't go. Don't go because of some stupid deal."

"Don't you see? Everyone and everything is working against us… we aren't meant for this."

"No.** We are.** Just… give us a chance." Joce met Dean's eyes. She took a shallow breath. Her whole body trembled as she contemplated her answer to his question. She wondered if she really could walk away, but the twisting pain in her stomach and a feeling of terrible loss stopped her from thinking further. Finally she parted her lips, licking them gently, and then spoke.

"Only if you will."

"I will." His eyes were sincere and Joce felt an almost painful thrum in her chest. He stood slowly and painfully, "I should stay with Sammy tonight." Almost frantically Joce blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

"No! I mean… can we just lay here and listen to music. I'll play you something relaxing. Please?" her neediness startled both of them and Dean ran through the options in his head. If that healer in Nebraska couldn't help him then these could very well be his last days. He relented.

"Sure."

Joce watch Dean as he eased off his boots. His pants joined the boots on the floor painfully slow motions. As he sighed and climbed under the covers Joce took a moment to drink in the sight of Dean. With a pang she realized that he did look sick.

His skin was pallid and beads of sweat from exertion dotted his forehead. His eyes had a glassy and blank look in them; possibly from whatever pain medication they gave him. The skin underneath his eyes was a bruised lavender color and Joce was struck by how ill he looked. Worry knotted her stomach so she turned her back to him and grabbed her laptop.

Once she was on the bed she quickly opened iTunes and scrolled through her choices.

"Joce… indie music? I do not mix with indie." Dean scoffed. Joce smirked.

"Just give it a listen." A few seconds later the sound of a tambourine jangled from the small speakers.

"No. No. Tambourines? Joce come on, no song with tambourines is good."

"Fine… alright how about this one." When the next song came on Dean listened to it, the techno beat had him intrigued but when he heard the lyrics he immediately shook his head.

"Is this about erections?"

"Erm… yeah… so next song." It was another almost techno song and Dean listened to the lyrics once more.

"Strippers, Joce?"

"What? I like The Faint. At any rate this is a good song to strip to… so I've been told." She coughed and went to change the song.

"Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that you've stripped to this?"

"Once. A long time ago."

"So what do you say to giving me a lap-dance to this song."

"Dean!"

"Yeah we probably should wait a little while…" Dean grumbled but at least there was life in his hazel eyes. Joce was about to change the song but Dean's hand stopped her. It was just the gentle strumming of music but it was obvious that the first few lyrics had caught Dean's attention.

_Love of mine some day you will die  
But I'll be close behind  
I'll follow you into the dark_

_No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white  
Just our hands clasped so tight  
Waiting for the hint of a spark  
If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs_

Dean met Joce's eyes and found tears in them. He pressed a hard kiss to her hair and pulled her closer. He twined their hands together tightly. In his flawless manner he managed to reassure her that he didn't find the song offensive.

_If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

_In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule  
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black  
And I held my tongue as she told me  
"Son fear is the heart of love"  
So I never went back_

Joce ran through her own teaching in her mind. Although being trained from a young age to be a slayer had been nothing like catholic school there was some similarities. For a vague moment she wondered if Dean at age four had any inkling of what a harsh life he had ahead of him. No, of course he didn't. By the time Joce was four she already knew that the monster under the bed was real, and it probably wanted to eat her flesh. By age four she was already making her way to a black belt. Not that at that age she had any sense of martial arts. But she did know one thing, that Hunters generally didn't believe in God.

_If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

_You and me have seen everything to see  
From Bangkok to Calgary  
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down  
The time for sleep is now  
It's nothing to cry about  
Cause we'll hold each other soon  
The blackest of rooms_

Dean wondered if this song was some type of omen of what was to come. He hoped to god or the Powers That Be or whatever that Joce would not follow him into death. That would be just wrong, not to mention ridiculously Romeo and Juliet. He wasn't into that dramatic bullshit. But somehow in the bottom of his heart he knew that the song echoed true. His heart suddenly felt too heavy.

_If Heaven and Hell decide  
That they both are satisfied  
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs_

_If there's no one beside you  
When your soul embarks  
Then I'll follow you into the dark  
Then I'll follow you into the dark_

As the last of song faded Joce shifted from away from Dean and breathed out a heavy sigh. "Talk about ironic." Dean muttered.

"Maybe we shouldn't listen to anymore music." Joce said and placed the laptop on the bedside table. Dean only watched her in silence. As she flitted about the room and changed her clothing, Dean watched her carefully. It wasn't until she was climbing into the bed that he spoke.

"Don't you dare follow me into the dark." He growled and drifted to sleep.

Next to him, as he slept soundly, Joce sobbed into her pillow.

* * *

As Joce sat next to Dean she worried that he would be able to feel the stiffness in her posture. That encounter with the pretty Layla had scrambled her composure. It was obvious that Dean was attracted to her. Joce felt hurt and slighted. Layla was the absolute opposite of Joce. Where Joce had darker features, Layla had bright features. And Joce had noticed that Jess had resembled Sam and Dean's mother. So maybe Dean was the same way. As her stomach churned she barely registered that the Faith Healer had busted Dean. 

"You think so, young man?" the gentle but commanding voice jostled her out of her self-torturing thoughts. Joce can't squelch the feeling of vindictiveness when Dean flushes and splutters and apology.

"Sorry."

"No, no. Don't be. Just watch what you say around a blind man, we've got real sharp ears. What's your name, son?" For a moment its almost as if Dean will bolt, but of course he couldn't.

"Dean."

"Dean. I want—I want you to come up here with me." Next to him Joce allows herself a noise of happiness. Of course this draws Roy's attention.

"Dean, there's a young lady sitting next to you. Care to tell me who she is to you."

"She's my girlfriend."

"Alright, well you can bring her on up with you if that will help you."

"No, that's ok." Dean said quickly.

"What are you doing?" Sam hisses and seconds later Joce speaks, her voice weak.

"You promised."

"You've come here to be healed, haven't you?" Roy breaks in.

"Well, yeah, but— No, maybe you should just pick someone else." However the crowd cheers at his almost modesty. Yeah, like Dean could be modest.

"Oh, no, I didn't pick you, Dean, the Lord did." Joce wonders if the Powers have some guardian angel whispering in Roy's ear but decides that it can't be true. She barely notices that Dean's standing up now and Sam is urging him forward. Dean throws her a look but Joce doesn't budge. She doesn't budge however because something has caught her senses. Her whole body is tensed and prepared for battle. The change happens so suddenly that she's almost unable to focus on anything but the subtle change in the air. Her eyes and ears aren't picking up anything and neither is her nose. But her spider sense is doing a lot more than tingling. It's raging right now. Joce presses back a snarl, for some reason, whatever has arrived here, has pulled out her primal urges. The problem is that she can't tell where it is in the tent or what its intentions are.

There's a hurricane going on in her body and she doesn't even understand why. All she knows is that Spike might have some answers. For a moment she desperately wishes that he were here. She focuses her senses near Roy, hoping that it's just his power. There! There was flicker of something. And then it was there again. If she looked out of the corner of her eye she could just see it. But the chance for attack was gone as Sam broke her concentration. He shouts his brother's name, Joce's body relaxes slowly, and she is able to shove her way to Dean.

* * *

Joce doesn't think she could handle another hospital visit so she goes hunting as soon as the last of the suns rays fade. She slinks through the graveyard in search of new graves but she doubts she'll find anything worth fighting. But then again Sunnydale was a small town. Her body thrums with built up energy so she takes off the amulet that was given to her before she left the Slayer headquarters in Springfield. She watches in fascination as pale pearl colored scars appear and snake a winding path on her arms. She knows her face isn't marred but almost 80 percent of the rest of her body is marred by winding, snaking silvery scars. If they were on canvas she might call it art work but since they were carved into her body she can't call it anything but torture. 

For a moment she marvels at the fact that unless she reveals all to Dean he'll never know about her disfiguring scars. She traces one and realizes it's a vine covered in tiny roses. She's never really looked at them before but now she wonders what else he marked her with. Joce knows that someday the scars will hardly be noticeable but that day isn't now. So she presses her fingers to her neck, feeling the raised bites, and finally puts the necklace back on.

The graveyard is quiet for a moment but Joce can feel a familiar vampire approaching.

"Hey Spike." She says without looking.

"Don't you Slayers know how bloody annoying that is?" Spike growls around a cigarette. He studies her for a moment before speaking, "So I take it that Hunter Boy came out alright."

"Yes. I got a call from Sam. He said Dean's fine and they are going to start investigating because Dean saw a spirit." She folds her arms across her chest but doesn't meet Spike's eyes.

"So then why aren't you celebrating?"

"Because I sensed it… I sensed whatever it was, Spike. But I couldn't see it except out of the corner of my eye, and I certainly couldn't fight it. By the time I got a lock on it, it flickered out."

"Yeah?"

"I don't think it was a spirit. I think it was a type of demon or something, summoned. I'm not sure. I mean what kind of gain would it get."

"Sometimes it's not about the gain, it's about destruction. Like how Angelus was hell-bent on sucking the world into hell a few years back." Spike flicks his cigarette away.

"Yeah…" Joce murmurs faintly.

It isn't until later that Joce runs across two vampires. The fight is swift and by the end of it she doesn't feel satisfied by it at all. There's an uncomfortable itch that needs to be scratched. So Joce continues to prowl the night.

Her body hums with extra energy and she can't seem to pause for more then a moment. She briefly considers starting a bar fight but can't bring herself to. Instead she plays pool with a couple of local boys. Both of who are close to her in age. She keeps her senses open for any signs of anything being off. After all, it was only four in the morning, things still prowled about, right? Finally the bartender escorted the stragglers out.

Joce finds herself wandering back into their hotel room as the sky brightens with the promise of a new day. Her body is still trilling for a fight but she does need some sleep. She quietly pulls on one of Dean's shirts and a pair of pajama pants and quickly slips into the bed next to Dean. As if unconsciously knowing that she is there beside him, Dean reaches out and pulls her close. Joce rests her head on his chest and snuggles closer to his warmth. She closes her eyes wishing that the moment would never end. As she drifts closer to the all-consuming darkness Joce thoughts shift to the pretty Layla and she wonders for a brief moment if Dean is dreaming about her.

_The sun is warm on her face and she realizes she's lying on a beach. She looks down to see that she is very, very pregnant. She stands and scans the empty area around her for anyone at all, but she's completely alone. Joce looks down to see that she is wearing a long, white, almost virginal nightgown. She feels the sand shift beneath her feet as she walks away from the ocean. Suddenly she's walking on cold snow and Alex is in front of her. _

"_A very beautiful baby." Alex murmurs and Joce realizes that she is now on a bed, in the middle of a field with snow surrounding her. However when Alex shows her the baby it is a writhing mess of maggots and a skull… oh god she thinks she's going to throw up._

_She runs away but gets lost in a maze. Her feet grow cold and everywhere she looks there is a flash of bright yellow eyes. But she can't seem to pinpoint them. Finally she ends up in a room. She approaches the crib and looks inside. A baby lays nestled in the covers. His hazel eyes focus on her sleepily. Then there's spot of red on his forehead, then another. Joce looks up to see herself pinned to the ceiling, there is no pain, or agony, or fear in her eyes. Just simple acceptance. All the same she screams._

_Now she's in her own body, looking at Dean's horrified and agonized face. Tears burn in her eyes and she manages to whisper, 'Run' before her whole body is aflame. She can feel her body turning to ashes and its painful but a release at the same. But before she closes her eyes, a pair of haunting yellow eyes fixes on hers and the malice in those eyes shocks her. And she realizes that it's reaching towards her child._

_She screams but as she screams she hits a wall, her back slamming into with enough force to crack the plaster. Plaster falls around her and she struggles to stand. She meets a cold pair of yellow eyes. The eyes are set in Dean's face. Joce wails in agony…_

And sits up in bed. Her heart is racing and for a moment she chokes on her scream. She slumps forward, realizing it was just a dream. She presses her palms against her eyes trying to remember the dream as it fades quickly from her mind. It fades so quickly that she wonders if she even had it. For a brief moment there's a sliver of the dream but then it's gone completely. There's a note from Dean on the bedside table. The clock reads almost three pm.

Joce gets dressed and ignores the nagging feeling of needing to remember something in the back of her mind. She braids her long, dark hair in a loose braid and walks next door, rapping sharply on the door. Sam opens it and grins at her.

"Hey we were just talking about the next step."

"And what is the next step?" Joce murmurs as she toes off her sandals and stretches. She catches Sam staring at her and wonders what the expression on his face was. For a moment she is tempted by the urge to flirt with Sam but she suppresses the urge.

"Well…" Sam finally says, his eyes torn away from her. He nervously wipes his hands on his jeans and stares blankly at the wall. "I'm going to find the alter Sue Ann is using and Dean is going to stall Roy's healing tonight."

"Really? Sounds like a good plan."

"Yeah, well let's hope the stalling is the easy part." Dean mutters.

"So do you guys need me?" Joce cocked her head and stared directly at Sam.

"Er… uhm… n-no." he finally stuttered out. "No. No help. At all. Just you know, stay here."

"Nah. I think I'm going to go hunting. What is it anyway?"

"A reaper." Dean chirped grimly.

"Wait… a reaper? Oh give me a break. You've got to be kidding. No one summons those bastards anymore. It's all about Osiris now."

"Not kidding." Sam said.

"Oh. Hm. Odd."

"Why is that so odd?" Dean asked.

"Well because they are harder to control. Plus it kind of annoys the Gods. After all you should ask their permission before you use their minions. It's only polite." Joce shrugged. "Well you boys have fun, I have patrolling so I don't know when I'll be back." Dean frowned and spoke.

"How late? Are we talking about a repeat of last night?" Joce flushed.

"No. Well maybe. I'll try not to be too late."

"Alright. Wish me luck." Dean said while he stood. He tugged Joce closer to himself and bent his head.

"Luck." Joce whispered before their met. A litany of emotions flowed through her as she pressed her lips tightly to Dean's. When she broke away Sam was staring at them. An unidentifiable emotion etched onto his face. Their eyes met and Sam flinched and looked away. Joce felt her stomach tighten and she too looked away.

"I'll uhm… see you when I get in…" she breathed out in a rush and left quickly.

Dean frowned and glanced at Sam. But his little brother was busily loading his gun. He shook off the nagging feeling that something was wrong and continued devising brilliant plans for stalling the healing.

* * *

Joce decided to warm up with a quick run. Even though her body would naturally stay in shape she sometimes felt that she did not exercise enough. She quickly went through a series of stretches while searching for the perfect running music. Eventually she settled on Panic! At the Disco. 

Soon her feet pounded against the pavement to the beat of the music. Within minutes her breathing was harsher, her heart beat faster in her chest, and adrenaline coursed through her veins. She slowed down at a park bench and stood in place, boxing with the air for a few minutes to give herself a change of pace. As she stretched her leg, almost bringing it level with the rest of her body, a sound caught her ear and she took out one ear bud. Cocking her head she scanned the thicket of woods around her.

A chill crawled up her spine and Joce knew it to be a vampire. Placing the ear bud back into her ear, she turned down 'There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey. You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet', and finished her stretching. When she turned around a pair of broad-shouldered muscle-heads stood before her, both vampires exuded the feeling that they had once been QB's for the local football team. Acting confused she gave an uncertain smile.

"Hey guys didn't hear you walk up. It's a nice night, huh?" The two vampires exchanged glances, as if asking each other if their prey could be anymore clueless. The brunette finally spoke.

"Oh yeah, definitely, right Rob?" the blonde merely nodded. "So what are you doing running about, alone, at night?" he asked while leering at her.

"Oh well you know, gotta keep in shape you know. Say, if you guys wanna join me for the remainder of my run, maybe we could catch a bite to eat afterward." Once more the two vampires glanced at each other incredulously.

"Oh yeah, sure. Name's Dave." The brunette said. Joce gingerly took his hand.

That was Mistake Number Four in her book, when she woke up the next morning catalogued her mistakes. The first was keeping her headphones in, the second was acting stupid and not jumping them immediately, and the third was being cocky and just brushing them off.

Dave quickly jerked her towards him, and twisted her right arm so it was pined to her back. He wrapped his free arm around her waist. "Well, well… don't you just smell so sweet…" he murmured. There was a faint crunch of bones shifting and Joce knew that he was in game face.

"Yeah well I'm not Little Miss Nice!" She said and managed to free her left arm. She drove it into his solar plexus and danced away as soon as he let her go. Her fifth mistake was forgetting about the other vampire. Her breath was knocked out of her as she was tackled to the ground. 'Build God, Then We'll Talk', continued to play in her ears, as she lay there stunned. Rob's game face hovered above her and his voice faded in between the lyrics. Joce crashed her skull against his and he reared up, howling. She bucked her hips, dislodging him completely.

Joce scrambled up and kicked Rob in the face. Just as she did Dave whipped her around and threw her against a tree. With a throbbing head, and her vision fading in and out Joce lashed out with a punch that Dave caught easily. Her threw her back into the tree. Joce's head cracked against it with much more force. She slumped slightly, her knees buckling. Before she collapsed to the ground Dave grasped her neck and hauled her up. She whimpers in a high, tight voice.

With obvious glee he tightened his hands around her neck. Joce pulled out her last reserves of strength and her eyesight clears bit, her head stops swimming, and she manages to place her hands on his forearm. She claws at him as he lifts to her higher. But her vision is fading, and she can't stop him. Everything is growing darker and she knows if she dies here, now, Dean will go nuts. But it hurts too much; her lungs are aching for oxygen. Her mind protests that she's not ready to die. But everything is fading away and nothing matters. Then everything went white.

_Heat scorches her as she opens her eyes. She's alone. All around her its white-hot heat, and bright desert sand. There are few gnarled, dried trees, and scrubby bushes. She looked down and realized she was wearing a short, white, halter sundress. She was barefoot and as she stood there a hot wind blew over the barren landscape. She turns in a circle. Was this heaven? Hell? Limbo?_

_"Hell." A gravely voice spat out. Joce whirled and found a woman with dreads and rags for clothing crouching low to the ground. She shifted from her left to her right and back again._

_"So… I'm in Hell, and you're my guide?"_

_"Yes. And No." Joce found to her shock that the woman was not moving her mouth when she spoke._

_"Who are you?"_

_"The First." For a moment Joce began to panic when she realizes that she recognized this woman from a drawing in one of Giles' books._

_"You're her. You're the First of us."_

_"Yes."_

_"Why…" Joce swallowed heavily, "Why am I here?"_

_"Dying. I save you."_

_"No. I need to go back! I need to fight them."_

_"I fight. You stay."_

_"No! I need to find Dean and Sam!" the First Slayer narrowed her eyes._

_"No friends! No lovers! Alone! Always alone!"_

_"No! I am not you! I have a lover! I have friends! I don't sleep outside! I eat when I need to! I talk and I weep! I love and I sleep! I don't walk in a different world! I am not alone! There are hundreds of us! We are nearly a thousand strong!"_

_"Another." Joce whirled and looked to find Alex slowly walking towards her. Alex wore a long dress of violet. She stood close to the First Slayer and spoke._

_"I use this body as a way to speak to you. I understand there are more now. But I chose you. You are mine. You think you know what the future holds? But you have no idea. The future changes as we speak. I could leave you to die here. Now. Or I could save you. I can and will change your world. But your choice must be made quickly. I will always be with you if you choose to live. Your power will increase by the ten-fold. But you will never be normal. Never. What is your choice?"_

_"I… I choose to live." Alex gave a smile of satisfaction._

_"Good." Suddenly the First Slayer leapt at Joce. Joce screamed and closed her eyes._

A body. She had a body after so long. The First Slayer relished the feeling of a heart beating and pumping blood. What she did not like was the distinct lack of air rushing through her lungs. She opened her eyes and with one thought the vampires bones in that arm shattered. He screamed in pain.

"You psycho bitch!" the other shrieked. She turned golden-yellow eyes to the creature and a cold smirk formed on her face.

"**Flame**." She said and the creature with a loud shriek burst into flame. She turns to the other vampire and smirks. "**Blade**." And its head is suddenly gone.

"Good. That was easy." She murmurs. She closes her eyes.

And when she opens them she's standing a parking lot. Before her is Dean Winchester, he is kneeling in front of a Reaper who is touching is face and slowly drawing the life from him.

"Reaper! You answer to me now." The Reaper turns slowly towards her, his hand still resting against Dean's face.

"_The First Slayer_. What brings you here now?"

"Spare the boy's life. You may drain another, of my choice, to heal Layla Rouke."

"And who's life would you have me take?"

"The one who summoned you." She said confidently, she tilted her head higher, yellow eyes boring into him. The Reaper drops his hand, smiling maliciously.

"Of course." He flickers from existence.

Elsewhere in the vicinity Sam rips the cross from Sue Ann just as the Reaper appears. Sue Ann screams. "My God! What have you done?"

"He's not your God." Sam states coldly. Unknowingly mere feet from the Reaper, Sam is brilliantly unaware that Death could reach out and take him. Sue Ann goes to run but the Reaper merely appears in her path and with a smirk takes her face in his hands. She grows paler and gasps for air.

Meanwhile in the tent, Layla falls to her knees, and Roy is smiling now. Seconds later he takes his hands away from her as Layla breaths easier. She smiles up at Roy.

"Thank you…" she whispers while in the parking lot Sue Ann dies while Sam watches.

"How do you feel?" Roy asks Layla.

"Like a million bucks."

"Good."

* * *

Dean stares at Joce. Or what should be Joce. The woman stares back at him with yellow eyes. 

"Dean Winchester. You are her consort? You heart is confused though. The coming months will not be easy on you. I can say that much." The woman cocks her head. "She is healed now. Her body. But her heart and soul is another thing. She is meant to walk alone. She is meant to hunt alone. She is not meant to love, to bear children, and to be a wife. These were things not written in her future, her future is unsteady though. She was not meant for this life. But now, she is. I cannot change that. I will be back Dean Winchester. Mark what I say and remember it well." And with that the yellow eyes were gone and replaced with Joce's confused gray pair.

"Joce? What just happened?"

"I don't… I don't know…" and with that she collapsed like a rag doll onto the ground.

* * *

Sam and Dean sit silently in the parking lot in the Impala. Neither speaks for a moment as Dean checks Joce's vitals.

"Hey… You okay?" Sam finally breaks through the silence.

"A little bit weak." Dean admits.

"Yeah. Alright, come on, we should get going." Sam starts up the car and begins to drive back to the hotel.

"It wasn't Joce, Sam. It was something else. It possessed her. It knew of our relationship. It knew everything. Hell… it was talking about the future." Dean admits shakily.

"What do you mean?"

"Like… it's seen all these possible futures for her and her future keeps changing. It isn't steady. That's what It said. God, Sam… it was fucking scary. It ordered that Reaper around like it was nothing."

"When she wakes up we'll figure this out Dean. She'll know something."

"Yeah… I hope she does."

* * *

As Joce laid still and feigning sleep she listened to Dean and Layla's conversation. At first there was nothing significant. But the tone of their voices, suggested something. She kept still as Layla lied about being healed. 

The girl was healed. She knew she was because Joce herself had ordered the Reaper to heal her. It gave her shivers to think on how easily she had killed those vampires. Simple words spoken and mere thoughts. The power made her hungry to experience more.

But at the same time she feared it. The way Dean had reacted when she had woken. He had been so angry. Demanding to know everything that had happened, Joce had finally brushed him off and went to Sam. That was nearly two hours ago but she remembered it like it was still happening.

"**I can't do this right now, Dean! Just… leave me alone for a little while." She screamed at him and stormed to Sam's room. Sam had been typing an email but he had stopped when Joce had sat heavily on his bed and spoke quickly. **

"**It was the First Slayer. I nearly died in the goddamn woods. She came to me. She told me that she had chosen me for this. That my future was so unstable that she didn't know what would happen. She said that I didn't belong in this world though. And then she took over my body to save me. Sam, the power she has… I am so much stronger then I was before. But the power she had was intoxicating. I wanted to just fade away and let her keep my body. She would have if I just let myself go. But the things she told me while I was trapped in my mind. The things I now know. Sam there is so much more to everything then I originally thought. And Dean… its like he doesn't understand. Goddamn, I love him but… now it seems the world is so hollow." She gave an empty laugh. "I wanted to turn my back on everything and become evil. Jesus Sam… Dean would flip if he knew this. I feel so alone now."**

"**Hey… Joce… don't cry." Joce hadn't realized she was crying until Sam pointed it out. But now that he had she realized. She gave another empty laugh and Sam pulled her close and wiped her tears away. "I'm sorry you feel that way. You shouldn't feel so alone. You should never be unhappy Joce. I couldn't bear to see you so unhappy." Joce met Sam's brilliant green eyes and lost her voice. She couldn't seem to look away either.**

"**It's hard, I know… to be so… intoxicated and seduced by something extraordinary." His eyes left her and fell on her lips. His fingers brushed against her cheek gently and moved to trace different features. His voice went softer as he spoke. "You just want to deny it but… something deep inside of you won't let you forget it…" he was so close now that all she could see were his brilliant emerald eyes and she couldn't breath now. "And selfishly you want it… you crave… it…" **

**And his lips suddenly crashed against hers. He kissed her fiercely and passionately and Joce responded. She moaned and responded with an equal amount of force. But with a startling jolt she realized that in the next room over Dean was waiting for her. She ripped herself away from Sam. **

"**No!" she said loudly even as her body cried out with lust and something lost. Her senses felt so scrambled now. And lust pooled low in her belly and she could taste Sam's desire on her tongue. She suddenly wanted him more desperately then anything. "No!" she said again. **

"**Joce… I don't know what… oh god! I am so sorry." **

"**No… it's my fault… I… oh god. This didn't happen Sam. Please forget it." Joce fled to room. And finally out of its confines and into the night did she truly understand what the First Slayer had meant. **

**She would change her world completely… but not without a price. This was why her future was so uncertain. Because the First Slayer and invoked a part of her that didn't exist before. She thought back to months before when she told Faith that while she found Sam attractive she would never make a move. And now here he goes and makes one. She felt rotten. But at the same time there was a sensation like cold water down her spine. Joce wondered if she should go back to her and Dean's room. **

**When she got back Dean wasn't inside, so she took the bed, curled up, and went to sleep. **

Now she was laying here listening to them flirt like mad. Joce felt a pit in her stomach and thought it to be jealousy. She wanted to leap up and claw Layla's eyes out. Instead she kept perfectly still.

"And Sue Ann. She's dead, you know? Stroke."

"Yeah, I heard. I mean, Roy's a good man. He doesn't deserve what's happened." There was a long pause before Dean continued. "It must be rough. To believe in something so much, and have it disappoint you like that."

"You wanna hear something weird?"

"Hm?"

"I'm okay. Really. I guess, if you're gonna have faith, you can't just have it when the miracles happen. You have to have it when they don't."

"So, what now?" Layla shrugs in response.

"God works in mysterious ways." Joce can feel the air move and she knows that Layla is touching Dean, she knows because she finally peaked, unable to squelch her curiosity. Layla is stroking his face, Joce struggle to repress a growl. "Goodbye, Dean." The bed shifts subtly and Joce snaps her eyes shut.

"Hey. Uh, you know, I'm not much of the prayin' type. But I'm gonna pray for you."

"Well. There's a miracle right there." Joce hears the door shut but Dean doesn't move. In fact it's a full five minutes before Joce bothers to open her eyes.

"Hey…" she murmurs and sits up. "What's wrong?"

"She's going to die, she's going to die because Sue Ann was trying to keep a damn Reaper as a pet."

"Layla. The pretty blonde, right? She looks like someone, but I can't think of whom. God it's right there. You know, she kind of looks like Connor. I dunno why but she does. Anyway it doesn't matter because she won't die." Dean turns to her, shock written on his face.

"Yeah and how do you know that?" he growls out. Joce cocks her head and smirks.

"Because I do." Dean narrows his eyes.

"Does this have to do with the whole yellow-eyed thing?"

"Yes. I… I got into a spot of trouble while I was going around on my nightly patrol. They were big guys and I made some mistakes. One had me by the throat and I guess I passed out or something because next thing I know I'm standing in this desert and this woman, the First Slayer, is talking to me. I would have died if I didn't allow her my body. She took over my body. But I was still there, you know? So she made some deal with the Reaper. And he took it. It was… weird. I don't think Layla knows." Joce said, covering for the poor girl.

"The First Slayer, the strongest slayer?" Instead of speaking Joce nods. "Maybe we can exorcise her out of you."

"No! Er… no. It would be wrong to do that. We made a deal. Plus I'll be a better slayer."

"Yeah and how does that work out?"

"I'm stronger, faster, everything is enhanced."

"And what if whatever it is that you're fighting is just as strong and just as fast."

"Well then I suppose I'd have to use some magic."

"Joce this isn't some new toy."

"I know that Dean. Look. Sam is supportive, why can't you be too?" Dean froze, his expression turning from frustration to anger. He stood up and began pacing around the room.

"You told Sam before you told me?"

"Well you jumped me about it! You demanded answers when I still needed to figure it all out! Sam helped me figure it out!"

"Oh really now? What else have you told him?"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Remember that little thing we talked about when we first met, the whole blood? Yeah have you told him about that?"

"No! God no! We agreed we wouldn't tell him. God… Dean… why the hell are we fighting?" Dean sat back down and scrubbed at his face with his knuckles.

"God. I don't know."

"Look. I'm going to take my shower. You can either join me and conserve water, or you can brood." Joce said finally after a long silence between them.

It wasn't until she was in the shower that she realized why Layla looked for familiar. She had seen portraits of Connor's mother, painted or drawn by Angel. Joce brought up a mental image of Layla and compared it to those portraits. She couldn't be sure but she swore to god that Layla and Darla were one in the same. But logically she knew Darla had been long dead for five or so years. She shook off a sneaking suspicion.

With disappointment she realized Dean wouldn't be joining her after ten minutes. So she finished her shower, wrapped a towel around herself, and stepped into the room. Dean was nowhere in sight. Joce repressed the pang of sadness and quickly dressed in a pair of sweat pants and t-shirt. She slipped on jogging shoes and examined her iPod for damage. She knew she had been lucky in that fight.

* * *

When she returned late into the night, or more like very early morning Dean was back. She climbed into bed next to him and recoiled seconds later when she smelt the whiskey on his breath. Well it wasn't just his breath, he smelled like he had fallen into a vat of whiskey. She sighed and tiptoed next door and knocked on Sam's door. He opened it a couple of minutes later shirtless, with mussed hair, and eyes still drooped with sleep. 

"Joce? What are you…" he paused and yawned before continuing, "What are you doing here?"

"Dean and I had a fight, I jumped into the shower, inviting him of course. When I got out he was gone so I went patrolling. I don't think I'll need much sleep anymore but anyway he was back when I came back. He smells like a goddamned distillery. There is no way I am sleeping next to him or dealing with his hangover. It's his fault and I shouldn't be punished because he wanted to pout. So point is, can I sleep with you?" Both of them froze for a second. Sam's eyes took on a glazed look.

"Sleep with me?" he murmured.

"I didn't mean it… like that…" she whispered and averted her eyes from his chest and abs… and how low on his hips his pajama pants were. She swallowed and coughed, trying to loosen her tight throat. "Look… I'm sorry. For the weirdness lately. I'm going to back to my room and drag Dean into the bathroom."

"Joce, it's fine… it's my fault… I'll sleep on the floor and you can have the bed. You don't have to go back in there if you don't want to. Or I could just sleep on the floor in your room. Either way is fine with me, just let me get my shirt."

"No, Sam its okay. Just forget this ever happened." Joce turned away and decided if she should just continue patrolling or go to sleep. Truth be told she wasn't even close to being tired.

"Joce! Wait!" She turned and flinched when Sam went to grab her arm, "Sorry, sorry! I just… you know if you ever need anyone to talk to or anything, I'll be there. You know that right? Like if Dean is being a bastard or-."

"Sam. I know. And thank you. But I don't know if I will ever take you up on that offer."

"Oh… yeah… well… goodnight, Joce."

"Goodnight Sam." Joce murmured and jogged off.

A pit was forming in her stomach and she knew something was to come. But for now she would lie in wait. But what she waited for, she did not know. All she knew was that it was a 50/50 chance of being good or bad.

* * *

A/N: wow what a long wait for you guys, and a long chapter. Please don't hate me. I've also gone back and fixed the previous chapters so go and check them out. And thank you my few reviewers and the people who don't review but should. 


	11. The Sharpest Lives

Title: Stricken

Author: TigerTiger02

Chapter Title: The Sharpest Lives

Summary: Joce almost does something naughty with Sam, Joce and Dean Fight and make up. There's a killer truck, and Joce finds common ground with someone she didn't think she would.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, not the songs, bands, characters, etc I've mention. I only own Joce and Alex. If the urge to borrow them strikes you… ask first and give me credit.

Spoilers: might be random Buffy things and definitely Supernatural spoilers.

Dedication: to Tarryn, we've had our rough moments man but here's to over five years of friendship. To the class of '07. Party hardy, rock and roll, drink a keg, smoke a bowl, love is fun, sex is heaven, we are the class of 2007

* * *

It's not her body. She knows this but still she can't help but let herself take it over. The fights are always quicker and she feels so alive, even though she's been dead for a millennia. Her blood has long since soaked into the earth, her skin rotted off and eaten by various scavengers; her bones have been bleached by the sun and then turned to dust. And her soul, gone, flitted away to purgatory, where she waited and waited.

There is so much of this time to learn. Vampires are stronger now then they ever were before. They've evolved. Though those vampires are much more careful then hers. She rarely comes across those. People don't know her so they don't fear her, it's all so confusing.

And then there is this strange hunger deep inside of her. Something that is unattainable. She has never understood matters of the flesh. And she certainly doesn't understand this body's desire for human contact. She yearns for the touch of flesh against hers, and the there's a deep pit of… guilt, in her stomach. She does not understand this. A body sleeps next to her every night, the body of a virile, strong male. Why the owner of this body does not give into her baser desires she knows not. The owner indulges in food, in alcoholic drink, and charring smoke. She pollutes her body while refusing to copulate with the male.

She started when she realized the sun was rising and there were no more demons or vampires to be found. With slow reluctance she made her way to the place of sleep, remembering in time to drop her kill's heart before she came out of the forest. She let the other soul that resided in the borrowed body to take over.

Joce blinked as the forest around came into sharp focus. She pressed her hand against her forehead and learned heavily against a tree. She sorted through her mind and winced. The memories were disjointed and leapt from one subject to another. She turned her eyes downward and groaned at the sight of her own blood, or perhaps someone else's, covering her clothing. She couldn't be too sure, when the First Slayer took over her body she healed too quickly to tell if she had been injured. The point was that she had ruined another set of clothing.

Joce stripped the clothing off near a dumpster behind the motel and found that, to her utter delight, her bra and panty set had been spared. She crept to her room and unlocked it quietly. She let out a sigh of relief at Dean's sleeping form. He lay on his stomach, one hand under his pillow and the other flung to her side of the bed. He had obviously been waiting for her before giving up. He breathed slowly and deeply. She wondered if he had gone to be drunk again. At least he had dwindled it down and it wasn't every night. It wasn't just whiskey.

As she snuck closer to him, intent on slipping into bed completely naked, she caught site of herself in the mirror above the dresser. Yellow/gold eyes stared back at her. They glinted in the dark, like a pair of cat's eyes. Her black hair was matted with mud and blood. There was mud and blood streaked across her too-pale face. In fact there was blood almost everywhere on her body. Blood and faint, pearl pink scars that were already rapidly fading back into her ivory skin tone. She looked… wild.

The site of herself made her stomach turn and Joce turned her face away quickly. Dean was now sitting up in bed, staring at her with hard eyes.

"You're in late." He murmured.

"I know. I just…" she winced and pressed her palm against her forehead. "I couldn't sleep. It's different now. Harder to sleep." Joce murmured and closed her eyes.

"Yeah. Your eyes. They're still… hers." Dean stands and steps closer to her. He studies her eyes closely. She can track his movement from the gentle stirring of air and the near silent rustle of cloth. But other than that he is perfectly silent.

"I'm sorry."

"No, you aren't." There is nothing in his tone and for some reason that cuts deeper than the comment would if he were angry. Joce flinches away from him when Dean comes closer to her wipe some of the blood off her cheek. He freezes but then presses his hand against her face. "Open your eyes." His voice is soft, but demanding. Joce meets his eyes and he sighs in relief.

"Dean… I…" he turns away.

"They're normal. Go take a shower." Joce stills completely, feeling as if his words were a hammer to the chest.

"Of course."

* * *

Joce puffs nervously on a cigarette as she paces. She hasn't gone out and… hunted? Killed? She no longer knows the difference, but she hasn't done either in three nights. She's been trying to spend more time with Dean, trying to placate him. But he won't have it. Every attempt she has made so far has been foiled.

So the energy inside of her, instead of dying out, is increasing. She can't seem to stop moving, even in the car. Everything in her is screaming to move, to kill, to let the monster inside of her out. And she's pushing everything down, and away. She's locking it in a box in the back of her mind. So these days she's been much more manic then usual. "Do you suppose we could go to a gym? Huh? Next town we're in, yeah?" she paces around the car but no one answers her. "What do you guys think about rock climbing? Cliff diving? No? Alright, alright. I'll think of something." She pauses to stub her cigarette out and opens her pack for a new one.

"Fuck. Damnit. I'll be back." Sam nods absently and Dean barely glances at her.

She stalks quickly to tiny store and bounces on the balls of her feet as she scans the many packages of cigarettes. She taps her fingers quickly.

"A carton. Of those." The proprietor leers at her but she barely notices.

Outside she tears open the carton and fumbles with a pack before getting it open. By the time she has made it to the car, with all the fumbling and stopping, she's nearly half done by the time she climbs into the car. She speaks through the rolled down window.

"Shall we? Think there might be something in Pennsylvania, oh of course they'll be! What am I talking about! Hey, I just heard from Buffy that they're has been a lot of crazy activity in the past couple of years. We're not sure why though. It's just now coming to our attention. Really crazy things. Supposedly Illyria separated from the shell she had, Fred, and now they are completely two different people. Stark raving mad, yeah? Spike was ecstatic though! Fred. Lovely girl. Real lovely. But odd. Yeah. Odd. Very." She slides into the backseat and flicks the cigarette away.

"Nah, we've change direction. Apparently Dean has a friend in need. Joce are you all right? You seem a little hyper." Sam asked and cocked his head. He scrutinized her carefully. He took in the wild overly bright gaze of her eyes, and how glazed they seemed. He took in her too-pale skin and lavender bruises beneath her eyes. He took in the manic energy she exuded.

"Oh? Yeah? That so? Yeah. Good. That's fine."

"Joce? Are you sure you're alright?" Sam asked and flashed a look of concern.

"No. I'm not. I have entirely too much energy. But Spike's given me these horse tranquilizers or something so I can actually get some sleep instead of pacing around and going outside for a smoke every five minutes. Yeah. I just took it, like, an hour ago. Should… hey… I think he gave me… valerian root. Mmm… sleep." Joce mumbled and slumped down in the seat, automatically curling up like a cat. She was completely out within two minutes. Sam turns to Dean as they clamor into the car.

"She hasn't been sleeping?"

"No."

"Dean… what has she been doing then? I mean, since she's not sleeping?" Dean shrugged.

"Until three nights ago she was going out and hunting every night and then she stopped."

"What has she been doing instead?"

"Pacing, watching TV, and smoking. Talking on her phone, surfing the net."

"But she's not sleeping?"

"No."

"Dean you have to talk to her. People can't live like this."

"Yeah well ever since that thing took over her body she's been living like this. That thing makes her not need sleep, or food. Probably not even sex considering she hasn't-."

"Whoa! I do not need to be hearing about this!" Dean rolled his eyes.

"What it's true! No sex since that thing begin taking over her body!"

"Well maybe that's what she needs but she's afraid of rejection. She seems very hyper lately! I mean jeez it's not like you need to… you know all the time!"

"Sam. I cannot believe I'm having this conversation with you. We're done. No more."

"Alright fine." Sam glanced at Joce and frowned. "Hey Dean, by old friend, you mean…"

"A friend that's not new." Dean mutters. Sam shakes his head and chuckles.

"Yeah, thanks. So, her name's Cassie, huh?" Dean nods. "You never mentioned her."

"Didn't I?"

"No."

"Yeah, we went out."

"You mean you dated someone? For more than one night?"

"I've dated Joce for more than one night." Dean murmurs before reaching back into the backseat and laying a hand on Joce's face. Sam notes with sudden awareness that Dean looks extremely uncomfortable. He keeps glancing back at Joce who is still in the backseat. "She's not waking up anytime soon so go ahead and say what you want."

"Am I speaking a language you're not getting here? Yeah, Dad and I were working a job in Athens, Ohio, she was finishing up college, and we went out for a couple weeks." Dean shrugs.

"And?" Dean gives him a clear look that says drop it. "Look, it's terrible about her dad, but it kind of sounds like a standard car accident. I'm not seeing how it fits with what we do. Which, by the way, how does she know what we do?" Sam stares hard at Dean, waiting for an answer. But then he realizes the silence is his answer. "You told her. You told her? The secret? Our big family rule number one, we do what we do, and we shut up about it. For a year and a half I did nothing but lie to Jessica, and you go out with this chick in Ohio a couple of times and you tell her everything? Dean!"

"Yeah. Looks like it." Sam shakes his head.

"God man. Maybe if you treated Joce like that and didn't lie to her constantly she wouldn't be so detached from you." Sam scoffs and Dean says nothing, but he clenches his jaw and grips the steering wheel tighter

* * *

Joce groggily awoke in the Impala. Brilliant light shone through it dusty windows and she stretched languorously. She hadn't slept that well in a very long time. Maybe she would take this crap all the time.

"Have a good nap?" Sam asks. "I thought you were coming around so I decided to wait for a bit. Dean is inside… talking to someone."

"Hmmm? Really?" Joce hair was a complete mess from sleeping for hours in the car. Sam smiles affectionately at her and brushes her hair from her face gently. His fingers linger on her cheek.

"Yeah…" as if realizing what he was doing he jerked his hand away from her face, as if he were burned. "We should… ah… never mind here they come anyway." Joce turns and sees an attractive woman. Joce takes in the brilliant smile directed at Dean. She takes in the smooth mocha colored skin and the riot of curls. She nearly chocks on her own spit.

"Oh my." Joce murmurs.

"Yeah." Sam agrees.

"She's beautiful…"

* * *

Joce curls up into a sick ball as she lies in her and Dean's hotel bed. She refused to go with them to Cassie's. God even her name sounded pretty. She begged off, claiming that her spider-sense was tingling mad crazy like. She felt a horrible jealousy bubbling in her stomach. It was obvious that Dean and Cassie had something a while ago.

Joce couldn't take being alone anymore so she trooped to Spike and Alex's room.

"Oy! Open up!" Spike opened the door quickly.

"What's wrong, ducks?"

"Nothing. Let's go party. Please, Spike? Just for a small while. I need to be under the alfluence of incohol. I need to just, relax!" Spike stared at her skeptically.

"Oh? This wouldn't have anything to do with that little chit that we're here to help."

"No." Joce growled, "Look if you don't want to go out and have some fun. Fine. I'll go alone." Spike sighed and rolled his eyes. He lit up a cigarette and leaned against the doorframe.

"Alright. Fine. You've got ten minutes. Alex! You want to tag along dove?" Alex poked her head from behind the door.

"Nah. I'm gonna kill tonight."

"Alright, looks like its jus' me an' you ducks." Spike said. Joce nodded and made her way to room.

Inside she pulled on a pair of black leather pants, a gift from Faith who swore by them, and a jeweled tone purple halter-top. She quickly applied eyeliner and brushed brilliant siren red lipstick across her mouth. She pouted sexily and nodded at her reflection. She didn't bother with a coat. Just as she was about to leave Dean strolled into their room. He froze completely before speaking.

"Aww… Joce I'm exhausted right now." He complained.

"Who said you were invited along anyway?" Joce asked scathingly. "Spike and I decided to go out and have some fun. Have a few drinks, dance up a storm, and stake some vamps. You know. The kinds of things people our age are supposed to be doing." Joce wrinkled her nose and pulled her hair up with a clip. "Better! Don't you think?" Dean clenched his jaw as he took in her outfit.

"And you're going out in that? Put something decent on." Joce narrowed her gray eyes.

"Dean Winchester, you are not my father. I can dress how I want when I go to clubs. You have a problem? Then maybe you should be the one taking me out instead. Until you do, you have no say. I'm going out now. Don't wait up.

* * *

Joce laughed breathlessly as she tossed back another shot. It seemed Spike was in his element as he hustled money while playing pool. She felt the world wobble a bit and decided to go back on the dance floor as a new song started it up. It sounded much more punky then the previous ones. Joce danced her way into the crushing crowd. Sweaty bodies pressed against her and she raised her hands into the air and swayed her hips gently as the lyrics started up.

_Well it rains and it pours when you're out on your own.  
If I crash on the couch can I sleep in my clothes?  
Cause I spent the night dancing, I'm drunk I suppose.  
If it looks like I'm laughing I'm really just asking to leave_

Joce left the dance floor and tapped the bar for another drink when Spike came ambling up.

"It's three in the mornin' love. Let's head back." Joce raised an eyebrow.

"Sunrise isn't for another three or so hours. Come on! Last call's not for another hour and a half!"

"Joce. You're drunk, or at least well on your way to becoming drunk. So let's go."

"No. I don't want to go. I'm having fun." She pouted slightly and continued. "So fuck you. Fuck Alex. Fuck the Council. Fuck Sam. Fuck Cassie. And most of all, Fuck Dean!" Spike threw up his hands.

_This alone. You're in time for the show,  
you're the one that I need, I'm the one that you loathe.  
You can watch me corrode like a beast in repose,  
Cause I love all the poison, away with the boys in the band._

_I've really been on a bender and it shows,  
so why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?_

_Give me a shot to remember,  
and you can take all the pain away from me.  
A kiss and I will surrender;  
the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead.  
A light to burn all the empires,  
so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be  
in love with all of these vampires,  
so you can leave like the sane abandoned me_

"Joce! Be reasonable. You're vulnerable right now. Come back to the motel with me. Sleep it off and-." Joce threw a punch suddenly but Spike managed to catch it. His eyes flashed golden but he managed not to change right then and there.

"You want to play rough? You want to spar tonight, mate? Because I'll tell you right now, I could snap your pretty little neck without a thought."

"And I-."

"I'm going. Have fun all alone." Joce pouted and tossed back her shot. She turned to another guy at the bar, tilted her head in an alluring manner, and smile brightly at him.

"Wanna dance?" The guy smirked.

"Sure!"

_There's a place in the dark where the animals go,  
you can take off your skin in the cannibal glow.  
Juliet loves the beat and the lust it commands,  
Drop the dagger and lather the blood on your hands Romeo_

By the time last call came Joce was completely and utterly trashed. She managed to stumble her way to her hotel room. She giggled when she realized that her cigarette was steadily burning her hand.

"Oh. Hey. I have cigarette." Her whole body felt numb and it was a very pleasant feeling. Her head felt muzzy and stuffed full of cotton. She stumbled slightly as her foot caught in a root. Finally she managed to get to her room and attempt to be quiet as she breathlessly giggled again after remembering that particularly good song.

_I've really been on a bender and it shows,  
so why don't you blow me a kiss before she goes?_

_Give me a shot to remember,  
and you can take all the pain away from me.  
A kiss and I will surrender;  
the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead.  
A light to burn all the empires,  
so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be,  
in love with all of these vampires,  
so you can leave like the sane abandoned me._

Suddenly the light flicked on. Dean, who had been unseen, was bathed in light. Joce squinted and grinned at him.

"It's five."

"I know."

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Oh hell yea… it's been lovely." Joce giggled again.

"You're drunk." Dean stated blatantly.

"I know." She said. She sobered quickly and stood straighter.

"Joce. I won't tolerate this kind of crap." Joce tensed immediately.

"Me coming back to the motel room, one night, completely plastered? Oh that's rich coming from you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Dean. You were coming back drunk for nearly two weeks after Nebraska. I don't have to justify myself to you. I'm allowed to have a little fun."

"Yeah and just how much fun did you have. Some back alley fun?" he growled. Joce drew back, her eyes wide.

"Oh fuck you. You did not just say that. I would… god Dean. I would never cheat on you. No matter how bad things are I would never."

"That's great to know."

"Don't you dare. I'm going to crash in Sam's room. How about you think long and hard about if you really want to be in this relationship. Because if you don't then I'll leave." Joce turned on her heel and left the room.

_Give me a shot to remember,  
and you can take all the pain away from me.  
A kiss and I will surrender;  
the sharpest lives are the deadliest to lead.  
A light to burn all the empires,  
so bright the sun is ashamed to rise and be  
in love with all of these vampires,  
so you can leave like the sane abandoned me_

"Hey." Sam murmured as he sleepily rubbed his eyes.

"If I crash on the floor, can I sleep in my clothes?" She murmured while staring down at the ground.

"Sure." He opened the door wider and let her in.

"Cause I spent the night dancing, I'm drunk I suppose."

"Joce?"

"It was a song I heard earlier this… morning."

"What time is it anyway?"

"Late. Or early. Depends." Joce was suddenly very twitchy and she knew it had to do with the fact that Sam was only wearing a pair of flannel pajama pants, the waistband dipping dangerously low. It wasn't until recently she had begun to notice him more. Now that the ever lurking troubles with Dean had worsened to the point of neither of them being willing to work it out. She bit back a bitter smile and stepped inside the room.

"What song?"

"Uhm… The Sharpest Lives."

"Ah. My Chemical Romance. Not a big fan but I heard it on a friend's myspace a couple of days ago." Joce frowns.

"Are you kidding me? You have a myspace?"

"Yes. It's easier to keep in contact."

"Well then. I guess it makes sense." Joce went quiet for a moment and just studied Sam. His eyes were heavy with sleep; the normally clear green was clouded and darker with exhaustion. His chocolate locks were more mussed then usual. His slender, tan body was built underneath all of his damn cloths. Joce was surprised to find herself lusting after him. She coughed and averted her eyes, blushing bright red when Sam suddenly grinned at her.

"Were you… checking me out?" Sam laughed out.

"Well if you must know. Yes." Sam smirked this time. He stepped closer to her, invading her person space. He lowered his head, looking down at her with suddenly awake and very intense eyes. He lifted his hand and touched her cheek gently with one finger, sliding it downward to tilt her head up. He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her cheek. Joce remained still and stunned as he did this. Her gray eyes widened with shock. Sam pulled away and smiled.

"Sleep well, Jocelyn." He murmured and pulled on a shirt, and grabbed his sneakers and a jacket.

"Sam! Wait! Where are you going?" she shouted out the door as he started down the stairs.

"I need some fresh air." He said with an enigmatic smile. Joce stood in the doorway for a long moment, her hand on her cheek, and she stared after him. With a blush Joce furiously turned away and closed the door. She leaned against the door and slide down to sit on the floor. With her palms grounding her she took a deep breath. "I do not feel that way about him. I really don't." But she knew she was lying

* * *

The next afternoon found Joce steering clear of both Winchester brother's and choosing to spend time with Alex. They had taken to wandering about the town even though it was sweltering hot. It was long moment before Alex spoke, her green eyes suddenly translucent.

"He is frighteningly good looking. I suppose. He's gentler then the other. I'm sure you would enjoy the sex very much." Joce stopped in complete shock.

"Oh. Alex. How did you know?" Alex smiled widely at her, showing rows of white, sharp teeth. She tapped her index finger to her temple.

"Saw it. All in here." She said gleefully.

"I… I'm so confused."

"Because you lust after Sam even though you know you love Dean. No matter how hard he pushes you away, no matter what he says, you will always love him. You're confused. Understandable. Dean hasn't exactly been talking to you, only talking at you. He hasn't made any sexual overtures. In fact, while you sleep in the same bed, neither of you is there. Sam is offering you the world; although his intentions are pure there is lust behind them. He thinks he might love you, but it is only lust covered with sympathy. You're lonely even in a group. He feels kinship with you. And he lusts after you. He's mixing up lust with love. It's not his fault."

"Oh."

"So you have a choice. And you might have to make it soon. Jump into bed with Sam. Or continue to get the cold shoulder from Dean until you can work things out with him."

"I… I don't know what I want anymore." Alex looked at her, pity in her green eyes.

"You'll figure it out someday." Alex caught sight of a clothing store. "For now, let's indulge a bit." With tears in her eyes Joce managed to laugh.

When they emerged from the store Joce had a few new outfits, more feminine things that she hoped would entice Dean. They were styles that she never really wore, so it might shock him. But she was willing for him to be shocked. Anything for him to look at her with that light in his eyes again.

When she got back to the motel room neither Dean nor Sam were there. But Spike was lounging around.

"Your opinion please." Joce said and stepped into her first choice of what to wear tonight. It was a wrap dress made of almost gauzy white material that clung to her. The skirt reached her knees. And the neckline wasn't too plunging. The sleeves were short in length and bell-like. In essence it screamed purity. Spike's jaw dropped.

"If you pull the hair up you could knock him dead." Joce smiled.

"Alright, get the hell out of here so I can get prettied up." Spike chuckled and left the room.

Joce waited for nearly two hours before deciding to call Sam.

"Hey, when are you guys going to be back?"

"Well I'm going to be back in ten minutes. But who knows with Dean."

"What do you mean?"

"He needs to check out a lead and ask Cassie some questions."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Look. Dean might be a little cold towards you right now but he's still dealing with that whole thing from when we were in Nebraska. He's crazy about you Joce."

"I know."

"Good."

As soon as she was off the phone with Sam, Joce spent awhile pacing about before she finally went to Sam's room. She waited patiently outside while watching the rain.

"Whoa!" Sam's breathless voice behind her made her turn around.

"Hey."

"Jesus Joce. What the hell are you wearing?"

"I… uhm… got it today… I know I don't look well in dresses but I-." Joce murmured through a blush. Sam interrupted her though.

"No! No! You look… ahem… uhm… what was I saying?" Sam said with his glassy looking as he stared at her. "Great! You look great! That's what I was saying." Joce laughed.

"Okay. Okay." Joce said as Sam unlocked his door and ushered her inside. Joce sat primly on his bed with her hands folded in her lap and her legs crossed.

"So…" Sam said and focused on a painting of a field on the wall. Silence drenched the atmosphere of the room. Finally Joce blurted out her thoughts.

"I've had all these thoughts lately. That maybe Dean and I can't make it. I mean I still love him… and he loves me. But… I'm sick of him pouting. I'm sick of him avoiding me and me avoiding him. I'm tired of this half-relationship. I don't know how much longer it will be before I break." Sam had frozen halfway through her rant and was now staring blankly at her.

"Joce. What do you want?"

"I don't know. That's the problem."

"Well you need to make up your mind." Joce hung her head slightly before straightening.

"Let me go for a walk. And I may or may not be back. Then you'll know." Joce left quickly and made her way to Cassie's. They needed to talk. ASAP

She knew it was probably stupid and Dean would get all huffy and upset about it. But she had to. She had the strangest urge to just go and talk to Dean. She shivered and realized her dress was damn near soaked from the rain. She frowned and realized that she had nearly passed Cassie's house.

She knocked on the door and waited and waited. She knocked on the door twice more before decided to just go in. She padded down the hall feeling like some kind of intruder. She cocked her head hearing a noise just down the hall. A moan. Her stomach churned. Her mind raced. Her whole body froze mid-step. Should she stay or should she go? The noises were unmistakable but god she had to be sure. She moved forward once more. With a sinking feeling as she finally got to the door. Luckily, or rather unluckily, the door was cracked open already.

She stifled a gasp and stilled her body completely. She bit her lip and forced tears back. She felt as if she would vomit. They… looked good together, standing in the middle of the room and making out like there was no tomorrow. She had to admit. A surge of crazed anger ripped through her but she knew she had to get the hell out of there before she did something idiotic

* * *

She wasn't quite sure how she got to Sam's room but somehow she was there. And Sam was standing stupidly in the doorway. And her hands were pressed against his warm chest. She went to her the tips of her toes and pressed her lips against Sam's with an almost vicious passion. She wrapped her arms around Sam's neck. Sam's hands found purchase on her waist as they stumbled backward into his room.

Sam tore his lips away from hers and looked down at her. He brushed a tendril of wet hair from her face and cupped her face.

"Joce? Are you sure you want this?"

"No. But god do I need it." Sam paused for a moment.

"I didn't think he would but it seems he did."

"Fuck him."

"Are you-?"

"Just shut up and kiss me already."

Sam pushed her roughly against the door and kissed her with wicked abandon. Joce fumbled with his t-shirt as they kissed fiercely. Finally his t-shirt was off and Joce quickly rid of him of his belt. Sam pulled away panting.

"Shit. Condom." He murmured. Joce pulled her lust filled mind into focus.

"Don't you have one in your wallet?" She mumbled against his lips as she pulled him into another kiss.

"Hmmm… yes… just… hang on…" She cupped her hands behind his neck and groaned into his mouth as his hand slipped up her skirt, his other hand fumbling with his wallet. Somehow they had ended up with Joce sitting atop a small table with her legs wrapped loosely around his waist.

Joce pulled away from another burning kiss and nipped lightly at Sam's neck. He grunted as she found a sensitive spot in the hollow of his throat. Joce laughed breathlessly and unbuttoned his jeans but went no further. Sam focused his attention on the ties of her dress. He quickly untied it and Joce let it slide off her shoulders. Joce wrapped her legs around his waist. Pulling him closer and pressing her mouth tightly against his. Sam groaned, his hands slipping up her thighs. Her hands thread through his hair as she wiggled closer. Sam pulled away with a gasp. He took a couple of deep breaths and spoke.

"We can't. You're not thinking clearly," he murmured touching her cheek gently.

"The hell I am!" Joce shakes her head and tries to capture his mouth once more. Instead Sam firmly grabbed her shoulders and held her away from him. "Joce. We can't. It's wrong."

"Sam… please." She felt the tears well up in her eyes. "Please…" she broke from his grip and pulled him close, crushing her lips against his in a vicious, biting kiss. She whispered against his lips once more. "Love me… please," she pressed her lips tighter against his in desperation. She felt the tears begin to spill over as Sam's strong hand pried her fingers from his shoulders and he pulled away. He took a step back so he was out of reach. Joce reached out for his wrist but quickly dropped her hand. Sam watched the desperation fade from her eyes and shame quickly filled them. Her thin shoulders shook as she began to sob. She pulled her wrap dress back around her, her arms going around her middle as she began shaking harder.

"Oh god." She sobbed out. "I'm… I can't believe… god… what is wrong with me? I p-p-promised Dean I would ne-never… no matter what! Sammy… Sam… forgive me." She sobbed harder and drew her knees up while scooting back so that she was sitting fully on the table. Sam turned away and rubbed a tired hand across his face. He reached for his shirt and pulled it on.

"Joce… calm down… you're not thinking straight." He sighs, steps close to her, and wraps his arms around her. She stiffens in his arms almost immediately before slumping into him.

He made some shushing noises, and rubbed her back as her tears leaked onto his shirt.

"I love him so much it hurts. I love him so much I hate him. He… we keep hurting each other and it makes me so sick sometimes. Why… why did he do it Sam? Why was he kissing Cassie? He knows… he knows I love him."

"I don't know Joce… I just don't know." Sam murmured as his eyes darkened in anger. Oh he would have to have a talk with Dean soon.

* * *

Dean pushed Cassie away.

"I can't do this."

"Why not? Is it that girl I saw Sam with?"

"Yes. I… I love her. I mean I really love her. I can't hurt her like this. I can't do this to her. I've already fucked up a lot."

"Look Dean, you wouldn't have kissed me without a reason."

"I was confused. I still am." He threw up his hands and turned away. Cassie sighed and knew that even though she couldn't have him this time around she could at least help him. After all he was a friend and he was helping her.

"Why don't you sit down, I'll get us a couple of beers and you can tell me all about it."

* * *

Joce finished tying her dress and picked up her heels, unwilling to wear them for the short walk to her room. She ran a shaking hand through her messy hair and thought back on the night. They had talked for hours until he had let her borrow a shirt from him and they had gone to sleep. She still felt guilt ridden; wanting to become this ultimate slayer and ignoring Dean like this in his time of need. They had also talked about the possibility of her leaving and Sam had tried to talk her out of it but she hadn't relented… yet. She still needed to talk to Dean before she officially decided. She went to Sam and bent down, her fingers lingered on his face after she brushed his hair from his face, and she pressed a kiss to his cheek with trembling lips. As she pulled away Sam caught her wrist and pulled her close.

"Are you leaving for now, or permanently?" He murmured into her ear as he held her gently.

"How did you know?"

"Logical guess." She sighed and relaxed against him.

"I can't do this anymore. Don't get me wrong Sam, I love Dean, but Dean's just hurt me one too many times. And I've hurt him, maybe its just best if we split. I… I don't want to leave, not just for now but also permanently. I wish… I wish things had been different… I wish I had met you first."

"It wouldn't have made a difference. I was so messed up because of Jessica's death and I still am. I'm still in love with her, and I still miss her so much it hurts."

"And you won't rest until you get the Demon, right?"

"Yeah." Sam sighed. "Look… are you sure you've thought this through? Are you sure you should leave?"

"Sam. I saw Dean and Cassie making out. And then I did the thing I promised I would never do. I almost cheated on him, with his brother. It doesn't get anymore Jerry Springer then this." Joce moved away from him and stood up; she kept her eyes fixed on the floor. Sam sat up and swung his feet off the bed, and stood.

"Joce… I know you have to do this. And I get that. But know that I will miss you. Be safe Joce. I'm serious. Keep out of trouble and call me once in awhile to let me know how you are."

"I will Sam." Joce swallowed heavily, "Hey you be safe too. You know where I live, so come for a visit if you're near. And call me, write me."

"So I guess this is goodbye." Joce nodded and Sam enveloped her into a hug. He gave her a sweet, gentle kiss on the cheek and pulled away. Joce said nothing but gathered her things that she had left in here and went to her room.

* * *

Joce had taken a shower, and had changed back into the dress again. She hadn't exactly gotten a lot of use out of it yesterday and felt that maybe if she wore it again it would be easier to leave. That when she had worn the dress she had seen Dean cheat on her, and had nearly shagged Sam. She supposed that the good could outweigh the bad, but not when her heart felt like it was breaking into a million tiny pieces.

She finished packing and slipped on the heels from last night. She pulled her hair up with a claw and sat on the bed. She didn't know if she should wait until Dean got back or if she should just leave. She decided to wait.

She didn't have to wait long as she sat there on a bed they had once shared so intimately. She is tense with anticipation. Her legs are clenched together instead of their usual sprawling (she often wonders if Dean has ever noticed what a tom-boy she is compared to most girls he tends to check out). Her hands are fists and she tries to uncurl them but to no avail. She stares down at the white strained knuckles. Her long hair is unbound now and blocks her view of the door.

The door opens. She feels rather then sees Dean pause.

Dean was humming on his way back from Cassie's. Being with Cassie had been great, she had really helped him understand just how important his relationship with Joce could be. There was a part of him that felt rotten for nearly cheating on Joce but another part was happy he did. Because if he didn't he would still be confused as to whether or not he loved Joce. He realized that while he still did hold feelings for Cassie they were nothing compared to the feelings he had for Joce. So with a clearer conscious he opened the door to their motel room and stopped dead.

Dread crawled up his spine as he stared at Joce in a cream-white dress. Besides her on the bed are her bags, completely packed. She's almost a statue, her skin is paler then it normally was. Her long hair obscured her face from him. He took a deep breath.

"Hey. What's going on?" He took a few quick steps until he was in front of her, then he crouched down in front of her. His silver ring glinted brightly from his ring finger as he pushed her hair back from her face; he was disappointed to see her flinch when he brought his hand up. For a moment it didn't seem as if she could look at him, but finally her gray eyes locked onto his hazel pair. The gray that was normally streaked with silver and stormy blue was now the flinty gray of steel. Her face was wiped free of any emotion and Dean frowned, and looked down. His ring was no longer adorning her slender ring finger on her right hand; he had just gotten it resized for her too.

"What? The ring is too tight now?" he joked weakly. Joce didn't speak. She opened her clenched hands and the silver ring winked wickedly at him. He swallowed heavily. "Joce? What…. What's going on?" he finally managed with a whisper.

"I'm leaving." She finally said. She plucked up his hand and places the ring in his palm. She closed his fingers around it and her hands are colder then ice. Dean choked out his next words.

"Why?" Joce's faded eyes pierced him sharply.

"I… I saw you," she finally murmured. "I saw you and Cassie." Dean swallowed the awful lump in his throat.

"Joce. Please… don't do this. Let me explain first."

"What is there to explain? What you were fighting some kind of ghost who just shoved her and she happened to land right on your lips and oh jeez someone how ghost super glued your lips together and your clothes-." she cut herself off and the fire in her eyes faded slightly. She clenched her jaw and got control of her emotions. "I don't care what you have to say. I'm leaving. When you get your shit together, give me a call." Joce stood and pushed him away. She picked up her bags and with her head held high she began to leave. However once she got to the door it proved to be much harder to open then she thought. She began to sob and Dean moved to her. He cradled her against him.

"Joce, please don't go. Please. Stay." Joce angrily shoved him away and wiped her tears away harshly.

"No! Just shut up! Don't say anything! If you say something then… then I won't be able to go through with this!" she cried out. Something in Dean broke a little.

"Don't you dare! Don't you dare make this all about you Joce! Because this isn't just about you at all. It's about us. You said you would try and make this work, but you're not at all."

"Oh really? You vowed too Dean. And what did you do? Instead of telling me your problems and venting, you went off and got drunk, and then you go and screw your ex-girlfriend? Yeah that's really trying." She hissed.

"You know nothing that went on last night! If you did you wouldn't be accusing me of something I didn't do!"

"Well then tell me what you did! Tell me, Dean! Quit trying to hide things from me and quit trying to be strong in front me… you don't have to that. You don't have to hide from me." As she spoke her voice got softer with each word. They stared silently at each other, each willing the other to finally break down and speak.

"I'm sorry." They blurted out at the same time.

"Me first." Joce murmured, "I'm sorry I told Sam about me being possessed by the first slayer before you. I'm sorry I've been avoiding being with you because I don't want to talk about our problems. I'm sorry I haven't been there for you when you needed me to. I'm sorry I accused you something you would never do because you're honorable, selfless, kind, and I love you." He grinned at her and she tacked on one more adjective to describe him, "and cocky… but like I said, I love you." If possible Dean's grin widened and he took his turn to speak.

"Joce. I'm sorry I pushed you away when I was dealing with the whole… Nebraska thing. I'm sorry I drank and accused you of things you didn't do. I'm sorry I'm a jackass a lot but when you care for someone as deeply as I care for you it's bound to happen… I… I can't think of anything else to say. Except for… you know… the obvious." He murmured before taking a step closer to him, serious façade he had worn when speaking to her slipped away to be replaced by a lecherous grin. Joce took a step back.

"Oh no. Don't you dare. You cannot just immediately leap to make up sex just like that."

"Oh I can't?" Dean purred and followed her as she continued to step backward. Joce shook her head.

"No way. It's making it too easy on you."

"Too easy? No… I think you're making it hard… very hard." Dean impishly implied. Joce stared at him and took another step away, however the backs of her knees hit the bed and she fell atop it. She continued to scoot backward as Dean crawled his way up her body until they were face to face.

"What happens now?" Joce whispered, her face tilted up to meet his eyes.

"Well… now we have a little fun." Joce grinned at Dean's comment and captured his lips in a half-desperate kiss.

* * *

Dean, practically panting, rolled to the side of Joce. He sighed and curled around her, grunting as he settled next to her, his face buried in her neck. He whispered his next words breathlessly against her skin, "We should have fights like that more often' the make up sex is definitely worth it."

"Someone once told me that the best part of a relationship was the make up sex… I think it's just being with the person you care for." Joce murmured breathlessly. She shifted in his arms and buried her head in his chest. She wondered if she should tell him what had nearly happened last night. No… she couldn't it was just too terrible and she couldn't bring herself to destroy their relationship after it had nearly been destroyed already.

"Hey… I just wanted to tell you something… be nice to Cassie she was the one who helped me figure things out." Joce turned to look at him.

"Really?"

"Yeah… she said she couldn't do that to anyone. She said that you seemed like a nice person."

"Well then I guess she now rates high on my Chicks Dean Dug list." Dean laughed and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Hey. I missed you."

"I missed you too." Joce murmured and then fell asleep

* * *

Joce stayed outside the house silently guarding it while they spoke inside. Dean had wanted her to come inside, begging her to come in and be safe but Joce had shaken her head and simply told him, "Let me protect you for once." It sounded cheesy but he had been so taken aback that he had gone back inside. Now she was just waiting for Dean and Sam to come charging out with all the info they needed and a kickass plan. She tapped her foot impatiently and glanced around. It was another twenty minutes before Sam and Dean walked out. For a moment there was silence before Sam spoke.

"My life was so simple. Just school. Exams. Papers on polycentric cultural norms…" they begin to laugh at the crazy turn Sam's like had taken.

"So, I guess I saved you from a boring existence." Dean muttered. Sam sighed and responded.

"Yeah, occasionally, I miss boring." There was an awkward silence that Joce dared not interrupt.

"Alright, so, this killer truck—."

"I miss conversations that didn't start with "this killer truck"."

"Alright, well, this Cyrus guy…"

"Yeah."

"Evil on a level that infected even his truck. And when he died, the swamp became his tomb. And the spirit was dormant for forty years."

"So, what woke it up?"

"The construction on his house. Or, the destruction."

"Right. Demolition or remodeling can awaken spirits, make 'em restless. Like that theater in Illinois."

"Yeah. And the guy who tears down the family homestead, Harold Todd, is the same guy that kept Cyrus' murder quiet and unsolved."

"So, now his spirit is awakened, and out for blood."

"Of the people who participated in his own murder and then some?" Joce asked.

"Yeah, I guess. Who knows what ghosts are thinking anyway?"

"You know we're gonna have to dredge that body up from the swamp, right?" Dean and Joce grin at each other and nod. "Oh, man."

"You said it."

"Yeah." Cassie comes outside and Dean turns to her.

"Hey."

"Hey. She's asleep. Now what?"

"Well, you stay put, and look after her. Joce will stay with you and make sure nothing happens to either of you. And we'll be back. Don't leave the house." Joce opens her mouth to protest but snaps it shut when Cassie turns to her.

"Does it do that to you too? Get all authoritative on you, all demanding you to do what he sees fit. I hate it." Joce is surprised to laugh.

"Yeah, its gets really annoying sometimes, but really cute because he seems to think he's in change."

"Oh isn't that the best! When he thinks he's in charge and he gets all puffed up and manly about it."

"Hey I'm right here! Look you guys just… don't leave the house, please?" They grin at him.

"You just proved our point, Dean." Dean began to pout so Joce pulled him into a kiss and felt kind of weird kissing him in front of Sam and Cassie, the respective brother she had almost cheated on Dean with and the ex-girlfriend. However Dean didn't seem to mind as he pulled Joce so close she could feel every inch of his body. He cupped the back of her head and deepened the kiss. Dimly she heard Sam clear his throat and Dean removed the hand on her waist to probably flip Sam off before continuing their kiss. He pulled away from her and grinned. "We'll have to finish this later. You comin' or what?" he called to Sam as he got into the car. Sam followed him Joce found herself alone with Cassie as the Impala roared away. There was a long awkward moment before Cassie finally spoke.

"So… do you want to come inside and have some tea? We can gossip about Dean."

"Sure. Tell me, did he take you to some greasy spoon diner on the side of the road for your first date."

"Yeah and surprisingly enough the-."

"Food was actually good!" Joce finished for Cassie and they laughed.

"I never knew how he knew all these good little diners."

"It must be a Dean thing."

"Hey, have you ever noticed that when he gets upset or doesn't want to talk about something he turns his music up?"

"Oh my god," Joce groaned, "AC/DC, maximum volume, for three hours."

"Black Sabbath, maximum volume, for an hour and a half."

"Ouch."

"Tell me about it.

* * *

The match drops to the body on the table and the body begins burning. The boys look at each other and Sam speaks.

"Think that'll do it?" Just as finishes the sentence the ghost truck roars to life and they exchange glances.

"I guess not." Dean mutters.

"So, burning the body had no effect on that thing?"

"Oh, sure it did. Now it's really pissed."

"But Cyrus' ghost is gone, right, Dean?"

"Apparently not the part that's fused with the truck." Dean says as he walks to the impala.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going for a little ride."

"What?"

"I'm going to lead that thing away." He points to the real truck, "That rusted piece of crap, you've gotta burn it."

"How the hell am I supposed to burn a truck, Dean?"

"I don't know. Figure something out." Dean says while tossing Sam a bag of objects and sliding into the Impala.

"Figure something—?" he murmurs while watching the phantom truck follows Dean. He begins to frantically flip through their father's journal when his cell phone rings.

"Hey, you got to give me a minute."

"I don't have a minute! What are we doing?"

"Uh….let me get back to you." He hangs up and calls Cassie, "Hey, Cassie? Hey, it's Sam. Okay, I need some information, and it has to be exactly right." A few minutes later he has the info he needs and calls back Dean. "Alright, Dean?"

"This better be good!"

"Where are you?"

"I'm in the middle of nowhere, with a killer truck on my ass! I mean, it's like it knows I put the torch to Cyrus!"

"Dean, Dean, listen to me, it's important, I have to know exactly where you are."

"Decatur Road, about two miles off the highway."

"Okay, headed east?"

"Yes!" Sam hears something that sounds like another car crashing into the Impala and a thud. Seconds later Dean is back on the phone, "Oh, you son of a bitch!"

"Okay, uh, turn right. Up ahead, turn right… You make the turn?"

"Yeah, I made the turn! You're gonna need to move this thing along a little faster!"

"Alright, you see a road up ahead?"

"No! What—wait, yes, I see it!"

"Okay, turn left."

"What?"

"Alright, now what?"

"You need to go exactly seven-tenths of a mile and stop."

"Stop?"

"Exactly seven-tenths, Dean." There's a long tense moment in which the silence seems to stretch forever. Sam works up the courage to speak, "Dean, you still there?"

"Yeah."

"What's happening?"

"It's just staring at me, what do I do?"

"Just what you are doing. Bringing it to you." The line goes silent for a moment but then Sam can faintly hear Dean speaking.

"Come on, come on."

"Dean? You still there? Dean?" Sam finally asks after too much silence.

"Where'd it go?"

"Dean, you're where the church was."

"What church?"

"The place Cyrus burned down. Murdered all those kids."

"Not a whole lot left."

"Church ground is hallowed ground, whether the church is still there or not. Evil spirits cross over hallowed ground, sometimes they're destroyed. So, I figured maybe that would get rid of it."

"Maybe? Maybe?! What if you were wrong?"

"Huh. Honestly, that thought hadn't occurred to me." The line goes dead and Sam laughs. Knowing Dean he'd be furious to know that he'd risked his life on a hunch. Oh well, at least everything has turned out okay

* * *

The next morning Sam found himself waiting in the car while Joce stood away waiting for her own chance to say goodbye to the woman she had bonded with during the course of an evening.

"My mother says to tell you thanks again. This is a better goodbye than last time."

"Yeah, well, maybe this time it'll be a little less permanent. I mean that in a 'Next time we're close by we'll visit' kind of way…" Dean murmured and blushed.

"You know what? That would be nice; maybe if you guys have kids you could bring 'em by. Then again… you and kids might not mix very well."

"Well, I've seen stranger things happen. A hell of a lot stranger."

"Goodbye, Dean."

"I'll see ya, Cassie. I will." They hug and part. Dean gets into the car and Joce steps over and hugs Cassie.

"It was great talking to you… and thank you… thank you for everything."

"Hey no problem, just keep him in line and make sure he doesn't get himself killed."

"You got it." Joce climbs into the car and stretches out on the backseat. She glances behind them to see Alex and Spike, in their special necro-glasses car and waves.

As they drive away, Joce asleep in the back, Sam speaks.

"I like her."

"Yeah."

"You meet someone like her and Joce; ever make you wonder if it's worth it? Putting everything else on hold, doing what we do? I mean… if Joce was normal… would you do it?" Sam watches Dean grin before reaching into the glove compartment and taking out a pair of sunglasses. He puts them on and reclines back.

"Wake me up when it's my turn to drive."

* * *

A/N: whew, 19 pages man! A culmination of… what like seven months of work. Honestly it was grueling… actually I stopped working on this like a few months ago because I couldn't figure out the direction I was going to take. At first I was going to have Joce sleep with Sam and Dean Sleep with Cassie. Then Joce would once more leave. I scrapped that and went with her not leaving instead and month's later Dean Find out the horrible Jerry Springer worthy truth. Then I had Joce not sleep with Sam but Dean still sleep with Cassie resulting in Joce almost leaving, but he hits her during a fight they have when she says something nasty and then they have crazy wild sex with Joce leaving but coming back within days, messed up out of her mind on drugs. Then I scrapped that because frankly not a happy story. So then I decided on this idea. This seems much better in comparison. Yay! High school is finally over! I graduate on June 3rd. Sorry that this is so late. I had work and school to contend with, now it will just be work. Anyway wish me luck! 


End file.
